Hi Im 21 yr old male. I met the love of my life at age 18 she was only 17 and got married one year later. oure marriage has been a roller coaster trough out the entire time (Break up to make up) well it seems like we love and hate each other.
the big problem started when I took on a new job. so after about 4months of neglecting my wife and taking her for granted i decided to move out and end our relationship over a stupid argument. I made her cry and broke her heart when i left. trough out the 4 months that i was neglecting my wife i had begun to use drugs ( methamphetamine). The drug changed everything about me, i had no emotions and started isolating my self from everyone anyways about 3 weeks later i stopped doing meth for about 1week and thats when reality kicked in and realized how much i love her and need her. i would call and she would tell me that she hates me and to not call her.
So after about 2 months of begging her to give me another chance she took me back but she wasn't the same anymore.she told me that she didn't love me anymore, that she wasn't attracted to me anymore. them she told me that she only felt bad for me and that was the only reason why she took me back.
so now its been about a good month and a half that I have been clean off drugs and been back with my wife but nothing has changed in her. shes still cold and tells me that she cares for me allot but doesn't love me. she doesn't want to kiss me or have sex at all. I went back to my original self the loving and caring husband i use 2 be but it just seems like were just friends she isnt attracted to me at all and shows no emotions towards me.
I fear that I have lost my soul mate and the love of my life. i dont know what to do anymore to make her love me again.

Sorry if i don't make sense Please just understand what i mean, i cant think str8
Thankyou

What treatment have you been through for your drug addiction?

There was no treatment i stopped cold turkey the day my wife took me back. I also confessed to her about my drug addiction and the reason i acted the way i did. she acted like she didn't care. Idk what to think??

Have you read the basic concepts on this site? They explain why your wife does not care, and introduce what you will need to start doing in order to change that.

You've acted in a shameful way that has prevented your wife from having any security in life. Your drug addiction makes a relationship with you extremely dangerous, which means that she can't fall in love with you, unless you change your life in such a way that you can never use drugs again. It is dangerous for her to care for a drug abuser.

I read somewhere that if your spouse says that they don't love you any longer they are in love with someone else. Do you think your wife is having an affair? I strongly recommend you start checking and make sure this is not the case before you blame yourself.

trough out this whole time i feel like shes hidding something from me. the first couple of days that we got back together she would get verry mad when i would get her phone she wouldnt even let me make a call, she would tell me to stop being phyco just trust me. I asked her if she dated other people when we were seperated or talked to any other guy that it was ok aslong as were honest she would get mad and tell me NO to stop being phyco. Im also restricted on her facebook account so i cant see sertain things on there.

There was a night when she was sleeping and i wanted to get intamid with her so i kissed her in her sleep and she started kissing me back real passionately we had sex for about 2min when she opend her eys she told me to stop and that she didnt want to do anything anymore and layed in her bed sad.

so for the last couple of days our relationship has been goin good were getting along and we kiss but there is still no sex. i asked her why she dosent and she just tells me that she dosent feel like doin it that she things there something wrong with her because she gets horny but dosent want to do anything.

im respecting her choice but im very confuse and i have changed back to the sweet guy i use 2 be and im just my self again
i would like to hear of what you think of my relationship
thankyou

1) The first thing you have to do is make sure you are a worthy husband. You have broken her trust. How can you get her to trust you?
A) Drug addiction: It is great that you have stopped cold turkey. But the fact that you even began using Meth says something about you. How can she trust you won't go back? You should go to something like Narcotics Anonymous to show your commitment to staying drug free and to have support in doing that. Make sure you don't hang around any drug using friends.
Do you have someone that you are accountable to?
B) Don't move out if you have another argument.
C) Make sure you have and maintain a job.

2) If she can trust you, you still need to be a good husband. Read the articles about Emotional Need and about Love Busters.

3) I have to say, it does sound like she may be having an affair.
But for her to give up the other guy (if there is one), you have to make sure you are that "sweet guy" for more than a month and a half. You need to regain her trust and be someone she would want to be with. It is going to take a lot of work on your part.


Think about it, if you had a 19 year old daughter and she married someone who did Meth, would you tell her to get out as fast as she can? You have to be a stand up guy if you want her to have any interest in you. Perhaps you need to talk to her parents and confess what you have done and let them know your plan going forward.