DP101,

If I understand correctly you never exposed to OMW, I can't say for certain, but by not doing so you may have allowed the fantasy that OM and your WW will get together "someday" to continue.

Exposing to OMW will force OM to end it with your WW, fantasies live longer than realities especially for WWs.

God Bless
Gamma

Yep, still haven't exposed to the OMW. Apparently some of you are too thick in the skulls and think that every affair is exactly the same. Step outside of the box. I am thankful for finding Marriage Builders, I ordered the program, we read all the books, she agreed to do the program, and then when it came to meeting my EN of SF, she said she couldn't do the program. I have continued using the MB guidelines, but if I don't expose now, all that is moot?

Look I KNOW the the OMW is and has been in an affair for over two years. The whole point that everyone makes about exposing is that this puts another set of eyes on the OM making sure that there is no contact or furtherance of the affair that my spouse was involved in. Believe me, if I ever have an inkling that there is contact, the OM will be exposed to his 822 Facebook friends and family, to include the OMW.

Do you really think that the OMW is going to care that the OM was involved in an affair, when the OMW is currently in a long term affair that the OM is aware of?

I see the OMW kicking the OM out of the house, and then whose eyes are going to be on him?

"I love you, but I am not in love with you." Translation from wayward speak = "I am still seeing OM and he looks alot better to me than you do".

AM

DP101,

Apparently some of you are too thick in the skulls and think that every affair is exactly the same.

Odd considering that your WW is STILL telling you "she loves you but is not in love with you", is that not typical??? And is there any reason to be hostile with people who are likely the only ones you have been able to confide in with perfect honesty, and who really mean you NO HARM?

Do you really think that the OMW is going to care that the OM was involved in an affair, when the OMW is currently in a long term affair that the OM is aware of?

Cheaters HATE being cheated on as their tidy cake eating way of life is threatened, they have a H who supports them, is the father to her children, fixes things, takes the kids to sports and an exciting boy friend who is all excitement and is as addicting as crack cocaine. I've seen a big bad multi-cheating outlaw MC guy fall apart when his W was interested in someone else.

I see the OMW kicking the OM out of the house, and then whose eyes are going to be on him?

His 822 facebook friends, someone with that many friends is likely very consumed with his image and wants to appear like a good guy. I would suspect he values his reputation very much, hence his cowardice in the face of OMWWs affair since he doesn't want to make a scene. Do you have independent confirmation that his OMWW is in an affair btw, or just what OM told your WW.

Did OM ever really end it for good with your WW, I suspect some embers still burn and might continue to burn for years and years. I know from experience that while my WW accepted me back as a father and husband, she never completely accepted me back as a lover.

God Bless
Gamma

You havent done the plans at all.

You didnt expose, which kept her a liar free to fantasise about OM.

You didnt fight for the marraige by exposing to OMW. This would have cause OM to throw your wife under a bus to save his marriage and reveal his lies to her.

You didnt insist on radical honesty - as soon as she got mad about the poly, you did a 180 and pretended to believe a ridiculous lie.

Plus having SF when she is not enthusiastic is not MB at all!!! Did you skip the whole chapter on POJA?

You failed to kill her addiction and then tried to get her to keep up the pretence with you.

You tried it your way and it is not working.

Are you finally ready to work the MB plans, starting with a nuclear exposure? An exposure that has a shot at killing this affair and letting the poor BW off the hook? Show your wife you will not tolerate adultery and will fight for a healthy marriage out of love for her.