For me love is really blind because when I got married I am a battered wife and I keep loving my husband because I strong believe that my husband really change and I don't want that my children belong to the broken family... In this case is it ok that I have to give chance to myself that I am going to be strong for the sake of my family or I am going to give up for my own happiness?

Lovestation, if you are an abuse victim you need to get out of your current situation. Do you need help getting away from your husband and his abuse?

You are on the wrong forum.
I suggest you make a call to the Harley's radio program with this question.
They will be happy to help you.

Your thread title makes me wonder about your maturity level:


Is love abusive?

Why are you here, Lovestation? How can we help you?

He won't change unless drastic steps are taken to change him. I understand loving a spouse who is not loving back, but your health and life are in danger if you stay. Also, it is not love to let him continue in this behavior. Can you go be with family or friends? A women's shelter?

CV

I think you should call a local Womens Shelter or the Police Department for help if you are being physically abused. They have programs to help you.
Love doesn't have anything to do with physical abuse.

Dr. Harley's articles to help you are here:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5505_qa.html

Read the following sections:

"Controling husband (#1 & #2)," "Angry Outbursts (#1, #2)", "Domestic Violence (#1, #2, #3)," "Abusive Marriage (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6)."

Please read them ALL (even the ones that may not apply directly, they are still chock full of information that will help you, and then give Dr. Harley a call.

In this way I was able to express what I feel. Even I want to shout this to him, he will never understands. I want to seek advice to everyone especially to those who experienced same situation . I know, somewhere can enlighten me.

Thank you everyone...

Lovestations

Did you get a chance to read any of the articles posted to you?

Physical, verbal. or mental abuse have no part in love and are the direct opposite.

Do you need help leaving your situation?

nESRE

If your children grow up seeing you tolerate abuse there is a good chance they will also tolerate it in their adult lives.

Is that what you want to teach your children?

nESRE

lovestaions-

I am writing to you as someone who has had a sister and a best friend (since high school more than 30 years ago) who have both experienced domestic violence in their marriages. One has recovered her M, one has finally filed for D.

In both cases, I have supported them. My friend has recovered her M. But what it took was for her to be willing to say "I'm done." It took a long time. It took her oldest son intervening in one of their arguments where he got physical for her to realize that she wasn't protecting her kids from the DV. But, she still wasn't ready to walk. She enrolled in a course for battered women that met at the local police station. When she was waiting, the receptionist asked her what she was doing there. Well, since she wasn't court ordered to be there, she said "I'm here for the women's group but I'm not sure if I should be because no charges were filed." The receptionist asked: "Did he use violence against you?" My dear friend cannot lie so she was honest.

"Yes. But there were no charges filed..." That's when the receptionist interrupted: "What makes you so special? He broke the law, charges or no charges. It's not about you."

And that's when she realized that it really wasn't about her.

There is a verse in the Old Testament that lots of people like to quote in situations like these, especially the abuser. It is Malachi 2:16. It is actually written to men, because in the Old Testament only men could file for divorce, and by the time of Malachi, they were abusing it. Most people only quote the first part of it, but I'm going to include all of it:

"I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I abhor a man covering himself with violence..."

I hope this helps in some way...