Nope clothes don't make the man, but wearing certain things can have an effect on you which gives you a better sense of self, and that shines through every time.

Just like smiling while talking on a phone. The person can't see the smile, but they sure can hear it.

I don't understand people watching UFC, but that's a debate for another day.

Yeah. Leaner couldn't make it out of the 1st rd. One of the guys I was watching with called it. And Leaner says he's done now.

Anyways, I'm sitting here listening to some music, going they my closet and purging some stuff. Got a pretty good pile so far. Out with the old. In with the new.

I'm so excited. Tomorrow I meet with a couple from my church in hopes of helping them "Survive an Affair". She is the ws and had actually left but she called asking to come back and was with him today at church. I'm so looking forward to it. I'm just hoping she is willing to put in the work. They are a young couple (married 3 yrs I think) so if I can help them learn some things about marriage and how to meet each others needs, my own divorce will not be without its own rewards. I CAN'T WAIT. Wish me luck...

How about blessing from God instead?

You'll do good Mark

CV

Just an expression, CV, but ITA....

I just left the counseling session with the couple I mentioned yesterday. It went GREAT! Our session lasted about the 1 1/2 hours and many things were discussed: how affairs start, the love bank, love busters, emotional needs, the 4 rules, etc.

They both were open and honest and expressed a desire to do what's necessary to create the marriage they desire. Neither disagreed that they made many withdrawals and few deposits to the love bank. Neither made the other solely responsible for the "state of affairs" (no pun intended). It was a good session.

I'm going to be giving them both SAA and HNHN. I showed them MB.com and told them to submerge themselves in the information there. I pray that they received the info, which it seemed they did.

I attend church with them so following up and continuing to assist them in recovery will not be an issue. I'm SOOO happy that I can use my situation to help someone else!

Well, I've been getting tons of compliments on my new look. My 8 yr old daughter even said something yesterday. The change has been a good one and well over due.

Oh man!!! I just had a thought!!! Did you get a toupe'???

JOKE! JOKE!!

CV

That's funny, wise guy....

Just wanted to give you all an update:

I made another major decision yesterday and just quit my 9-5 job. I'd been contemplating it for a long time. Something happened yesterday that told me enough was enough. I am making some changes and that one was overdue.

I informed my part-time employer that I will most likely be changing my availability to move to full-time and they were totally okay with it. I just decided I could no longer go to work every morning and hate it.

And when I say I quit, I mean I just walked out. And I felt good doing it and totally at peace. I woke up this morning not dreading what was going to happen over the course of the next 9 hours.

I'm not gonna rush moving to full-time at my other job just yet, though. I make a comparable amount there only part-time. I'm just gonna enjoy a little free time and see where things go for the next couple of weeks.

AND THE JOURNEY CONTINUES ....

I'd say enjoy your time! You can always remain part-time and volunteer for overtime...

KR, that is actually a good idea. I can actually keep things the way they are and just pick up additional hours because they are always available.

Well, its been a pretty good week for me without the stress that came with the old job. The manager from my part-time job pretty much told me I shouldn't change my status. She's gonna schedule me additional evening hours and I can pickup some daytime shifts as needed (I'm a waiter at a nice resteraunt making the same as my old job with half the hours). I thought that was a good idea.

I've been feeling good with my new look. Been getting a lot more compliments and comments. I'm getting ready to go to the movies now BY MYSELF. It feels funny to say but it doesn't bother me. I don't have to have someone with me to enjoy myself. I'll probably stop and play a game or two of pool before it starts. Its not the normal Friday night but its my Friday night.

I've got another session with the couple I've been helping tomorrow so we'll see how that goes.

Life is really, as they say, what you make it.

You sound more at peace than ever. Keep it up.

Playing pool and movie by yourself sounds like a fine Friday night.

Good job.

I actually decided to just shoot pool. I'm enjoying it, too. I used to play almost every day because I was in a league and had a table at home. I'll just catch a movie on another night.

At peace? I feel pretty good about things. Having not seen or spoken to my ww (outside of the to court appearances) in 7 months has made a huge difference. It hasn't changed the fact that I still love her, though. I just have to love from afar. That's okay. I can't change her. That is something that God is going to have to do.

I know it doesn't change things in the still love her department, but it sure helps the personal recovery not to have to deal with the WS all the time. I can't even imagine what my life would have been like if I didn't follow the MB Plans, and more specifically Plan B. Actually I can imagine some scenarios and they make me SHUDDER.

I don't wish that anyone had a necessity for PB, but when they do need it, I wish they would use it.

Your posts just seem more even keeled. I wanted to point it out to you so you could see how far you have come.

Have you looked back at your own thread and read the beginning? I have gone back on my own once, and it was shocking how far I had come in such a short time. I think you will find the same.

Hi. I have been on your website for the past couple of days. Its a very helpful website. I have been going through this nightmare with my husband of 13 years. We got married very young I was 18 and he was 19 years old. Had our first child at the age of 19 (me) him 20 years old.

He first cheated on me when my son was about 3 years old. He was on drugs back then when this happened. I filed for divorce because he said he my have found "the one" I was devastated , the affair went on for about 1 month or so then he begged me not to leave him. So we reconciled. Since then we grew up got our life in order after struggles.

Had 2 more kids. Nov 2009, he told me that he was confused and didn't know if he wanted to married anymore, that he wanted to find himself blah blah blah... so i put him out thinking he was needed to get away to clear his head. But come to find out he was messing around with his female co worker, and a 18 year old hooters waitress.

He ended things with his co worker saying he was gong to work things out with me and ended up in a relationship with this 18 year girl. He was 31 at the time. I literally wanted to die. It was so painful. The whole time he was in this relationship with this 18 year old. he would text, call, email me..even tried to sleep with him (which i made the mistake of doing) only for him to be with this 18 year old girl the very next day.

I filed for divorce after this event. Again he didn't want to divorce, we ended up "working things out" he moved back in. Then i felt another shift (come to find out he was talking to this girl still) so i kicked him out. He went on for about 1 month. Then begged me to be with him again. We ended up getting back together. things were good for awhile, then he started going out a lot, got a DWI, was on steroids. and i felt this shift once again.

I was dealing with my best friends mom passing away losing her battle with cancer. and while i was grieving he AGAIN had some bartender lined up. He didn't come home one night so i went through his phone records and called all the numbers i didn't recognized and sure enough a female answers the phone after me blowing up her phone literally prob close to 50 calls.

Make long story short I had his stuff packed and had it outside for him to pick up. We got into nasty arguments. While i was in so much pain he was messing around with this girl. While i was taking care of children he was totally Missing in action. Doing what he wanted to do. Enjoying life with this new girl doing drugs, drinking, going on trips etc etc. I kicked him out mid April of 2011. We are now in Jan 2012.

During this time of separation, he would sent me emails how sorry he was, texting me almost every other day telling me he was miserable etc. Up until about 3 weeks ago. I bought into his story. Come to find out he is still with this girl. met her family for the holidays. She has met his parents. They practically live together. I found all this out for myself via FACEBOOK. I filed for divorce in AUGUST 2011. I am so hurt. I am lost. I am raising the kids alone. He has the kids 1 month for about 7 hours.My oldest and middle child hates being around him


I have all boys. What am i to do?? Do you think my husband and this girl will have a lasting relationship? They've been "dating" for going on 9 months now? how can this be?? I am angry. I know i need to let go but its like my obsession. I wake up thinking about them and go to sleep thinking about them. He was messing with my mind this whole 8 months until i threw in the No contact and told him all that i knew that he was doing. i told him that it really hurt me. I am lost what do i do???? please help me.

NOte:I am new here. I am not sure how to create my own thread?? Sorry i am post all this here.

i now know how to create my own thread. Sorry for putting this on your thread..sorry guys!

(tried to move this post but couldnt)

So I spent a little time reading many of my past posts. Yes, I think I've come a long way. I still have a ways to go, though.

Its hard to believe I.haven't spoken to my wife (I still call her that)was in 7his months and I'm actually okay with it. I guess the consolation is that she's not the woman I fell in love with and planned on growing old with. The person that looks like my wife is so different. This person I would never even want as a friend.

I've said it before but I don't think the woman I fell in love with is gone. She's MIA. And since she's missing, she can return. I just can't control whether she does or not.

I will continue to move forward. I will continue to simply do what's necessary for me. I still have a life to live. If the person I fell in love with ever returns, we'll see what happens. BUT as long as she's MIA, I will be, too.

Wow, this sums up exactly what I think about Gollum. Sometimes I try to explain this to certain RL friends, but people just don't seem to understand. Most think I am crazy for still believing it possible my WH may return. I know he may not, but I can't yet give up on him. Thanks for making me feel understood rather than weird!

Your posting updates in Plan B is valuable. From my reading MB doesn't seem to have many BH's who continue to do this... I think you are a valuable poster and I will continue to follow your progress...