Caracal, I have actually wondering if people actually read my thread. I agree that there seem to be very few, if any other, BH's still here after entering plan b or in my case after divorce.

I get the same response in terms of the hope I still have that my wife will see the light one day. People keep telling me to move on. I have moved on.

Moving on doesn't necessarily mean I have to find somebody else. I am perfectly okay without someone. There are times when I do get lonely but I know I'm never alone. God is with me.

I feel exactly the same about my WH. I do find that a lot of people don't get it though. I get a lot of 'kick him to the kerb' and 'the next guy will be lucky to have you' comments.

I too am not ready to give up on him yet, however, I know that right now he is toxic to me and my wellbeing. He is most definitely not someone I would want as a friend.

Should he come to realise that he does want me in his life, he knows what to do. My plan B letter was clear enough.

I enjoy reading your posts, to me your story is inspirational and shows me that though I have a long and probably bumpy way to go, I will get there.

When I tell people I don't have a desire to date now or maybe even ever, I get criticized. Do I care? NNNOOOO! Dr. Harley suggests that BS's wait a period of 2 yrs post d-day. I'm now at the beginning of yr 2 now, but to be honest, I'm actually willing to wait longer if I have to.

Do I still have hope inspite the fact we are now divorced? Yes I do. But Im comforted in knowing that the bible is supportive of it...

1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.

I like that. I think I may stick it on my fridge.
Just as a reminder what real love is.

Thanks Mark.

Today was a pretty good day for the most part. I had an awesome time with DD. We had dinner after church, went home and took naps (we were stuffed), then got our second wind and saw a movie (Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked) and bowling after that.

What made it somewhat bittersweet was realizing the time we were having minus one person. It has been 15 months since our separation, 1 month since our D was final, 7 months since I've spoken to my now xWW and I still have my days.

The days are not bad days. I'm not distraught or sad. There are no tears. Its hard to describe but it wasn't the greatest day. I guess this is all normal. It seems this forum has turned into my means of release so here I am.

I'm still praying for comfort and peace. I'm still thanking God for all he has done for me. I'm still praying for his will to be done in my life. AND I still pray for my xWW. Its really all I can do now.

I guess I'm done "releasing" right now...

I'd like to start of by saying im glad to see Mortarman has returned to offer his wisdom.

Next, I'd like to say that a new journey has begun for me. On Monday, I decided to start learning Greek to help with my biblical understanding. In 2 days, I've tackled the alphabet (the word alphabet actually comes from the 1st 2 greek letters - alpha & beta...just thought I'd add that..lol). I'm just gonna keep at it. It can do nothing but help.

Also, an update with the young couple I've been counseling. They seem to be responding well. I ate lunch with them on Saturday and discussed their progress since the last meeting. They have discovered that recovery, and marriage in general, is hard work but both seem to be committed. I'm just gonna continue to do what I can to help.

Hey Mark...

Just noticed your divorce was recently final and I'm sorry it ended up that way but happy to see you moving on.

I'm half Greek but I don't speak it. I do know that most Greek Orthodox churches have Greek language classes so you may want to search your area for the closest church. Then you can go to their festivals and eat their tremendous food.

Anyway...I like the path you've chosen. Had I ended up divorced, I fear I wouldn't have been as prudent.

Mr. Wondering

I have always wanted to learn Greek and Hebrew in order to better understand the Bible by reading the original texts.

Yeah, I'm moving on but the hope still remains. I think I'm actually gonna change my sig, too.

In terms of the Greek, I've always been a DIY kind of guy. I've found countless books as well as internet resources to aid me. Some even contain actual lessons with tests and everything. I'm just gonna stay with this approach for now.

Now for the prudence, lets just thank God I'm not what I used to be!!!

You just have to do it. So what you waiting for??? Lol

Some time to free up! Chasing a high school senior trying to get into college, a middle school boy who has baseball all of the time and a four year old...as well as trying to keep up with the baseball career of our 19 year old...all the while having my wife, my job, etc...

Well, not sure the plate can hold much more right now!

Just picking at you, Mortarman. But I see you said "baseball". The greatest sport ever created!!! I played college and some professional, so I know a little about that sport. Great game!!!

So my personal recovery continues...

Thanks to Mortarman, my new prayer has been "walls and doors". I think that is an awesome concept and I will never forget that.

I'm a week into my NT Greek course and I can now read Greek. I don't know what all the words mean, although I do know some. Getting ready to take the Unit 1 test.

I signed up at a gym yesterday since I no longer have a day job. I can work out regularly now and it feels good. I'm gonna be sore for the next few days but its not my first rodeo. I may even be able to get back to my playing shape and strength or better. I'm pumped (no pun intended).

And the journey continues....

Well, I went out last night to do some karaoke and had an absolute blast. I was, it would seem, the hit of the night (I've been singing since six and even sang at my wedding). I had women all over me all night including a 45 year old widower who seemed to not be able to read the signs of disinterest. Lol.

People were coming and actually making requests for me to sing certain songs. I had one girl tell me she wasn't leaving until I sang another song. My ring did keep some away from me but not all. Yeah, Ive been divorced now for a little more than a month and I haven't removed it yet and I'm not sure if or when I will. I'm just enjoying life.

Since I started back working out, I've put on about 5lbs of muscle trying get to my target of 20-25 (I'm 5'10", 160 trying to get to 180-185).

All in all, Im doing great.

Good to hear and attention is always welcome.

Personal recovery is good and it sounds like you have a good attitude.

I would, however, remove the ring if you�re officially divorced, but that�s just me. Why keep it on otherwise? Why give importance to someone who isn�t worth it?

I understand not wanting to remove your ring yet.

Consider taking it off and keeping it in a safe box and giving it a kiss each night before bed and when you get up to start your day. It will show your respect for the marriage and yet not mislead others to think you are currently married.

Just a suggestion.......

Yeah, I must admit the attention felt good. I had a great time! With my new wardrobe, the changes in my physique since I started back lifting, and the attention, I feel pretty good about myself.

As far as the ring and the fact my ww (or WxW) doesn't DESERVE my acknowledgement nor my commitment nor my faithfulness nor my love, you are correct. Most people will not agree with my stance or decision to "stand" for my marriage but I'm not most people and I could care less about what most people think. Continuing to wear my ring and not pursue a new relationship is a testament to my view of marriage as being lifelong. Regardless of what the status of our relationship is in the courthouse, our heavenly status is still married and that's enough for me.

My choice to continue to acknowledge her and love her inspite of her being undeserving of it is the very definition of unconditional love. Its a choice I make and one I don't regret. I just have simply decided to move on while I wait for God in his own way and time to resurrect my marriage. Will it happen with certainty? I don't know. But if I knew, it wouldn't be faith.

I continue to stand by my commitment and I continue to believe in the verse of Scripture I list in my sig. I know I have the out because of her actions to find someone else, but I also have the option of waiting on God. It is difficult and at times cones with extreme temptation but I will just wait.

GOD BLESS!

Take the ring off when you are ready, and not one moment before.

Mark,
You're doing great. I wish your divorce had never finalized, but stay in your faith. There's no law about remarrying your ex-spouse. I hope one day you get the opportunity.

GJM,
I wish it hadn't also but that's something I couldn't stop. I thank you for your encouraging words and thoughts. I've been following your story also and hope things can turn around for you. This is a very challenging time for you, as I know all too well, but you can get through it.

Stay strong...