Not long ago there was a huge incident where life changed forever. And though this ... Where's Mr Wondering? Of course he decided that the time wasn't right to write poetry. So he decided to never again write any poetry.
Instead he went to see a one eyed proctologist (aka Dr. Hardnose, a Goldfinger wannabe who had a nervous eye twitch and long fingers), Dr. Anal Fissure!
"Go ahead, laugh," sputtered the detective as he looked into Mr. Wondering's large cavernous nostrils and shouted, "Eureka! THERE"S my gun!" But was it a gun or a fossilized nugget of crystallized sugar? "Oh, that's gross."
Marley was dead, skewered by four.
To begin with, the killer roamed -- Scrooge was next.
"Y'all are strange..." He whispered nefariously.
And who's Marley?
Scrooge's former partner.
Now a ghost. Or is he?
When suddenly the clock struck midnight!shots rang out, a door slammed, the maid screamed!
Earlier that evening, suspected international vampire, Count Vladimir Bitemoften, and Wondering's brother, Spanky the clown, stopped for tea, then started again talking about the mysterious bloody shoelaces, discovered quite unexpectedly in Wondering's possession, behind his ear tied in a rather unique knot. "Clever!" he thinks, as he hides his bloodied stump over there behind his electric tricycle.
The detective got the maid's number and called her thinking it might lead to some interesting discoveries about the dreaded pupsockett or was that�
Yes it was. Has to be. It certainly looked similar to the one who said "BA HUM BAH!"
Scratch that one. Sigh, if only.
Meanwhile, at the reptilian egg hatchery, reptiles were dying 'Twas frightening, but not surprising ta'll.
One egg survived and it said, "I need shrubbery to hide from the abominable snowman and his gang of clever snowflakes, which were green, the truth seekers??? Yes, truth seekers.
This green gang wore their colors and followed their instincts to find something not surprising but very interesting. Everyone around was just naval gazing while looking through their sad estates. Then, suddenly out of nowhere came the Lone Ranger! with flags flying! Then he shouted "Whistle up my men and save my dear granny". That's when he stopped short of belching up pickled sugar-crusted nose hair, which then began a series of coughs and gags.
After the coughing, the Ranger lit the biggest doobie and sat back while he watched strawberry fields forever.
Famished from munchies, he began to look for pizza.
The truth seekers circled their wagons around granny then she whipped out a stockinged leg and stilleto clogs, and said, "Hey! Where is Waldo?" He's right there, but he ran to Santa's workshop to get a pair of skates that were made of peppermint candy, and sang "Melodylane"...
Then, out came Tonto, complete with a rhinestone tiara and buckled shoes. He then reached into his sporran to get his Pea shooter pistol and aim it yonder by the tacky and flashy woman in black. But what did the woman have that was special? A letter that she had the sparkle and dazzle of a rhino and a hippo but not a giraffe on a pogo stick doing the hokey pokey with reckless abandon.
Meanwhile, in Lapland, there was a snotty old bag full of snot. "That'sssss not funny" she grumbled nastily. with her horned owl sitting on her bald head. "I remember Marley before he became entangled in a reindeer-rustling scheme involving two cyborgs and the Enterprise!�
Somewhere, from behind, a dog barked! Ominously, the crone began to whine, picked her scab, and pulled down the attic ladder while humming the British National anthem. From the attic came a rustling sound like bees in the belfry, to the tune, presumed long forgotten, by all but Mr.Wondering and his troupe of travelling minstrels, who sang "Boobs A lot". They danced on thin ice covering the margarita pool reflecting bright moonlight and shooting stars. Marley hid himself in the chorus-line of dancing frogs and singing pigs wearing pink sequined thongs and pasties. Marley fit in his skimpy costume, the pink ruffly�
�well captian kirk,� he said abandondly. "It's a TROLL!" But Kirk wans't He phoned Enterprise on his cellophone, said goodnite to merly 0as I need to do now)
Meanwhile, Marley left, still slightly woozy from fighting trolls, and tried to play hockey on orange vodka jello with fava beans. Scoring on Reynolds he then skipped over the giant Web of lies that was wrapped around it all. The web reached a boiling point of liquid squishy soupy little things. He really hated reptilian egg hatcheries. The skuas feasted!
Then out came the most tangled excuse for a purple people eater never seen before. Then a rumble rang out across the night. Was it Scrooge, searching for his favorite liquor flavored candy? Or was it some kind of antler-wearing sky-diving thrill seeker with massive fuchsia green polka dot tennis shoes on one thousand tiny, manicured left feet?
