Does this mean they dont know? Kids over the eage of four must be exposed to in an age appropriate way.

You dont name call or go into detail, you just say that daddy ahs a girlfriend and married people should not have boyfriends and girlfriends. You will need to explain that is why you will not be talking to him when in Plan B. They also need to know whats going on, and be able to tell you if they witnessed anything weird during the A.

I also had problems finding an Intermediary (IM);
Do you belong to a church?

You mentioned earlier that you desired to grow spiritually; joining a local church may be a good way to reach that goal.
Fortunately, I was able to find an IM through a local church elder; he was very willing to perform this role.

Some MB members find IM's from out of state; the IM is really just a spam filter, to deliver 2 messages (all other messages get deleted and never reach your ears):

*I am willing to end the affair and work on our marriage
OR
*child issues

I think you are doing really good at taking care of yourself; definitely start exercising. Take care of yourself, so that every time he sees your beautiful, fit body, your happy smile and warm conversation he will want you.

Also, like you, I am on the divorce train. I know how hard it is to love someone and have to let them go. Remember, affairs are addictive; your husband is an addict. He is probably having sex and partying with other girls now.

I've learned from Al-Anon that we CANNOT control the actions of others; we CANNOT force them to change.
We CAN change ourselves.

You DID hold your husband accountable for his actions, and that was a very loving (tough love) thing to do. I'm doing the same with my wife.

We love our spouses, and I am committed to fighting for my marriage until the judge signs the paperwork.

But WE must remember that our self worth does not come from the actions of our spouses. We are children of God and God wants us to live the abundant life; not a life as slaves or victims of our spouses self destructive actions.