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I did something really stupid a month before we met. I slept with this guy once. I felt really bad for what I did. When we finally met during his visit he proposed to me and I accepted it without telling him what happened a month before he came. You were a free agent at that time. Sure, you should have told him about all your past lovers, but its not like you cheated. You hadn't even met him then.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Last edited by fonda_10; 12/22/11 06:54 PM. Reason: Limit discussion to current posters
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He considered it cheating because we were "dating" online. I told him I know it was bad but I don't wanna defend myself that we haven't met personally yet that time since I had feelings for him as well while we were chatting online. ok, but in reality it was not cheating. You had not even met him. Sure, you should have told him because he has a right to know your history now that you are married, but online chatting is not the same as being married.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just hope he'd understand that.
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I just hope he'd understand that. fonda, I would just tell him you are sorry and try to be sympathetic. I am telling you all this for you. It probably won't help to tell him that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I agree. Thank you. I hope this will pass
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Good luck! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody,
You were a free agent at that time. Sure, you should have told him about all your past lovers, but its not like you cheated. You hadn't even met him then
Melody please! For people who try to be honest and true to their word marriage is not a starting line for truth. That she did not tell her H before they got married is a huge issue.
God Bless
Gamma
Last edited by Gamma; 12/22/11 02:14 PM.
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Melody,
You were a free agent at that time. Sure, you should have told him about all your past lovers, but its not like you cheated. You hadn't even met him then
Melody please! For people who try to be honest and true to their word marriage is not a starting line for truth. That she did not tell her H before they got married is a huge issue.
God Bless
Gamma Hello?? Did you not read my post?  I said the problem is the honesty, not that she cheated. She WAS a free agent so she did not cheat. The issue is that she didn't tell him about it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[
You were a free agent at that time. Sure, you should have told him about all your past lovers, but its not like you cheated. You hadn't even met him then. Gamma, please read my post.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Last edited by fonda_10; 12/22/11 07:05 PM.
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Melody,
You were a free agent at that time. Sure, you should have told him about all your past lovers, but its not like you cheated. You hadn't even met him then
Melody please! For people who try to be honest and true to their word marriage is not a starting line for truth. That she did not tell her H before they got married is a huge issue.
God Bless
Gamma Hello?? Did you not read my post? I said the problem is the honesty, not that she cheated. She WAS a free agent so she did not cheat. The issue is that she didn't tell him about it. He had long term intentions and asked her to be exclusive to him. Her response to us was that she did not take it seriously. The problem is did she tell him no or yes? Did she let him think she would be faithful? What this poster said was that she did not take the request seriously. But did she let him think she would honor his request? Some people think that cheating can't take place unless the people are married instead of dating. That's wrong when a relationship begins and one of the people step out and cheat it's called: CHEATING How many times a BS poster is told here why did you marry the WS when you caught them having an affair on you before you married them. Too many. Can't call it cheating/affair when it only suits you.
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[
Some people think that cheating can't take place unless the people are married instead of dating. That's wrong when a relationship begins and one of the people step out and cheat it's called:
CHEATING Sorry, but thats ludicrous. She had just as much right to date the other guy as she did her current husband at the time. If she was "cheating" with one guy then she was "cheating" with the other because there was no committment; she had not even met the guy. Let's not get silly here and equate adultery with dating. Dating is dating and cheating is cheating. An unmarried, unengaged person is a free agent.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody,
Let's not get silly here and equate adultery with dating. Dating is dating and cheating is cheating. An unmarried, unengaged person is a free agent.
Well I don't hear too many folks saying
"she cheated on me just before we were married, good thing too otherwise it would have hurt, it made it so easy to forgive her"
Instead you think to yourself, "why did I marry this person, can I get an annulment" and your marriage is tainted for years.
I think your separation between M and UnM was part of my WWs rationale with OM2, since the PA was pre-marriage and the EA was during the early part of our M it made it all ok.
God Bless
Gamma
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Fonda,
Did you get tested for STDs?
God Bless
Gamma
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protected or not ... nothing is 100%.
my 2c
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Had a test before I met my husband and after I met him. And I wasn't really active. It was just one time after almost a year since the last.
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