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now that I know OW last name, I was able to find all her phone numbers (the report could not give me anything, I guess the numbers were not public). So now I have her house, cel and work number.
Should I call? Now?
Last edited by estrela; 01/04/12 09:46 PM.
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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I was doing some more snooping on his computer and now that I know OW last name, I was able to find all her phone numbers (the report could not give me anything, I guess the numbers were not public). So now I have her house, cel and work number.
Should I call? Now? DOES SHE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE? Go see if you can find her facebook page and come back here.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I already tried. No FB, no phone or address listed.
This girl has some history to have this need to hide.
WH (if you can believe anything he says) said she has psychological issues.
Apparently she has a fiancee or boyfriend.
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Posts: 452
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I am cross-referencing other people with the last name and trying to find her in their friends list. Maybe she is just not using her real name...
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Apparently she has a fiancee or boyfriend. How do you know that? Does he live with her? I would call her up - but disguise your number using *67 - and tell her you know all about the affair now and ask her to give her side of it. Tell her there is no future for her with your husband because she would be eternally hated by your children and your husbands parents and family members. Tell her also you have contacted an attorny and will be filing on grounds of adultery. As such, she will be subpoenaed into court to give sworn testimony under oath about her adultery. If a MAN answers, first tell him about the affair and then ask to speak to her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Chit - I think I found her under another last name. Looks like her (not sure, saw her only once and I was far). Anyway, her information is not shared... I doubt she will friend me 
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
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WH told me OW had a fiancee when I asked him not to play tennis with her anymore. Then, when I asked again, he lied telling me they were not playing together.
Now he said there is nothing going on, that OW has a boyfriend and she has psycho problems. don't know if any of this is true.
WH is back home. I will call tomorrow when I can do it out of the house.
Is it best to call in the evening to get her home or try her cell?
This feels so embarrassing and such a waste of energy and time. I have WH for that!
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Chit - I think I found her under another last name. Looks like her (not sure, saw her only once and I was far). Anyway, her information is not shared... I doubt she will friend me Are you SURE it is her? And where did you see her?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WH told me OW had a fiancee when I asked him not to play tennis with her anymore. Then, when I asked again, he lied telling me they were not playing together.
Now he said there is nothing going on, that OW has a boyfriend and she has psycho problems. don't know if any of this is true.
WH is back home. I will call tomorrow when I can do it out of the house.
Is it best to call in the evening to get her home or try her cell?
This feels so embarrassing and such a waste of energy and time. I have WH for that! I would try tonight to call the landline and see if a man answers. You can still call tonight even though your H is home, can't you? Can you go into another room and shut the door? I would try calling the landline FIRST and see if you get a man. If she answers, I would have that discussion with her. Then you can expect her to start calling your H on his cell phone while he is right there with you. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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That's what I was trying to avoid!
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
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WH told me OW had a fiancee when I asked him not to play tennis with her anymore. Then, when I asked again, he lied telling me they were not playing together.
Now he said there is nothing going on, that OW has a boyfriend and she has psycho problems. don't know if any of this is true.
WH is back home. I will call tomorrow when I can do it out of the house.
Is it best to call in the evening to get her home or try her cell?
This feels so embarrassing and such a waste of energy and time. I have WH for that! I would try tonight to call the landline and see if a man answers. You can still call tonight even though your H is home, can't you? Can you go into another room and shut the door? I would try calling the landline FIRST and see if you get a man. If she answers, I would have that discussion with her. Then you can expect her to start calling your H on his cell phone while he is right there with you. Genius. Remember, don't engage a wayward. "I will not accept a marriage where my husband commits adultery, would you like a cookie?"
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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That's what I was trying to avoid! It would be AWESOME to have that skank calling him up screaming while you are right there!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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That's what I was trying to avoid! It would be AWESOME to have that skank calling him up screaming while you are right there! Thats what happened to me. Its no problem at all.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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You girls are something.
Back on the old MB days, they told me I was never suppose to contact OW!
Anyway, I called, her phone does not accept *67, so I called from my cell.
She did not pick up, just her s-tpd voice on the vm. It was a relief in a way. I will try her cell and landline tomorrow again.
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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You girls are something.
Back on the old MB days, they told me I was never suppose to contact OW!
Anyway, I called, her phone does not accept *67, so I called from my cell.
She did not pick up, just her s-tpd voice on the vm. It was a relief in a way. I will try her cell and landline tomorrow again. Ok, then why not try and call her landline without the *67 and see if she picks up?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I called her landline from my phone. She did not pick up.
Update - this morning WH came angrily complaining that I am not behaving (!!!), I am acting crazy (!!!) and that I should stop calling people (OW and OW's mother - so the crazy witch was her mother after all - I guess the psychological problems run in the fmaily).
He said that he will be leaving sooon and that will be over, and what do I want doing this, just because some crazy book told me to do it, and this is not the way to solve things. Oh, and he already told me nothing is going on, so what do I care?
I kept calm, even some guilty pleasure of finally seeing him loosing his cool over the whole thing.
Then he said he won't be in the call today with Steve Harley.
It looks like it's over?
Last edited by estrela; 01/04/12 09:49 AM.
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 452 |
And I thought about Scotty and said (really, I could not believe I was saying this) - I am just trying to save our marriage, do you want coffee?
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
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Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Update - this morning WH came angrily complaining that I am not behaving (!!!), I am acting crazy (!!!) Estrela. This is not crazy at all. Of course you are going to confront the person who is assaulting your marriage behind your back. Then he said he won't be in the call today with Steve Harley.
It looks like it's over? Don't cancel that call! Keep fighting. Your are doing great. Your M can recover from anger...it cannot recover with a third person in it. Hang in there.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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And I thought about Scotty and said (really, I could not believe I was saying this) - I am just trying to save our marriage, do you want coffee? Oh I am not worried about you at all. You will do just fine.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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