<BR>I need to go in to my H.'s old office to drop off some insurance paperwork.<P>I'm inclined to stick my head into her office to see if she wants to talk some more. We had a long phone chat two months ago, and have 'bumped into' each other once, also. She looked like a deer in the headlights. <P>I don't want to torment her, but I do have a few things that I'd like to get off my chest:<P>Such as,<P>1. I still have copies of all the emails that detail her affair with the other other man. (I'm not stuttering, she had two affairs going at once.) <P>2. I'd like to find a way to communicate that she is safe from me as long as my marriage is safe from her.<P>3. If I find out she has moved on to any of my friends husbands, she's fair game. My h. worked there for several years, and I truly like and respect many of the other guys wives. I don't want her feeling up their husbands when they work late with her.<P><BR>Am I just having delusions of power or would any of you take the opportunity to speak to the OW? She is not a stranger to me, but we've never been close. She claims that she believed our marriage was over and that she never intended to hurt me. Sound familiar?<P>

Attway, Liz! Yeah! Give her a good talking-to. But stay in control and don't lose your temper. Then, when you're through, just turn around and walk out, without saying goodbye. R & B,<P>--Wex

Wex--I didn't go upstairs to her office today.<P>It just wasn't the right time.<P>I bought a plant for my h.'s new office and dropped it off at lunchtime. (Hoping he'd ask me to lunch). He was in a meeting and called me later with a "wow, thanks".<P>I just wasn't in a *****y, controlling mood.<P>Another day...<P>LIZ<P>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P><BR>

Moving this up 'cause I want to hear from "the night shift".<P>Thanks, I'll read it tomorrow.<P>What do you think folks?<P>My h. says leave it alone, she is yesterday's news. I said, ok, she is, but I still have a couple things to say to her.<P>He won't get mad if I see her, I think he is afraid she'll upset me.<P>Well?<P>LIZZIE<P>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P><BR>

Hi Liz,<P>Just my opinion, but I say let her stay in the past. Everytime you contact her, it lets her into your life a little bit. You want to erase her, not let her back in.<P>--andy

Liz,<P>Here's your late shift I ran into the OM at the store a few weeks ago totally unexpected. It was the first time I'd seen him since discovery. (Former acquantinces SP) All this time I'd thought about what I'd do to him when we ran into each other. When it happened, I realized that it wasn't important, that my W and I were the important things. However, if it helps you to confront OW...get her!!!

I think you DO want to torment her...just a little bit. <P>Personally, I see nothing wrong with your motives, as long as you conduct yourself like a lady AND realize something she says MIGHT upset you. Sounds like you can handle it though and you have your H's support and love.<P>I think you'll get through this with flying colors! Your healing process is well underway, being able to walk away without HAVING to do or say something.

Dear Liz Smith:<BR>Hi, I did lurk to see what you are up to, so, here's my opinion. You have talked to her before (2 months ago) and got things off your chest. Right? Well, I would say just leave it alone and go on with making your marriage work with your husband. Unless, she is still trying to pursue your husband in some way. As far as the other husbands are concerned, let those wifes take care of their husbands. You really should not involve yourself anymore with this women. I know how you feel though. You still have things that you want to get off your chest. Only if you really feel you need to and it's bugging you and you keep thinking about it then go get it off your chest...but, only if you can't sleep and your dwelling from obsessive thoughts about telling her what is on your mind. I would not give her the time of day anymore. I do know how you feel and when something is really bugging me, I have to get it off my chest. When I do that, then it's over for me and I can move on because I have expressed myself. So, I gave you two different answers. One is much better than the other (to let it go) but like I said, if you really need to get it off your chest because it's consuming your mind, then do it. You'll feel better. But, do it in a manner where your not yelling at her. I wish you luck. I don't know what you mean by D99, for me to read. If you ever need to talk then feel free to e-mail me..ocwbooks@home.com. Your friend, Katya

Liz, listen to Andy-he's making sense. The more contact you have with her the more intense YOUR relationship with her gets. If you want to really end what happened in your life you have to cut it off and not let it affect how your mind is now.<BR> I know, I know, easier said than done but if you only knew how much you sounded like me 8 months ago then you would know that I am speaking from experience. Let it go, it's only infecting your current thought process. It's time to move on and be greatful for what you do have now, instead of angry over what she ATTEMPTED to take from you. People on this board told me this and I am just passing on the good advice! God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>

Katya, you found it.<P>Thanks all for the encouragement. I'm using a public computer so I have to be quick.<P>LIZZIE<P>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P><BR>

Our attitudes toward the OP are a direct reflection of what is going on inside ourselves. We must forgive them completely to find our own strength. Otherwise, we feel weak inside and we act out of that. <P>Forgiveness is the only thing that will help you. Suffering of one kind or the other is the alternative until this is understood. The initial shock of it all is understandable and normal, but we can adjust and replace the hurt and anger with forgiveness and love. Do they deserve our forgiveness? NO! But neither do we deserve to be forgiven by God for what we have done against Him. Nevertheless, He put our sins on His only begotten Son so that we could have a relationship with Him free from the recrimination that is a result of having done wrong. God is not remembering our sins and holding them against us and so we need to learn from that.<P>It's not doing you any good, but you can stay preoccupied with the wrong that was done to you if you want. Or you can receive God's forgiveness through Christ and become a vessel of that to others.<P>Giving love where it is undeserved and giving it over and over again is where the action is!!!

Up for JJM<P>Pearl<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>