ME AND MY FIANCEE ARE 25 YEARS APART IN OUR AGES BUT WE TRULY LOVE EACH OTHER. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON OUR SUCCESS IN A HAPPY HEALTHY MARRIAGE?

How could we possibly know? You have not told us anything. What do you both know about the Marriage Builders concepts on this website. Do you have any of Dr Harley's books?

Side bar: All caps is considered YELLING on a forum.

It depends on your ages.
Hypothetical:

I am 62.
If my spouse is 87 (25 years older) I'd be dealing with health issues related to any octogenarian. No big deal, right? Maybe not much of a sex life. Maybe we can't travel or get out of the house much. Maybe the costs of a nursing home or caretaker. But, that's what I agreed to when I married a guy 25 years older. Right?

I am 62.
If my spouse is 37 (25 years younger) I might be ready for retirement while my spouse is ready to further his career. Not a problem, right? I can delay my dream retirement traveling another 20+ years while my spouse continues to work. My spouse may be required to slow down some, but that's OK. He knew he'd be required to slow down for me as I got older. That's what he agreed to when he married a woman 25 years older.

Two thoughts -

Do you like the Eagles? Play the song Lyin Eyes and listen to the lyrics.

You have nothing at all in common, Mr Mike. Different tastes in just about everything. She is happy that she has a man who knows how to treat a woman instead of guys her own age who haven't matured yet, and you know a lot about life and how to do things. You're happy and flattered that you have a young partner that still wants to have sex regularly and makes you feel like a stud. If she would just stop acting like a kid so much, everything would be perfect. Soon that turns into resentment on her part that you really never listen to her because you feel she doesn't know anything like you do. You're not her husband, you're her Dad.

Fast Forward ten to fifteen years. You had a kid, and the child's friends tease her about is it her Dad or Granddad that attends the parent teacher conferences. You get tired a lot easier, and sex has gone from once a night to once weekly to once weakly. She on the other hand is still pretty young and gets a lot of attention when she's not with you. All she does is complain that you're boring and never want to do anything. Your friends are envious, but if they only knew....

Ten years after that, your kid is in college, you are on Social Security, and your wife has to work and resents you for it. But at work she gets to be with folks her own age.

So she tells you she must go out for the evening, to comfort an old friend who's feeling down,
but you know where she's going as she's leavin, she's headed for the cheating part of town.....

A friend of mine married a woman about 12-13 years younger than he is. Once he turned 50, she lost interest and started having affairs with men her age and younger. The divorce was final last month. Poor guy's youngest child is only 11. He'll be nearly 60 when the kid graduates from high school.

IMO, you're not likely to have a long-term, fulfilling marriage with someone young enough to be your child.

I had a friend that married a man 24 years older than her. Fast forward 30 years later, their kids are grown, she is in the prime of her career and healthy, looking good, lots of energy. He is old, tired, retired...she divorced him. Not a great ending to what was a wonderful relationship.

As in everything else that requires a major decision, you have to think it through and try to consider reality. I am engaged to a man 15 years younger(I'm 52). I had a long-term marriage before him and he's never been married. It was hard for me to get past the age difference. I felt it might be unfair to him and he'd suddenly wake up one morning and have what I called a "Maggie Mae" moment (the morning sun when it's in your face really shows your age). We've talked about this a lot in the 3 years since we met. Although I'm older, he has MS and while he's very healthy now with few symptoms, no one knows what the future will bring. We have decided that we are totally committed to each other for better or worse, in sickness and in health. People in my family regularly live into their 90s. Does the age difference matter? Sometimes it does, but never enough to break us apart. We have too many other things going for us. And we've carefully considered the age and MS implications for our future.

ltr, I hope you start your own thread with the above post as a basis for it.
I believe MB would be very beneficial in your relationship with this younger gentleman. For both of you, especially with the unique challenges you face.

~optimism

Geeze, I hope not. If age does matter, don't tell my fianc�e who is 30 years older than me. I am happier than I ever have been in my life!

I think Mr. Mike was just happening by and thought it would be fun to post something.