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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,492
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,492 |
For those wondering if they should travel for the holidays and go to various places for xmas dinner with inlaws .. and ex laws ... etc ... I just wanted to share a verse from the bible that explains it plain as day as to what you should do .. which fits right next to POJA on this subject.
Proverbs 23:6-8
Do not eat the food of a begrudging host, do not crave their delicacies: (7)for they are the kind of people that only think about the cost. "Eat and Drink" they tell you, but their heart is not with you (8)you will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments.
MNG
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,492
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,492 |
Just figured I would explain this a bit better ...
My step mother.. (rolls eyes) .. wanted me to bring our family to her place for christmas dinner .. but my wife and I used POJA and decided that we would stay home and invite all our family to our place for christmas dinner since it is a neutral ground for alot of our family since it is so split up .. this invitation included my step mom and my dad.
Well, my step mom is very begrudging and complains about the cost of things all the time .. leaves price tags on gifts .. on purposethat are not from santa .. just so she can show us how much she spent.. INfact ... (and i will never forget it) My step mom told me 2 years ago to go #$%@ myself christmas morning. She has never apologized for it and it was becasue we were having a little tiff about santa .. and her real daughter had just phoned and said she was not coming over. SO she was upset. SHe feels justified in her AO/DJ and refuses to say sorry.... even tho i said sorry for my part.
So with POJA we are learning to have a happy christmas again .. and inviate everyone with open arms .. no begrudging on our part and will never again ewat at someone who is begrudging towards us.
MNG
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437 |
We just avoid all family on the holidays, period. Why ruin a perfectly blessed day? 
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Interesting thoughts, NiceGuy, and timely for us. Missing our second Christmas in a row with my family. However, it's been a blessing.
My stepmother has AOs, too.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,492
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,492 |
Are you in the same boat markos?
This year has been weird as the toxic people in our lives have come to surface and have been almost eliminated from our social circle thanks to MB. The good thing though about that is that it has helped our christmas budget! Christmas is looking pretty good this year for my kids and instead of relying on other people to provide the things they wanted ... we are able to afford it because we have not thinned ourselves out with such a large group of toxic family members that EXPECT a christmas gift.
MNG
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