This actually happened to a friend of mine recently. We were having a painting party one weekend and he decided (in his infinite wisdom) to tote his beer up on the 8 foot ladder with him to keep him company while he painted. Ladder next to end table, iphone on end table, friend seriously tipsy...you get the picture. Yep, the inevitable occurs. One little inebriated sway of the ladder and BAM...iphone is a dead soldier. Long-neck Bud Light did a swan dive with perfectly flawless execution. It was an Olympic grade 10.

If it can happen by accident with such precision, it can certainly happen accidentally on purpose!

Poop does, indeed, occur.

But maybe that stuff about getting past messages via iTunes will work as well.

Still may favorite bumper sticker of all time (worded a tad bit differently of course)


I obviously missed something here. I need to go back to the beginning of this saga and read some more.

His WW has a new iPhone and he's not sure how to install "helpful" software on it without jailbreaking it.

I had mentioned that some people have used iTunes to download the text message history from an iPhone. Whether it applies to the latest generation phones, I couldn't say, but it may be worth looking into.

Gotcha now. Well you certainly can't install anything on an iphone without jailbreaking it first right now, but I've read it's coming soon.

Had no idea about the iTunes avenue. That's a new one on me.

This is what I love about this board; collective intelligence to help the BS have the best info possible to give them the best chance to recover his/her marriage.

I'm living proof that going at it alone doesn't work.

I quite prefer the accidental knock off the table and step on it while picking it up.

Well, that works too if you want to be civil about it.

You two! I still have to keep an eye on you?? You KNOW you can kill a cell phone by dropping it into a sinkful of dishwater, correct! You HAVE been washing the dishes after dinner, right?? Right?? What's all this business about beer???

Sheesh, marital. Beer fixes everything, doncha know!

Oh, and, down here, we have dishwashing machines that do the work for us. Shoot, there's no need to even put my beer down to do the dishes!

It's curious that we keep having to educate you on the finer things in life. There must just be something about you folks of, shall we say, more northern latitudes.

Everyone,

"deceptivegirl" is my wife. I have to get to work so I will go into details later, but I got a confession last night, at least a partial confession. Please help her out.

I will check back later this evening, I will be without internet access all day.

Thank you all.

How did you get this confession? Did you confront her? Did you get any actual evidence yourself first?

And who told your WW about MB? That was a BIG mistake right now. Did she even say that she wanted to try to save your marriage? Now she will read everything that we post to you, and you won't be able to keep snooping. That was a GRAVE mistake.

After reading your WW's description of the affair, (texting and talking secretly for the last year), I find it hard to believe that this didn't go physical. Especially if she already knew this man pretty well and you live in the same area. Affairs typically escalate very quickly to a physical level and most wayward spouses will only admit to an EA up front.

I could be wrong....but I would make sure she knows that you need to know the whole truth of what happened and then tell her you will be setting an appointment for a polygraph to ensure she isn't hiding anything else.

I completely agree with SusieQ

The poly has already been seconded.

I will third it.

Most WS when told the date for polygraph test just before the date the WS suddenly opens up with the I remembers about the affair.

A polygraph is essential.

Yes! Add to the mix the fact that she has had opportunity (going out of town without her husband.) I was thinking that earlier. I would definitely suggest a polygraph. If she is as sincere as she sounds on her thread, she certainly would not object, yes?

I can�t find my last thread, I�m not sure what happened to it.

Anyway, I found it impossible to pretend like nothing was wrong, and it was driving me crazy, so yesterday evening I told my wife that I knew that she did something and I wanted her to confess. She asked me what I knew, and I refused to reveal the info that I had. As she wouldn�t confess to anything, I couldn�t live like that, and I said I wanted a divorce and left to a hotel (no bluff, I meant it). She found me through the credit card transaction, gave me a call a few hours later, and confessed the story she repeated here over the phone, with a little prodding. As she revealed more details than I had (more pictures sent, more information about what they were chatting about), I said I would be willing to try to save the marriage if she met a few conditions. Some of these were:
1) timeline of what happened
2) polygraph
3) reveal affair to sack-of-sh*ts wife
4) follow MB forum advice and program

I made it clear if I find any lying AT ALL, I am done. I cannot live like that; it�s simply not worth it to me.

She said she was willing to do all of these and anything else I asked, and seemed remorseful. So, I thought it was time to send her here.

So far she: 1) wrote the timeline 2) wrote a NC letter (should this be physical mail or email?), and 3) wrote a confession letter to the wife, and 4) has apparently participated in the forum.

Tonight we are discussing how to reveal to the wife. My preference is to contact her myself, as if I got a call/apology/whatever from the OM, it would infuriate me.

We plan to change all contact info; phone #, email, delete FB.

The remaining immediate needs that I see are to: 1) schedule a poly (I want her to do this), and 2) continue to participate in MB.

Please let me know if we are on the right track.

I greatly appreciate your help.

I agree with this 100%; the OMW doesn't want to hear from the perp. Much better to come from you. You did a beautiful job and I want to applaud you!

You're on the right track.

I second this.