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Fast forward three to five years:
I am back. I can't remember my old username, but the same thing is happening. He/she is in another/same affair. AM, if you want to read something that will raise your blood pressure, go back and read some of the old posts to those people who are coming back. It is chilling. Some were told not to expose, don't snoop, just be as nice as possible. I will never forget a so called board "veteran" telling BobPure he had to "POJA" exposure with his cheating wife. [thank God he did not listen!] That is why we see so many people come back with repeat affairs. Marriage Builders was a board secret back then and no one knew how to recover. At least these newer people [past 3-4 years] have no excuse. All the tools are here for the taking!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Mel,
I'm already on medication for high blood pressure.
It seems as if there has been an evolution of MB advice on the forums. I think one improvement is the identification and "call out" of non-MB advice. Another great benefit are the compilation threads - all the information in one place. Bless those who put those helpful threads together.
I feel badly for those who struggled after receiving useless advice. In a conversation a short time after D-day in 2008, I told OWH about this site and he said he had been here during his wife's first A and did not find it helpful. Of course, he never exposed the A and OW moved on to my H a few months later to start her third A that OWH knew about.
AM
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Mel,
I'm already on medication for high blood pressure.
It seems as if there has been an evolution of MB advice on the forums. I think one improvement is the identification and "call out" of non-MB advice. Another great benefit are the compilation threads - all the information in one place. Bless those who put those helpful threads together. You are right that there is a major sea change. Dr. H announced a few years ago that the purpose of the board was for Marriage Builders. To my amazement, some people were really mad about that. The troublemakers are gone now and the board management keeps people focused on Marriage Builders, thankfully! The atmosphere here is so much nicer!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The atmosphere here is so much nicer!! BUT YOU'RE ALL SO MEAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!  
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Cannot look at People magazine or their website anymore.
"Newly Single Debra Messing steps out with Co-Star"
Single my butt, the woman just walked out on her husband of 10 years and her seven year old. This isn't single folks - NOPE they are still married.
I am banning it all from my life now. I hate adultery. I just hate it. I really really hate it. I hate adultery!
Last edited by itistoughlove; 12/31/11 10:57 AM.
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"Newly Single Debra Messing steps out with Co-Star" This is just one more case of co-workers having an affair. I can't understand why a magazine would glorify that. Puke. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Are we surprised that checkstand trash, and the chick-porn produced by companies like Harlequin books produce crap like that?
Heh.
You can't even watch a movie without something coming up... Rented 30 Minutes Or Less... Allusion to a character's mother shagging a lifeguard.
/eyeroll... NEXT!
Honestly, not gonna rule the remaining years of MY life
..
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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If I shunned everything that a wayward acted, sang or wrote, I would have a very limited amount of items I could entertain myself with.
I do avoid reading or watching things that glorify adultery though. If adultery is part of the story and the APs aren't living happily ever after, I can watch it now. There are some things I just can't watch because the actors are just too wayward. Brangelina for one(and 2 I guess).
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Something I can't figure out is how they lasted this long...
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Something I can't figure out is how they lasted this long... I am thinking it is the kid factor?
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I'm sure the nannies would survive the split...
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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As long as they stuck with Brad. I'm sure he's had "talks" with them quite a few times...
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Well, he IS kind of pretty... Were I ever to serve a life sentence....
Er... Nevermind.
Hey! Look! A unicorn!
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Yay! A unicorn! .....
HEYWAIT.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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AM, pass me some of that HBP medication...because I am about to explode!
*deep breath*
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"Yes but .... but, but, but what if exposure doesn't work?"The house is already ON FIRE and you quibble about tossing the next bucket of water?????? 
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I've often wondered about that myself...
I don't get it.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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New RANT  Lazy butts who refuse to read the generous and FREE basic concepts before posting their whiny "Oh woe is me I'm a wayward and I hate myself."NO ONE CARES !!!!!!!! Study the Plans then get to work. Or, shuddup already.
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Yes but but but but but butttttttttttttttttttttttt...Oh woe is me I'm a wayward and I hate myself for being so stupid as to get busted and I'm really really super-duper sorry that I got caught but no one cares and Pep is a meany and told me to shutup!
Last edited by Northwood8900; 01/06/12 04:08 PM.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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New RANT Lazy butts who refuse to read the generous and FREE basic concepts before posting their whiny "Oh woe is me I'm a wayward and I hate myself."NO ONE CARES !!!!!!!! Study the Plans then get to work. Or, shuddup already. At least one such person today has fallen silent, and I hope that means they are reading and viewing.  Every poster here agrees, as a condition of membership, to read the Basic Concepts before posting. I wonder what the real compliance rate is with that requirement: how many people really do it. We help people by motivating them to follow the plan that works. We have the plan that can give people real hope.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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