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Viper #2584737 01/13/12 09:18 AM
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Originally Posted by TigerWes
I'll check it out. I read some, but not a whole lot about her...uh, plight. But this would explain the WHY she came back here part of it.

For some reason, her username doesn't show her threads when i search... RRRR


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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Originally Posted by TigerWes
I'll check it out. I read some, but not a whole lot about her...uh, plight. But this would explain the WHY she came back here part of it.

For some reason, her username doesn't show her threads when i search... RRRR

Here ya go! I posted one of her threads earlier where she called out and chastised a board member for daring to call her a "WS." http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...;Main=66161&Number=706705#Post706705


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Originally Posted by TigerWes
I'll check it out. I read some, but not a whole lot about her...uh, plight. But this would explain the WHY she came back here part of it.

For some reason, her username doesn't show her threads when i search... RRRR

Here ya go! I posted one of her threads earlier where she called out and chastised a board member for daring to call her a "WS." http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...;Main=66161&Number=706705#Post706705

Mel, thanks so much!

You know what's disappointing? You probably know already, but here, I'll toss it out anyway...

She wrote in that thread:

I had an emotional affair.

I ended my emotional affair and tried to work things out with my husband.

I left my abusive husband.

I found out he was having an emotional affair and details of how they were going to meet and make it physical. Perhaps they did.

I started dating before the divorce was final.

If you want to call me a WS because of it, that's fine.

There were a LOT of times I could have had a physical affair and didn't. I'm not looking for a pat on the back for that.


Not a dag burned thing has changed in over a decade. She has obviously read the material, but reading and understanding/adopting it are two VERY different things...

The question is, will she really desire to change this time or not.

Hmmm...
CV


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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Here ya go! I posted one of her threads earlier where she called out and chastised a board member for daring to call her a "WS." http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...;Main=66161&Number=706705#Post706705

Mel, thanks so much!

You know what's disappointing? You probably know already, but here, I'll toss it out anyway...

The fun never ends... Just ran across this on the old thread too:

" I don't believe I've ever told someone to have an EA, that there is nothing wrong with it, that it's a good thing, etc. It was devastating to my XH when he found out, and hurt me and the OM/friend when I ended it."

Isn't this the same reason she doesn't want to really expose now? Her friend/om doesn't need to be exposed and hurt...

It's like a skipping record.

CV


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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
[q
Not a dag burned thing has changed in over a decade. She has obviously read the material, but reading and understanding/adopting it are two VERY different things...

The question is, will she really desire to change this time or not.

Amazing how the story is exactly the same, isn't it?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by celticvoyager
[q
Not a dag burned thing has changed in over a decade. She has obviously read the material, but reading and understanding/adopting it are two VERY different things...

The question is, will she really desire to change this time or not.

Amazing how the story is exactly the same, isn't it?

It's so darned sad. Really. I'd love for her to square away this thing with the moderators if she hasn't already and get some real help here. It's the exact same script, just new supporting actors (husbands and OM). I am curious if this H was the OM from the first M... This has ear-marks of an affairage to me.

cv


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Or perhaps the OM is the same one as before and exposing would possibly kill any efforts to resume same sleazy behaviour when the mood strikes in the future?


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Viper #2584758 01/13/12 10:03 AM
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Originally Posted by TigerWes
Or perhaps the OM is the same one as before and exposing would possibly kill any efforts to resume same sleazy behaviour when the mood strikes in the future?

My suspicion is that her current H is the OM in her last marriage. And that she concocted the "abuse" and infidelity story to justify dumping him for the OM. Of course, she will never tell us the truth because lying is appropriate to her. She has already lied to us on this thread. This is a way of life with her.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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I'd love for her to square away this thing with the moderators if she hasn't already and get some real help here.
I'm not sure what you mean by this, CV. What do the moderators need to help her with? I think she's been getting some pretty good advice from our members.


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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
This has ear-marks of an affairage to me.

cv

AGREE. However, I don't know how to help an affairage or help someone who doesn't want help.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Viper #2584765 01/13/12 10:09 AM
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That was really enlightening ML

Thanks for posting the previous threread link.

I didn't quite understand why MB vets were so infuriated with this poster. Now it's clearer.




BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

Scotland #2584767 01/13/12 10:10 AM
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I guess I can see where there might be some small utility in leaving this thread be, but not for me. I'm a big-time novice and want to "pay forward" the help I've received here. I need to focus what little help I can provide on those who want help.

This poster seems to believe that leaving emotional destruction in her wake is just a natural consequence of relationships. It probably is for her.

For the lurkers that may find utility in this thread: as cold and crass as it may sound: the knowledge that women like this poster are loosed upon an unsuspecting dating pool was, at least, a moderate consideration in my decision to reconcile with my RBFWW (rapidly-becoming FWW). Think about it.

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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Quote
I'd love for her to square away this thing with the moderators if she hasn't already and get some real help here.
I'm not sure what you mean by this, CV. What do the moderators need to help her with? I think she's been getting some pretty good advice from our members.

Isn't there a note for the mods for her to square away an abuse of TOS? I thought this may be why she hasn't continued to post... I'm probably wrong...

CV


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by celticvoyager
This has ear-marks of an affairage to me.

cv

AGREE. However, I don't know how to help an affairage or help someone who doesn't want help.

I agree with Dr H that recovering an Affairage is almost impossible because of the conditions that set the M.

Grace and I have tried to help a couple that we found out was a 10 year affairage. They didn't want help, just justification. One day I may post some of the things that went on in that marriage... Like a combination of several of the threads here... OM beating up BH, kidnapping her kids and getting arrested, excommunicated from their church, smashing cars, physically fighting with each other, forced/coerced sex with each other, hiding phones and emails, lying...

And they define themselves as happy...

Chances are much slimmer with affairages I believe.


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Wow. first time I ever read a thread that old.

When "the princess" was here before, the place was just a big ol' Rodney King "c-can't we all just get along?", slobber-swappin', pickin' out curtains, kum-ba-yah-fest. Wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings for destroying the lives of those they vowed to protect. That would be mean.

Sad, really.

The class-level of the users on this forum has really picked up.

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Originally Posted by OldWarHorse
Wow. first time I ever read a thread that old.

When "the princess" was here before, the place was just a big ol' Rodney King "c-can't we all just get along?", slobber-swappin', pickin' out curtains, kum-ba-yah-fest. Wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings for destroying the lives of those they vowed to protect. That would be mean.

Sad, really.

The class-level of the users on this forum has really picked up.

Yeah. It's nice to see the old-timers who have stayed around and see how they've grown and matured too.

On another note, we do accept monetary donations for anyone who wants to "pay forward" wink


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Isn't there a note for the mods for her to square away an abuse of TOS? I thought this may be why she hasn't continued to post... I'm probably wrong...
Hmmm, I don't think so, but I may have missed it. The mods usually don't get involved in the discussion unless someone stops playing nice and violates TOS. I don't think this poster violated TOS, but again, I could be wrong. I've been known to be wrong on the extremely rare occasion. grin

I suspect she has stopped posting because of the overwhelming case that has been made about her attitude toward her affair and her disregard for her husband.


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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
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Isn't there a note for the mods for her to square away an abuse of TOS? I thought this may be why she hasn't continued to post... I'm probably wrong...
Hmmm, I don't think so, but I may have missed it. The mods usually don't get involved in the discussion unless someone stops playing nice and violates TOS. I don't think this poster violated TOS, but again, I could be wrong. I've been known to be wrong on the extremely rare occasion. grin

I suspect she has stopped posting because of the overwhelming case that has been made about her attitude toward her affair and her disregard for her husband.

Midway down on page 9. She stopped posting shortly after I think. I'm probably reading waaaay too much into it though'


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Midway down on page 9. She stopped posting shortly after I think. I'm probably reading waaaay too much into it though'
Lemme go scope it out...be right back...


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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
[

Chances are much slimmer with affairages I believe.

Did you know that Dr Harley states he has NEVER found a way to turn one around? NEVER.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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