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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
apologize to those I offended


Thank goodness this ended!

Today gave me a good example of why I made this statement.

My best friend since the 2nd grade is direct, abrasive, and stubborn... kind of like someone else some people may know.

If I were to geek out a bit, it would be like he is a warrior, and I am a medicine man.

When a problem arises, his approach is to attack, hack, kill it where it stands. Ask questions in the aftermath.

Mine is to observe, analyze, and plan.

So, we fight a lot. When we were younger, we often got into fist fights (this stopped when the aches and bruises took a little longer than we liked to fade).


He seeks righteousness, and fights to seek concession.

I seek correctness, and fight to be heard.

One of our old circle committed suicide earlier this week, and I have been home sick. NGB and the girls went over, and our oldest DD's were having a little teen spat.

Today at the service, his DD seemed a little uncomfortable with me, and I took her aside and told her that whatever went on between them was between them. They do not have to maintain a friendship due to the friendship of their fathers.

He assumed that I was trying to "right" her, and decided to start a tiff. In the battle to be right, he carried on only with his assumptions, posturing with the challenge "tell me I'm wrong," to which I - of course - complied. I spoke my peace, stated I was finished, and left.

Shortly after I received a message "I'm a [jerk], I'm sorry."

To which I replied "It's not what you are, but where you choose to aim it some times, and how long you choose to fire."


I don't need to be right. I need to be heard. I don't need to win, or need concession.

However, sometimes, SOMEBODY needs to be... "right."
The message I get from this is that you feel are more virtuous than your friend because you "seek to be correct" and your friend "seeks to be right." That statement is itself "seeks righteousness". It is also rather nasty because it analysed and planned an attack on someone who is not here, to assert your intellectual superiority.

As for the difference between being "righteous" and being "correct" ... Everyone seeks to be correct; I don't know anyone who seeks to be "incorrect".

Do you have a need to tell us how correct you are? Why do so by making such a pompous post, puffing yourself up and taking digs at someone loved and respected here?



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AGree Sugarcane. When I read it I thought perhaps he doesn't realize how that post demonstrates self righteousness and a need to pump himself up by putting down his friend.

self-right�eous [self-rahy-chuhs, self-]
adjective
confident of one's own righteousness, especially when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others.

A person who truly is seeking "correctness" will stand on the merit of his claims alone; he doesn't have a NEED to tell others how correct he is.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Last edited by HoldHerHand; 10/31/11 07:52 PM.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Last edited by HoldHerHand; 10/31/11 07:53 PM.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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I understand what he is talking about

We all need people to take us out of our ivory towers where we "wish" and "profess what should be" and tell us like it is

" a brother is borne for adversity" comes to mind, as also " Iron sharpening Iron", when we find ourselves in situations where our immediate judgements make us want to act/react the right way

Then our values come in and we act and think a certain way

In the big picture, the truth is, that it is the intentions that matter, and who knows what those are coming from?

None of us know the depth and of the human heart and it's intentions, we can only go on the actions.

I agree with him that we should be glad that Mel is honest and clear because she can see a lot. I am too glad that is over

That's the way I took it anyways

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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
PS; please stick to arrogant as a descriptor, moralistic wouldn't really fit me.

The moral majority is neither?

Moral or the majority?

I agree with you as we examine people individually

But we still have to agree, the law is good

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Last edited by HoldHerHand; 10/31/11 07:55 PM.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
And common sense is neither common, nor sense.

Moralistic impresses the projection of self-morality onto others, which is self-defeating.

Why not just go straight to hypocrite?
This used to be a fun thread which people could ignore if they wanted to, or join in with good humour. Now, overnight, it has turned nasty.


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Do me a favor and take this off my thread. This is a FUN thread and all this vague philosophical talk about nothing in particular is a downer. Thanks.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Np Mel it has hit a wall anyways

Sorry let's keep the heavy stuff for when it has to be I agree

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Thankee, CP! smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Just in time for the latest "G-BCW" MB poster .....

Originally Posted by americajin
Yes, you're exactly right Mel. Improving communication would not help her marriage, no not at all. But then again you are always right, and I guess I should just stay out of your way. Excellent suggestion that I am going to take to heart. In parting I wish to thank you for proving my point.

Mods, please delete all of my threads, I do not wish to be a disruptive influence to people in need, and so would like to eradicate my presence here.

To those of you who I have benefitted in some small or large way, I say -

Arigato gozaimasu!! Sumimasen, ikanakutewa narimasen! Sayonara.

Last edited by Pepperband; 12/23/11 12:05 PM.
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rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao


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I like the picture Pep, I had a cap gun just like that when I was a kid.

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I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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Bump, just for the fun of it. smile


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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