Would he be willing to take a poly to prove this to you? I know that personally I would jump at the chance to prove my honesty... because I have nothing to hide.

Estrela, you did great!!

Now, did you call the OW and tell her what I told you? What time is your appt with Steve?

I will propose a poly if he keeps insisting that nothing happened. I saw enough to know they've been going out for a while, and that they spent at least one night together. I cannot be 100% sure of what they've been doing, but I really don't care. If he does not agree to my MB requirements, I will not stay in the M, even if I still love WH so much (some of the time, and some of the time I just hate him).
By the time I left home, he was more relaxed, and I think he will be in the call today. He said he will on the call "if I promise to behave" (meaning not calling OW anymore). It hurts that he is so protective of her, and could not care less about my feelings, about hurting our kids. When I told the kids about the A, and he knew I did, he had no reaction other than looking at me sideways. Now getting close to OW is another story. "It's crazy, nobody does that". Really!!!

estrela, you don't need him on the call.

If your husband is serious about recovering the marriage, he will be on the call no matter what. He is not serious about your marriage, he just wants to protect the OW.

I would call the OW NOW and have a chat with her. He is just using that to manipulate you into not bothering her. PLEASE call her up and don't allow her to play him.

Call his bluff!! Call the OW and if he refuses to get on the call with Steve, just say "I knew you weren't serious anyway." He is just trying to trick you into not interfering in his affair.

Call OW when you can. His little threats make it even more important that you do.

Good luck on your call with Steve.



Its very typical - straight out the wayward handbook. I did call the OW too. I also exposed her on facebook and sent a copy of her muchy text to her dead h's bf to her parents. This is where she threatened to sue me. I laughed my [censored] off at that one.

Cue my h running around town telling eveyone I was crazy to protect her reputation.

Strangely enough though, people believed me.

ITs q possible estrela he has told her many lies about you. Make that call.

Ditto

I think this desrves a spot in "the craziest things to come out of a Wayward's piehole"

here

Oh, those silly waywards. So he wants you to 'behave', does he?

I know, and from there things just got "better".
I was waiting for the call, Steve Harley was 20mn late, and I knew WH would used it as an excuse to bail out.
So it happen. I had the call by myself, and run the whole situation by SH. He explained to me how his behaviour is of an addict, and that explains how he can lie to my face like that.
He was supportive of Plan B if WH does not accept to come clean and start counseling.
So I tried once more and it was a waste of energy, hope and time. He is dying to get out, I think. But still "looking for an apartment". I asked if he called the realtor and he said no, what I am going to tell her? Really! He is worried with what the realtor thinks!
He left at 7pm, told me he would look for an apartment with a friend in *edit* (OW's town). Seriously! I told him I know she lives there. After he left, I called his friend, and he knew nothing of this. I told him what's going on. He told me he will call WH and try to talk to him. Good, that will make him happy!
I send WH a text message explaining that he has not carte blanche for an A. The separation is because I cannot take his lies and disrespect anymore.
OW will not pick up my calls, but I am drafting an e-mail to send (cc'ing him). For sure I will put the bit of getting her on the witness stand.
I hate what he is doing to me. I am not this person that he is making me. I just need him out ASAP!

Est, glad the little tidbit of advice helped. It was given to me, and I paid it forward. Glad that it helped.

How did the phone calls go?

Sorry I was watching TV an posting.

I think you are handling yourself with pure grace. Just make sure you don't commit any LBs and you'll do GREAT. Keep it up.

I called the realtor now and asked for her help. She will look for something tomorrow and give us a call.
This WH is so useless.

I wouldn't have done that for him, but that's just me. You don't WANT him to leave your marriage, you just can't live with him while he is continuing his adultery, KWIM? I guess you are calling his bluff a little here?

I don't know anymore what I am doing. Maybe it was not a good idea... I will keep quiet now.
It just looks he is not really trying to leave (just hanging out with OW). Or maybe I got scared that he will get an apartment next to OW's and want to avoid that...

It would certainly seem he is, but YOU are not. Proud of your strength through this extremely difficult time.

Thank you, TW!

You didn't do anything too bad, don't beat yourself up. I just think that he would get mixed messages from that.

And where he goes after you enter Plan B is none of your concern. I KNEW that my WH would move IN with OW when I asked him to leave. That was the only place he had to go. I still asked him to go, because him staying was KILLING me.

Estrela my dear, you have been SO STRONG!! I am so proud of you! You are telling your husband that you are WORTH being treated well and will not settle for less. You are a strong, brave woman!

One thing I would suggest is that you send out emails to his parents and family members. Can you do that? It would be wonderful if you get their help. They might not be able to get through to him, but it would sure give him second thoughts! Here is a sample letter that you could use. Just change the details to match your situation - BE SURE AND GIVE THE NAME OF THE OW SO THEY WILL KNOW SHE IS A SKANK: