|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709 |
Ruikee. This is turning into a finger pointing match full of he said and she said. I got the impression that your W and son could be in immediate physical danger when you stated that OMW ended up in the hospital for 3 days. Although, I have no doubt that OM is very abusive, mental abuse is very hard to prove. Sadly, I have to say that others will most likely view this as bitter and spiteful.
I agree with nESRE. The legal system is your best bet here. Fight wisely and effectively to protect your son.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
Thanks guys, i did call my father in law today to express my concern, he said he appreciated it and would talk to her. I did in fact get served today. I little sad but i know it will all be ok.
BLessings
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,080
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,080 |
Thanks guys, i did call my father in law today to express my concern, he said he appreciated it and would talk to her. I did in fact get served today. I little sad but i know it will all be ok.
BLessings Ruikee Sorry to hear that. DO what you can WITHIN the law to be there for your kids. Kids will definately need you if she is going down a slippery slope. Be there all you can for them. nESRE
M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011
Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686 |
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
My apologies as i havent been through this. I was served with divorce papers yesterday. Blessings
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Hi, Ruikee, I'm sorry to hear all of this.  I'm sorry I haven't weighed in before now, but the holidays have made my posting very scattershot, and I haven't been able to follow everything. I am still hoping and praying that you will be able to turn things around, and protect your children (and maybe your wife). As a man who has worked hard on eliminating anger and control in your own life, you are obviously a better choice for your wife than this man she's got going now.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
Hi, Ruikee, I'm sorry to hear all of this. I'm sorry I haven't weighed in before now, but the holidays have made my posting very scattershot, and I haven't been able to follow everything. I am still hoping and praying that you will be able to turn things around, and protect your children (and maybe your wife). As a man who has worked hard on eliminating anger and control in your own life, you are obviously a better choice for your wife than this man she's got going now. Its ok Markos, i understand. Thank you, i have came a long way. Some people are saying that the reason she is so angry and lashing out at me now, is because i am a person she doesnt like anymore. Meaning, she may like the abusive type, which i am not anymore. All i know is alot of people that use to not like me, love me now, and i am proud of my progress. At this point Markos, i dont know what i can do to turn her around. I just dont know. I thought there was an article somewhere about becoming irresistable.
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Meaning, she may like the abusive type, which i am not anymore. She does seem to have picked an abuser, but the truth is that you have a massive advantage over him with her.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
Thanks for the encouragement Markos, i also am the father of our son. Joyce has asked me on the show again, i think this thursday, we will have to see what Bill has to say. You are an inspiration on here and many are blessed by your presence.....
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
I will look forward to hearing you again, Ruikee. At some point I need to listen to all your shows straight through.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
I will look forward to hearing you again, Ruikee. At some point I need to listen to all your shows straight through. It looks like they have the email issues worked out as Joyce and I are communication beautifully. They have moved me to Monday now. Again thanks for supporting everyone Markos. Blessings to you and your family. Bill
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Ruikee, I heard this old radio show this morning, and thought it might be helpful for you: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=39Getting a wife who has checked out of the marriage involved again involves figuring out how to get the chance to deposit those love units. I'm concerned that the last chance you had was spent trying to get her to a retreat with you that would involve education about what both of you "should" be doing in the marriage. Do you see how that was a disrespectful judgment on your part? Since your wife's feeling is she doesn't want to be trapped with a controlling husband, eliminating anything that leads to that feeling is going to be key.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
It looks like they have the email issues worked out as Joyce and I are communication beautifully. Thank goodness! I've referred so many people to the show only to hear them say they never heard back. And I had the same problem myself. For awhile they would only get my messages when I was sending a comment or compliment, never when I had an actual question. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
EDIT: Found it - March 9, 2007
Last edited by PrayIncessantly; 01/10/12 12:11 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
Ruikee, I heard this old radio show this morning, and thought it might be helpful for you: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=39Getting a wife who has checked out of the marriage involved again involves figuring out how to get the chance to deposit those love units. I'm concerned that the last chance you had was spent trying to get her to a retreat with you that would involve education about what both of you "should" be doing in the marriage. Do you see how that was a disrespectful judgment on your part? Since your wife's feeling is she doesn't want to be trapped with a controlling husband, eliminating anything that leads to that feeling is going to be key. Yes Markos, i understand totally where you are coming from. What i do want to know, in the same situation, what should i have done? W calls me up saying she wanted to reconcile, be obedient to God, boys need a father, miserable living with mother, tired of living with regrets. But i dont like you right now. I dont know what to do, do we see your pastor or mine? That is where i was at. I said God is working there is a retreat next weekend. it could be a place to start. I do see how that would be taken as a DR. What should i have done? Blessings
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
EDIT: Found it - March 9, 2007 Hey Pray, what were you looking for?
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
What should i have done?
Blessings You should have asked for the chance to start taking her out on regular dates. On dates, you can start depositing love units, which is what you have to do to turn this marriage around.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
What should i have done?
Blessings You should have asked for the chance to start taking her out on regular dates. On dates, you can start depositing love units, which is what you have to do to turn this marriage around. Ahhh, so back to what you said before, to occasionally ask, and if she says no, just say ok thanks and keep at it occasionally? Thanks again Markos, Blessings.
Last edited by Ruikee; 01/11/12 02:49 PM.
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Yes. Keep asking. Be persistent, but not annoying. Stay calm if she says no.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 150 |
Markos,
I have an opportunity soon. Its not much but it is an opportunity.
I made an appointment for our sons first dental appt. Unfortunately he is also showing signs of autism, and i made an appointment for tests as well.
First she was angry and lashed out at me saying i never do anything right etc. Then a few days later she texted me thanking me for making the appointments and she would be able to attend, but next time check with me.
So Tuesday, as of today, she is going to our sons dental appointment with us.
Strategies?
Me 44
Wife 43
Married 10 Years
D final 4/12
S 3
SS 15
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (1 invisible),
683
guests, and
50
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
