I would LOVE to see more counselors get off the "let's rehash the past, and list all the flaws and bellyache over all that's not right."

The truth is Senn, I need to pull back to work on my own stuff.

I got problems over here and have been spending time advising others (and hiding from my own stuff) while my marriage/family could use some attention and major application of MB principles.

I see myself in you (although I am the WW in my sitch). I am not taking enough action and it's starting to cause a lot of frustration for me internally.

That's right. I'm a FWW. I engaged in an online EA two years ago with an old high school guy on facebook. It lasted a couple months and consisted of sporadic, suggestive messages. I was acting like a freak and checking facebook all the time to see what he was doing, etc.

It ended when he drove hours to see me only to announce he was engaging in a full blown PA and had found true love at last. He's married by the way.

That encounter was so horrifying. I woke up and looked at what I was doing and the risks I was inviting into my life, my marriage and my family. This was two years ago. It took me another year to find marriage builders and start reading everything I could get my hands on and acting on it.

I used to be in the camp of "follow your bliss" and other such nonsense. I see marriages blowing up right and left all around me. I can sense when someone is casting around for an affair. It's everywhere!

This is why I feel I understand some of these WW's. I get the entitled, "I want to be happy and there's something better out there for me" BS because I lived it.

I'm sorry to say that I'm a counselor and up until the last 2 years, I offered very bad advice to my clients dealing with adultery. I still think about some of the people I injured with my crap insight.

Just thought it only fair to let everyone know my history. Posting here and especially encouraging the BH's is part of how I'm trying to make amends.

I've been working to create a better marriage and have a long way to go. My husband isn't perfect but I love him and I want our family to work. We've talked about what happened in depth and also talk about how often those opportunities to let the boundaries slide come up. Like I said above, it's everywhere.

The thing is, some people have those boundaries and they're so firm. Others are sliding around all over the place. I honestly believe that people who get carried away by an extramarital affair are looking for it. They just can't admit it. I WAS looking for it. Some excitement, passion, romance, to feel attractive, etc but when I got up close and really saw what it was/is, I was and am horrified by it.

Shame on me.

I'm here to learn to be a better wife and partner, to learn to be of better service to my clients and to make amends.

Not much job security in that...