This forum helped me through my divorce 10 years ago. I was divorced, met a guy I knew in High School, and married him 2 years ago. I couldn't find my phone last night, so I borrowed his (he was sleeping) to call my phone so I could find it. Well, after the bitter previous divorce, of course how could I not be curious. I looked at his texts, and I read the 1st one. It was from a woman. They apparently had been meeting. I checked the phone log, and they had been calling each other quite a bit. She says she can't wait until the time when they can be together everyday, but says she is afraid it may never happen. He told her he was getting into the shower, and how he wished she was there with him. After going through this before, I was very calm, and have not said a word to him. I am going to check his texts again tonight while he is sleeping. I don't know when I should confront him. Should I wait and see what else happens? Advice please!

Zoey

Zoey,what was your previous user name? Don't confront him yet. Your instincts are right not to say a word to him yet. Read the link below, IMPORTANT!

click here.

Welcome back to MB, Zoey. Good job, maintaining your composure! That had to be tough.

Who is this woman? Do you know her? Do they work together?

Hi Princess Meggy and Marital bliss,
My username I think, was ckh5941...I have used so many usernames on different cites, that I really can't remember. I believe this must be a woman that he knew in the town he lived in before we married, according to the phone area code. She lives in another town. He has made a few trips back there for "business" in the past few weeks. Ugh, this is sounding just like my first marriage (20 years and 3 children). All of my children are grown and out of the house now, so I don't have that to worry about. The first divorce was ugly, which makes me wonder if I even want to take the effort to save this marriage.

Thank you SO SO much for your quick responses. I don't know if I believe in the exposure theory. THe first time around just made it a HORRIBLE nightmare.

Also....I just spoke to my brother, who is a marriage counselor. He says to go ahead and talk to him about it. I really want to wait and gather more evidence. DH is gone right now and I have gone through his office and can't find a thing. He is very careful, I guess.

Exposure is scary, but it does work. So many examples of how well it works. Weekends are slow here, stick around the vets will be here soon.

Good job keeping your composure. Deep breaths.

If you expose without more evidence he will deny, deny, and deny. You need to have massive exposure so you can get to the root of the problem and fix it. It sounds like there are needs not being met. Also, this is a long distance affair, install a key logger on his computer now!

He has his own personal laptop so there is not a way I can get ino his computer. Wish I could somehow get his texts sent to my email somehow. I don't know what else to do.

Depending on what kind of phone he has, you can install spyware on it that will send you the texts. eblaster [spectorsoft.com] works for android and blackberry's and flexispy [flexispy.com] works for all other. I would also get a keylogger on his computer. Eblaster also makes a keylogger for computers.

I agree with the others, that you should get your spyware in place FIRST before you confront or he will just go further underground. And you will also need that intel in order to expose the affair.

If you can get your hands on his phone for a few minutes, you can forward those texts to your phone or email. Just make sure you delete the forwarding info from his phone.

The only problem I found with forwarding texts to my email is that my email program just displays the text - not the phone number it came from. You may be better of sending them to your own phone.

You need to get spyware on that phone, chop-chop.

ok...because there's no way I can get on his computer. He has a password lock.
Let me try he spyware

ahhhhh $349 !!!????

What kind of phone does he have? Eblaster is only $65 and there are much cheaper versions of flexispy.

I used mobile-spy.com for the phone, but you'll need to install it at night while he is sleeping to ensure that it works.

You also need to get access to his laptop, make up a reason that you need to use it and watch him log on......do anything you need to do to get access! Install that key logger, it's sounds like it's his primary means of communicating with his partner in adultery.

Internalpain, can you go make a post about this on this thread in the Operation Investigate forum? thanks! http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2472117#Post2472117

Done, no problem!

awesome! thanks!