I have no problem with what the police man told Edsway. Wanna know why? Cheaters are all the same. When you have seen one, you have seen 500. After you watch them day in and day out for years you pretty much can predict what they will do.

Ok this is gonna be a little class act time,was bored just milling around decided to clean house,did dishes,vacuumed,made beds,all that stuff.
Bathroom garbage cans overfilled,dumped the kids can first,went to the master bedroom began to dump that trash and at the bottom,what do you think i found?
Yup,well i believe you guys thought it was a condom,nooo,WW panties,i questioned myself as to what the heck is she throwing those out for,why not just wash them,i was doing laundry anyway,so in my curiosity i pull them out of the can with a pen,like CSI style,didnt have any rubber gloves at the time,so as i begin to unravel,well there was soil or shall i say semen stains...im sorry i know this isnt the forum for this,but i need to vent as i went ballistic,good thing no-one was home...i know it wasnt me,as i havent been with her in awhile...i know whats going,yet i have so much proof and she still denies it...why not just tell the damn truth,"yes Ed,i am not in love you,i love someone else,it has been going on for a year" etc etc...why cant she just come clean? why lie about? i just dont get this at all?

Ed, get the panties tested. You can get a kit. She isn't being up front, because she is trying to clean you out. Amicable is not what she want. Your property and money is what she wants.

You can test them. Here is the link for checkmate: http://www.getcheckmate.com/

Seconding the recommendation for CheckMate.

Preserve all your evidence. You should dump your VAR off to CD periodically and store the backups offsite somewhere safe. Check the backup before deleting anything off the VAR. Electronics are susceptible to immersion, heat, and kinetic shock - all of which waywards are known to use in an effort to cover their tracks.

Make electronic copies of the phone/chat/email logs if you can and store them off site as well. Multiple copies in different places are better. Your lawyer might be a good place to store a set.

edsway, I know you have your hands full right now, but if you have a moment could you please start a quick thread in Operation Investigate and tell folks how to install a VAR and where to buy it?

**edit**

Edsway, long-term lurker, short-term poster here....I have been following your story and it actually recreates the sick/gnawing feeling in my gut that I had during the roller coaster ride. My story has some similarities to yours, especially with regards to the family that turns their back on you. If I had cheated on my wife, my family would have DISOWNED me without a doubt. I just don't understand and never will....and I too (during the evidence gathering phase) have searched the trash with work gloves and a cartridge respirator and found emergency contraception...yuck..

Is there any possibility she could be pregnant?

Anyways, keep your head up, you seem like a good person and you are exactly where you need to be with the vets on this forum.

Folks, if you EVER want a lesson on how to nuke an affair, read THIS man's experience. Melody, you should add a link to his extremely unfortunate adventure on your Exposure 101 thread. That was epic.

drscott,

It good to have a little venting time,so tom2010 gave me that,my story is a bit vivid maybe not as elaborate as some on here,but it is the truth,i could go into great detail as i have though about this for what seems like everyday/everynight,I loved that woman,i love those kids as my own,and i only feel now that i have been cast away,this isnt my first relationship that has gone this way,i am not perfect in any way,but i do have a heart,the only thing i can think of is i havent really met a soul mate...or is it just me who is unable to build a strong foundation...time will tell.
Thank you for following along,drscott,for me this has been the most intense ride i have ever been on,nothing has come close,as i have had this done to me in a previous relationship,that was a wild one too,then again i wasnt married to her.
Answer your question,sorry for rambling, she is not pregnant she is protected,but: she has asked me many times that she would like to have another baby,if i could reach deep inside her mind,i feel thats one of the reasons she is doing this,as i did not want to have another child,i felt the 2 i had were good enough for me as i could pour all i have into them.Well as you know..that didnt work..

please excuse my typing tonight,my laptop is gone so i am on the the computer with the funky ergonomic keyboard:WW came by when i was at the lawyers,grabbed laptop and suitcases..clothes still here,i believe she will come by tomorrow when im at work to get stuff out of house...

To you all up to date: met with lawyer this AM,told him the whole story,hehe,said he heard it all before {thought is was the only one},he stated that the police officer is type A personality they are trained to think the worst in any given situation,said he is not trained in family law..ok,i give him that,my divorce is cut and dry,nothing to it...but,this is something i didnt know about,he stated since i have been a father to the kids for that long of a period,AZ law has a provision,it stated that they were so young when i came into their life that under that law i can be considered the father,although the are not of blood nor adopted,he told me i can if i wanted attempt to have custody,he said if WW is not of right mind etc,i can attempt to have full custody..and it is legal,really interesting..he also stated he doubted she has put an OP,as she would have to have overwhelming proof of abuse,he stated yelling at her or at the kids {which i dont,i just raise my voice}does not constitute abuse,also he stated her actions are extremely immature,we went into detail,but i think you guys get the point,i can outline the detail in another thread.

Got a call from a close friend,WW is over at his house with the kids talking to his wife,he had to leave to do some work,he said he'd call me later tonight to get the scoop..OM was not with her.
I will post what i find out..

Sounds good,im on it,will post on Operation Investigate,all i can do is try to help.

Thank you!

Just a quick update:
Friend called this AM,WW had gone over to his house to talk to wife,he will talk to his wife today to get some info,told me WW had spent the night there with the kids,she was to see a Lawyer today at noon,he told me WW will leave for Washington tonight for 2 weeks,remember IL's live there,so,why not stay with OM? why take off to WA? friend told me she got 2 weeks off of work to settle the mind..hmmm,did my little plan completely destroy her master plan?

I would file an immediate motion to keep her from taking the kids out of state. Call your lawyer ASAP.

The plan is to move away to your ILs, file for D there, and then force you to fight a long distance custody battle.

File something showing that you object to the kids being moved out of state and request protection from this.

Even if she comes back, you will record an official objection to her moving the kids out of state.

But you may not have any rights on this matter since the kids aren't yours.

Ok, I'm a little bit slow lately so I beg your pardon in advance. So she has two children from a previous marriage and one child with you...correct?

When was the last time you saw your biological child?

I don't think he has a biological child.

A little update.WW contacted via text.noticed car gone and few belongings.asked if I was moving and when also asked about the lawyer I saw yesterday.told her I wasn't leaving anytime soon and lawyer went good.she then texted me again asking if I can leave and stay somewhere else.as her funds are running out and she can't keep up.I told her to bring the kids home and she can stay but she is not to have OM near or in house.I haven't heard a reply. So..I ask u guys were is OM? Can't she stay with him? Can't he help her with funds? Why has she not stayed with him?

You're staying, too, right?

I'll hazard a few guesses: OM is living with his mommy, and can't have her and the kids there. OR she doesn't want to have the kids around him and screw up the 'romantic' atmosphere with kids. She's not going to ask him to help financially because she doesn't want him to realize he bedding a woman with no money, dragging a bunch of kids around with her. None of those things would lend an air of romance, would it.

But stay on track, Ed. Tell her you will not be leaving YOUR house. And don't finance the affair, either. Buying food for the kids, yes. Buying clothing for the kids, yes. Money for her to go spend the evening somewhere to have a little 'space' - NO.

Don't worry about where OM is and why she can't stay with him. Just try to get those children back into the house, and DON'T leave.