Spending time with each other. I don't mean sitting in the same room, but living together. For the past 3 days we've had breakfast together. We take the kid to school then return to sit and talk, connecting. At night the TV goes off early. The kid goes to bed and we spend the evening together. We talked about our day. Crawled into bed and laid their talking before nodding off.

The more time I spend with her the more I'm starting to love her again.

Keep in mind my book hasn't arrived yet so I'm going upon what I've read here.

About spending time together. How do so many of the posters here do it? How do you spend time with your spouse when you're posting 24/7?

It only appears that we're posting 24/7.

I have the luxury of having a job where I can post during down times.

You will notice that a lot of the heavier posters may post much lighter, or not at all, on weekends - that's when neither spouse has to work and they have more opportunities to spend UA time. Understand: your hours should not be lumped into one or two days, but should be spread out during the week. However, when the weekends roll around and Mr. Bliss and I have the opportunity for being together for entire days, we take it. Others do the same.

I will also post in the morning, after DH has left for work and before I leave for work.

Some posters are night owls who post in bed after their spouse has fallen asleep.

In other words, we fit it in.

Now, back to you: what are your wife's most important emotional needs? What are yours? Have the two of you gone through the most important EN's Questionnaire?

We did agree NOT to see a marriage counselor. It was discussed, I showed her articles here about how more of those end up in divorce.

For her: financial support, keeping attractive, honesty
for me: affection, attractive, recreation

The attractiveness is big because both of our parents had health issues. My folks have diabetes and aren't doing well (early 70s). Alcohol killed her father and her mother was bipolar and didn't take meds, she died right after we met. My wife is in decent shape, she exercises. I'm in ok shape but need to lose weight. We're not unattracted to each other. She likes the way I dress, I wish she'd wear more up to date clothing, she's stuck in whatever era her linen sack dresses are from. I'm not one to pick about makeup and stuff.

Financial support is important because she grew up poor and doesn't want to go through that. This isn't a huge issue though but it's always on her mind. She often doesn't want to go out to eat because she's worried to death about money. For me, things will work themselves out. I take on odd jobs when they're avaialble to put extra money in the bank.

Honesty is tough. She used to ask me stuff and I'd not tell her the truth because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Now I tell the truth but do so in a way that's nice w/o being candy coated or sarcastic. She's always been blunt with me.

Affection for me. I'd like more hugs or pecks on the cheek. I don't expect her to turn into mush when I walk in the door. I grew up in a family where there is no effection, I'm not sure what normal affection is. My folks were never close and I was never tight with my mom.

Recreation for me. We have some activities that we like doing together, like hikding. My take on it is if the weather is nice and you want to go, GO. Don't need anything fancy, some shoes, snacks and water. A walk through the woods is good. Gives you time to talk and catch up. She wants to be in shape for it, whereas I think the activity puts you into shape.