I got told on my DDay :

"Oh well, get over it"

I love this one...

"he hit all the right angles"

Like he was a geometry teacher or something...

Or...

"I was so bored with the sex.. It was boring from the beginning. I used to pretend he was you sometimes..."

Um... ok, why didn't you just come home then?

After my DDay, I demanded no contact. OK, he agreed.
A few days later I found out they had spoken to oneanother. So I asked, "Have you communicated with Skank ?"
No, I have not seen her.
"Have you communicated with Skank ?"
No, I have not seen her
"Have you communicated with Skank ?"
No, I have not seen her.
"Have you communicated with Skank ?"
No, I have not seen her.

This went on a few more times.
I finally went on the computer and showed him the meaning of
communicated, his reply was.
"I didn't know that ment talking to her on the phone"

Well DUH !!!!!! What planet are you from ? Fog City, on planet Fog in the galaxy Fog, and there without a flash light or what ?

I seriously just LOL'd like crazy at this one, because I've done this too.

Me: Have you been sleeping with anyone?
WH: What?! NO! You are always bringing stuff up! Why can't you just let it go! I told you I have not been doing anything!!
Me: I show him HIS credit card statement that has the bill for two different hotels on them that he took unknown woman to.
WH: complete silence.

Dumbo. They always think we never find out.

Wow...!!!

Erika, I asked my WH about one of his hotel visits. I asked him again, were you sleeping with her. He replied "No we didn't sleep".

So what then were you doing, watching TV for the 2 hours you were actually in the hotel room for ?

Honeyandsage....

I asked WH the same thing about military skank. Would you believe he actually told me they didn't sleep together...but did "other things"

....
....
....
I wasn't born yesterday.

BUMP for newbies.
"SOS" different day.

With a straight face!!!!!!!!???

This is what my WW said to me last weekend:

Ok, no more lies. I just want to be honest with each other. I did buy a prepaid phone. I can't find it now. Do you have it? (I had asked her if she bought one and she denied it so I got the receipt and she still denied it)
I only bought it so you wouldn't keep checking the phone bill.

Me: Did you get another one?
Her: No. I promise, you can check if you want (adapted and used cash).

Me: DS said he saw you with it and you said it was your friend's phone.
Her: No I don't have one.

Me: Is DS lying?
Her: I don't have one.

Can I get off this merry go round please?

I'll toss one in.

After many attempts at trying to get WW to confess to A with my best friend, after my best friends W had observed his foot in my W's crotch while playing cards.

WW "I would never do anything with him, I think of him like a brother" Then why would you allow his foot in your crotch?

Me "you don't get so brazen as to rub each others crotches while playing cards with your spouses at the table, without having had sexual contact prior to that. More sexual contact had to have happened for you to eventually get brave enough and excited about doing that in front of us".

WW "it started with rubbing feet and just ended up at the crotch, there was nothing else that ever happened ever"...Under her breath, "other than several incidents that I just don't want you to know about like oral sex both ways, and a 3 month EA that included 1500 texts and 300+ minutes of talk time etc etc".

Oh, gee, I just thought of one to add.

This was not about WXH's affair, but it's just so crazy and it happened the last time I was totally alone with WXH. I have not repeated that experience.

WXH was raised in church and has been a regular church-goer most of his life. However, about 8 years ago he told me that the Bible is too full of contradictions and he could no longer believe what it said. He spent the rest of our marriage trying to convince me to agree with him. (While still going to church and maintaining his image as a fine, Christian businessman.) On a few occasions he tried to get the children to side with him, too.

But when I was stuck in an elevator alone with him during the divorce process, he told me that it was my fault he was no longer a believer. I didn't ever provide an adequate defense of the gospel.

How about,

I think you are trying to turn my friends against me and that is just not right.

my response: How am I doing that???

By telling them things that have happened.

You mean about your girlfriend?

Yes she has nothing to do with us

Briiinnnggg, this is nasa calling, the nutcase is in orbit

Lol, yeah, mommy!

WH: "If you really loved me, then you will let me go and be supportive of that decision. I think it is time you find a boyfriend."

WH: "I don't understand why you are angry with OW, none of this is her fault. She is a really good person"

This thread always gets me to choke on my coffee.

I got a variation of this too. Funny how a WH seems to want to play matchmaker to ease his guilt. Sadly at the time I was still reeling and didn't challenge just how weird this is.

All of the OW seem to be "good" and faultless. There must be some sort of checklist involved in choosing a skank.


Yep, there went the coffee!

"We could have had something if you would have left me alone."

"Let's keep this between you and me. No one else should be involved because its a private matter."

"Don't get him in trouble because he has a wife and kids to worry about."
(what about me and our kids?!)

Shocking. Nutso.

Here is mine....WXH said, 'this would have never happened if you had been giving me BJs.'