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Joined: Nov 2011
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I thought I would ask what divorce books otherd have found helpful?
I just picked up:
Caught in the Middle - Protecting the Children of High Conflict Divorce by Carla Garrity and Mitchel Baris
-and-
Divorce Sucks by Mary Jo Eustace.
After reading chapter 1 of Caught in the Middle, I think Plan B in divorce would definitely be good for me. The authors encourage co-parenting together but that's not something I can do. The authors do advocate NO conflict in front of children.
Anyone else have divorce book suggestions?
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Joined: Nov 2011
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The 1st chapter paints a terribel picture, a factual picture of divorce for children.
I have tried to tell my wife divorce will be devastating to our children; she disagrees and thinks they will benefit?
Well, this book is written by experts so I guess that's just more wayward thinking.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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After reading chapter 1 of Caught in the Middle, I think Plan B in divorce would definitely be good for me. The authors encourage co-parenting together but that's not something I can do. The authors do advocate NO conflict in front of children. HDW, parallel parenting is much better for divorcing couples. Rarely are divorces amicable, so co-parenting schemes just add to the stress. Here is a good thread about it: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2566139#Post2566139
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2011
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I read Divorce Remedy and Divorce Busting which really is pro-marriage and focuses on solutions to problems. I think it is a great premise...because everyone I know (with kids) that did get a divorce ends up with a mess...and wish they would of tried harder to make the marriage work. So, I am trying....
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I read Divorce Remedy and Divorce Busting which really is pro-marriage and focuses on solutions to problems. I think it is a great premise...because everyone I know (with kids) that did get a divorce ends up with a mess...and wish they would of tried harder to make the marriage work. So, I am trying.... I wish there was a way to get people who are considering divorce to read what life post divorce is like for kids.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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I read Divorce Remedy and Divorce Busting which really is pro-marriage and focuses on solutions to problems. I think it is a great premise...because everyone I know (with kids) that did get a divorce ends up with a mess...and wish they would of tried harder to make the marriage work. So, I am trying.... A much better book for saving the marriage is Surviving an Affair. We have helped many people from Divorce Busters save their marriages. DB has a terrible plan of action that is unlikely to save a marriage. IMO, following their plan is more likely to lead to divorce. They advocate keeping the affair secret, for example, which is a disasterous path. If you want to stay married your best bet is Marriage Builders, not divorce busters. And MB does not endorse DB. leanie, if you are trying to save your marriage, I would suggest you go start a thread on the Survivng an Affair forum or the MB101 forum and posters can help you do that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2010
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leanie, I agree with MelodyLane, most other marriage materials do not offer a real plan, just a flash of "insight" which gives you some unfounded optimism which might give you some steam that runs out in a month or so. Marriage Builders is based on behavior psychology, which means it teaches you how to change your behavior (the things you do) to have a better marriage. Other programs try to get you to just accept a crappy situation. They are usually founded on the premise that marriage is going to involve a lot of suffering. And frankly, that sucks and noone should have to live that way, because Dr. Harley has been studying GOOD marriages for more than forty years and teaching people how to change the things that need to be changed to have a GOOD marriage. Please, start your own thread and let us show you how Marriage Builders can help your situation. Also, check these articles out: How Dr. Harley Learned to Save MarriagesRomantic Love: Is It a Realistic Goal for Marital Therapy?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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The authors do advocate NO conflict in front of children. That would be great for the children, but if people could make that work, they usually would not be getting a divorce. So, yes, Plan B and parallel parenting are best in a situation where you can't get your spouse on board with saving the marriage.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Leanie,
I also agree with Melody.
Divorce Busters is started by a woman (very professionally qualified, don't get me wrong)....but I chose to go with MB.
I realized the problem was greater than something I could handle on my own.
I can't complain about my wife anymore.
I won't....MB helped me (through Plan A) realize that I CAN make a difference on how I act.....it has helped me be a better, more responsible person.
I don't know where my marriage will end.....right now itya in divorce court, but I do know that I can take the MB principles and apply them to other relationships in my life and I am thankful for that.
Oh, I should say that the Bible has also been the best book of encouragement, especially the Book Of Hosea (in Old Testamant)
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