Happy Holloween. This evening I went with my W and kids to here families house. They always get together for every holiday. she has a big fam. I don't. I had a great time being with her and the kids, but today they picked names for Christmas. You can probably guess what happened. Her Aunt asked if they were going to put my name in the hat my W said no. I was across the room, but I saw the conversation. <P>After we got back to her house and put the kids to bed. She asked if it hurt me abut what happened. I told her yes. we talked only a little about this, but had a good conversation for about a hour after that.<P>I asked her if she missed us together at all and she did say that she dfoes miss the company though. This is good. I feel that you all are right if I give this time all the puzzel pieces will come together.<P>thanks for the support.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

I am trying to figure out how to get around even having the holidays. Figured out Thanksgiving but I think I will be stuck when it comes to Christmas. The only thing I hope for is that all of our Thanksgivings and Christmases hit him in the face. Maybe we need the Christmas Spirits from the Christmas Carol to visit our spouses. <BR>But seriously even with that set back I think you are making baby steps forward. Hang in there.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

I think Christmas will be the tough one. W's birthday is 15 Nov and I will probably do the normal things. We will probably still be together on T-giving, so I can do that normal stuff also. However, she will probably be gone by Christmas. Unfortunately, she can compartmentalize and the holidays will be pretty much OK for her. I'm going to die.....

SDS, thanks for the reply. I also think things are commin along good I suppose. What is wierd for me is that she asked me if I wanted to go with them to her aunts. I will be out of town for thanksgiving. I go hunting with my uncle every year. Chrismas will be diffrent. If things are like they are now she may ask me to go with her than too. I hope<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

Brownphd - You're not the only one. Every year we have always had BOTH families at our home for Thanksgiving. Well, of course, H's family is now out, one of their daughters is planning it now. And my mother says, "Well, what are you gonna do for Thanksgiving now that you don't have a "family" anymore???".<P>Sweet, huh?<P>We also throw a big party for friends and all family the weekend before Christmas. I think I'll miss that most of all. It's always such fun and really the time that most of us celebrate Christmas together.<P>Oh, well.......this DOES suck!<P>Lori

Thing have changed for thanks giving. I will not be out of town after all. I told her this last night. She looked at my son and said I guess daddy will have to go with us to nanna's. I think she really wants me to go or she just feels sorry for me who knows, but I will be there. Any minute I get with them I do. <P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

brownphd,<P>Things are sounding GOOD for you right now. I am keeping my fingers crossed!<P>Lori,<P>I can't BELIEVE your Mom said that to you. I am sure she didn't mean tobe so insensitive -what a bummer!<P>When my H left a second time 1 1/2 weeks ago, I told my sister things were not going well between us. She said, " Well you know you have always been the lucky one - lived a charmed life and had it so much better than the rest of us. You have never had any real rough times and not it's your turn. So shut up and just take it like the rest of us have been doing." Now, my sister is REALLY the most loving person and truly a great friend to me. She has had a lot of tragedy and bad luck. I know she didn't mean to sound so AWFUL, but this cut me tp the core. Every other time, she has been 100% supportive of me except this one time.<P>Point is, our loved ones are human too and insensitive sometimes.<P>Roll Me Away

roll me away: what do you mean what my mom said?<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

Sorry for the confusion, that was to Lostva, aka Lori. I was responding to her post right above mine.<P>Roll Me Away