For all of you doom and gloom sayers, it turns out that my wife , once again , was telling the whole truth, about the OM and drug use. There were no drugs in his system at all before they put him in the slammer. I got this from a VERY reliable source in Little Rock. AND he passed ALL of his mandatory testing while he worked with my wife.The policy of radical honesty is working wonders with both our communication and my trust issues. Her self-esteem has improved since our move to the Windy City, and her relationships with the girls are much better, than before. People who don't think that the Harley's are on to something, aren't paying attention. Our marriage is improving noticeably from week to week. Too bad that more people don't come here, before they have affairs. My wife, point blank , says that if she had found this site , the affair would never have happened.

I have no problem believing that.

Any chance of diverging your threads, MM? I think your success story is really remarkable, not just for you but for other posters to see what is possible.

I would like to start referring foggy folks over to your thread, and its easier for them to follow if all the info is in one place.

How is your wife doing with the guilt issues btw? You said that was causing a hiccup in POJA because she wasnt being assertive in what she wanted? I was wondering about it the other day.

I would still like to see her post on here. She hands down done the best 'just compensation' work I have seen on here.

Though I understand not everyone is into posting...

mirror, I haven't been an active participant in your thread (other than a kudos on the ring ceremony aboard the boat), but have followed your sitch from the beginning of your saga. You have done a great job in understanding your lack of fulfilling your wife"s needs, and your wife has been incredible in her efforts to right her wrong and fix this mess that you both created. Wife of mirror, if you're reading this, in spite of all that has happened, your hubby is a VERY lucky man, and YOU are one lucky woman as well!

Now, mirror, there's something that bothers me a little about what you wrote.....

I went back and read your previous thread about the perv and his crimes, and I didn't really see anything to promote the comment "doom and gloom sayer". Did I miss something? To just what are you referring?

The folks on this board have done nothing but try to help, and offer you the best advice possible (through their eyes and experiences) and you make a comment like that? The people here aren't here for the chuckles, but only to help you and your marriage. You may want to consider that before you go popping off at the ones that are trying to help you the most.

Personally, I would be insulted. If I'm wrong in saying this or your meaning, please feel free to correct me.

Bravo to you and your dear wife, mirrormirror!

I didn't really see anything to promote the comment "doom and gloom sayer".

I think MM was referring to me, as the most doubtful, or at least the most vocal in my doubts, that POSOM was "clean" during his affair with MM's WW.

Nothing today gives me more joy than being proved wrong in this matter!
(At least I didn't get "moderated" on that one! )

I have NO doubts about your sincerity in their recovery and a better marriage than before. I enjoy reading your words and your wisdom has done a lot to help me personally. Thank you for that.

I just find it a tad bit troubling that, of all the things he could be focusing on, he starts this thread directed at YOU (if this is indeed the case). Almost like he's more concerned with proving himself right than proving you wrong.

I know what I want to say, but I'll refrain until he responds to me at all, and say it to him directly.

I for one am proud of my 'doom and gloom' outlook these days. I dont take anything for granted and I verify everything. That does not mean to say I 'expect' the worst. I just check.

MM also it appears knows the importance of this, because he verified the truth re OMs drug use. He did not expect to find anything bad though - because of his wife's hard work in regaining his trust. So much so he got a bit defensive of her. Which I think is ok, she is a FWW, not a WW. I trust her too, and I have never even chatted to her on here





My 'doom and gloom' outlook on the drugs thing was that OM was quite clearly one of the worst kinds of scumbag. I was q certain that he used whatever force or trickery or abuse of power he can to get women and girls into bed. I leaned towards believing he was clean.

There are actual websites devoted to this kind of creature explaining how to stay clean yourself and get women hooked on drugs for sexual reasons.

I am THRILLED he got his comeuppance and that he cannot hurt anyone else.

But I also thought it was important for MM to verify all possibilities and I am glad he did.

MM, I have bumped your caught in the act thread for Bricks.

He has just found out that his wife's EA was actually PA and is just tormented by the fact.

Could you look in on him?

Hi, everyone. I just got thru a building inspection and am trying to catch up on my posts.

Tifer, you are making much more out of this comment than was intended. It was more of an "aside", to Neverguessed than any outright "diss". I value NG's advice too highly to be pissed by any disagreements we might have.

We share your joy !

Indie, my wife is doing much better now that we have moved, and are working on our new home. She has basically taken charge of the interior decor, as well as being the PERFECT secretary to me. Not only does she do every office task better than anyone I know, but she also frequently doesn't wear any underwear, which , of course means that we have frequent "break" times. LOL (She is looking over my shoulder , now)

I waqnt to thank you all, for the heads up about the OM and his possible drug use, and as you can see, I DID verify everything. You really don't want to know what my wife just called him. LOL

I will look in on "Bricks", in a few.

BTW, my wife just said that she doesn't feel qualified to post her opinions , just yet. She says that she hasn't done anything that a woman in love with her husband, wouldn't do for him, (which I disaagree with) She also says that I am be best man in the world (which I DO agree with)

Tell her we would welcome her here. She is one of the good guys.

Awwww. You two are so cute.

She has done the best repentence stuff ever seen on here, I would say, so even if she were just to blog I think it would help people still stuck in the mire.

She's qualified through experience.

Still we get to hear a lot of what she does through you, I guess.

Then I stand properly corrected, and happily so.

So glad to see you and your wife embracing the MB concepts and implementing them. And, for the record, your wife is uniquely qualified to post here. It would do her a world of good to help herself heal, and she has some seriously keen insights that could help a LOT of people here.

Mrs. mirrormirror, I can assure you; you will be embraced here. I promise you that!

Believe me, I have tried to convince her that her example would be a boon to other FWS' here, but you must understand that for her to have to be reminded of what she considers the worst time of her life, would be a constant trigger for her depression. She has told me to thank you all for your kind wishes and says that when we have rebuilt her self -image to the point that the affair is just a dim, unpleasant memory, she might come here and try to help others in her same situation.

That sounds smart. Recovery comes first. But no nonsense about her not being qualified! She is doing very well.