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Dude, you seriously need to grow a pair. Need to hear some clang-clang out of you. You are letting her just flat out run all over you, and what do you in response? Sit in a corner and pout like  You know where this is headed!! Why in God's name are you taking it lying down? Grow a pair and FIGHT for your family! What do you have to lose with full nuclear exposure at this point?? Absofreakinlutely nothing! But you WILL earn some respect for yourself and from your kids. Hey, you might even get lucky and earn some respect from your WW for standing up and fighting to protect HER family! Have you even CONSIDERED that??? And I can guarantee you...she doesn't respect you now. Not one little bit! Go back, re-read your thread, and DO what these people have told you to do from the beginning. Sheez
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Giraffe, call the Aunt TOO. Ask her to call your wife and use her influence to persuade her to end this affair. You need EVERY FAMILY MEMBER TO CALL HER TODAY. Your sons, her father, her mother, friends.
Stop just doing a little exposure so you can say you checked the box.
Don't do another trickle exposure. GO LARGE OR GO HOME!!
Where does the OM work?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Giraffe, why will you not act? I am trying to understand why you won't act.
Why do you REFUSE to do anything?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Giraffe, call the Aunt TOO. Ask her to call your wife and use her influence to persuade her to end this affair. You need EVERY FAMILY MEMBER TO CALL HER TODAY. Your sons, her father, her mother, friends.
Stop just doing a little exposure so you can say you checked the box.
Don't do another trickle exposure. GO LARGE OR GO HOME!!
Where does the OM work?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Giraffe,
Did you and your sons go on a family vacation without her ?? If so, what reason did she give for staying home ALONE ?? gulp. no, we are all together. We confronted her on the last day. I found out the day before that they were talking from a different phone just after Christmas. Mel, I truly didn't mean any disrespect to you, I just don't understand why all you want to do is attack. I have tried and it's as if you are really trying to point out that I didn't include her Aunt as part of the exposure. I truly feel my wife doesn't care at this point, and my kids feel the same way. She either doesn't care, or is truly in a fog, fantasy, etc.... but I have been very patient with her and have given her respect, certainly more than she deserves, and all I expect is mutal respect, fog or otherwise. If she wants him, hey, what can I really do? I can't control someone else's actions, can I?
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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That can be answered in two words...
Unmitigated Fear
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Okay Giraffe, well it doesn't sound good. I was just curious how you were doing, and hoping for the best.
Good luck to you.
PSMF
me: FWW/BW
Married 20 years, 4 kids
We made it.
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Gee, the house is already half-burned down, what can I do?
You can man up and defend what is yours. This is not just a house or piece of property, this is your wife and your life and you cannot just idly let someone in to STEAL IT!
Do you care about her? Do you love her at all?
Then expose. Grow a pair, man up, etc, and defend what is yours.
Otherwise, stop blogging about how unfair it is that your wife won't automatically come home on her own. Stop wondering why she continues to see OM and disrespect you.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Giraffe, why will you not act? I am trying to understand why you won't act.
Why do you REFUSE to do anything? Seriously? So telling my kids, telling OM wife, telling her Mom.... that's doing nothing? Again, you think telling her Aunt or her Father that lives several states away and left her Mom when she was 2 is the missing link here? You really think they will have more of an impact than her own children. I exposed on Dec 8.... and again with my kids in front of her last Friday. She just says the same thing that it's over. Maybe it is, she hasn't repied to hsi emails. But I really don't think that telling her Aunt or Dad is what's missing. Come on, you can't truly believe that either of them have a bigger impact than her own kids. And if so, I can't say I am interested in her if her kids mean that little to her.
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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Everyone who can be effective must be exposed to. It sounds to me like you just don't want to bother with trying to contact them.
Contact them! Expose to them!
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Gee, the house is already half-burned down, what can I do?
You can man up and defend what is yours. This is not just a house or piece of property, this is your wife and your life and you cannot just idly let someone in to STEAL IT!
Do you care about her? Do you love her at all?
Then expose. Grow a pair, man up, etc, and defend what is yours.
Otherwise, stop blogging about how unfair it is that your wife won't automatically come home on her own. Stop wondering why she continues to see OM and disrespect you. What are YOU talking about.... have you even read anything or do you just have a cut and paste answer for everyone? I exposed on 12/8, and again last Friday. The issue here is I didn't tell her aunt or her dad and you're thinkiing that means more to her than her kids, OM wife and her Mom.... come on.
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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I've read plenty, and have noticed that your exposure was lackluster.
I should have said, "re-exposure," I apologize.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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The issue here is I didn't tell her aunt or her dad Tell them already.
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Everyone who can be effective must be exposed to. It sounds to me like you just don't want to bother with trying to contact them.
Contact them! Expose to them! I may tell FIL but only because I feel she is also using him as a source of money and it could cut that out for her. But again, as for the exposure, if any of them have a bigger impact than her own children then how much does she really care about me or her boys anyway?
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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Giraffe, is she still living with you in your home ??????
From what I've read and re-read, I can't figure out if she is there all the time, or some of the time ?
Can you clarify ?
Thanks.
me: FWW/BW
Married 20 years, 4 kids
We made it.
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The kids can be separated, in her mind. They'll 'be fine if I continue like this. Everything will be fine!'
But if someone who has more influence with her--someone in a position to benefit her, mind, exposure to them's more likely to work.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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The issue here is I didn't tell her aunt or her dad Tell them already. Thanks Pepper.... I might call her Dad but only because I feel she is using him for money and it could take that away from her. But I can't process her not being concerned about her own children. sorry if that's how she feels I am done with her. And I know my kids have already asked me why I would want to give her anymore chances anyway. And I said because I love her, and my oldest said well it doesn't appear she cares.
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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[her I fail to see how talking to her Aunt is going to be what takes her away from OM So you have the vision, clarity of thought and experience in saving marriages to dismiss the opinions of others - WHO HAVE SAVED THEIR MARRIAGES - because you "fail to see?" Do you have that kind of vision? I see the opportunities, and you fail to see them. Who has a successful track and who doesn't?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Giraffe, is she still living with you in your home ??????
From what I've read and re-read, I can't figure out if she is there all the time, or some of the time ?
Can you clarify ?
Thanks. Sorry, I can understand why that is confusing.... we're all confused by that  Yes, she is still there. She left in September, came back in August, and has said a few times she is leaving but then changes her mind and wants to stay.
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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