I have ordered Surviving an Affair. It's on its way, but I need to ask: My wife started lying to me a couple months ago, and said she had to work late, and instead was going out with her friends, getting extremely drunk, and staying away over night. I caught her in this lie, and found out it wasn't her girlfriends she was going out with, but that she was having an affair with a co-worker. When confronted, she said she only slept with him once, about a month before, and that was to get me to divorce her. She said she's been miserable for years. I'd been having medical problems for quite a while, and was probably not the easiest person to get along with. She said she regretted the affair, but I'm sure its still going on. She has since moved out with our 2 children to her parents house, and has been cordial, but cold to me. She will not talk to me, and her parents are no help. I've explained to her i forgive her for the affair, I just want us to get help and work on our marriage. I love her with all my heart. Probably more now than ever. She has not filed any papers, and said she doesn't plan on it any time soon. We've been together for 20 years, married for 12 and have 2 children. My questions are: How do I get her to leave her lover, understand I want to work it out, and how do I get her to forgive me for something that wasn't exactly my fault. I know she still cares, or she'd have filed for divorce a long time ago. Thanks for any help!
