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Yes, they're probably not in. Wait and contact them tomorrow. I know the Sheriff's Dept doesn't handle it - I was hoping they could direct you to someone who does.
Call them first thing tomorrow. My goal is to make sure you follow through on this.
D-Day 2-10-2009
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Our son is 11 and our daughter is 5. I asked him about this as well yesterday if he wants me to tell the kids, and he said No. What do your children think is going on? Have they asked why there is tension/problems in the house? What are they being told?
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If you are having trouble with this, ask us. Got it. Thanks.
ME: WW
BRICKS: BH
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What do your children think is going on? Have they asked why there is tension/problems in the house? What are they being told? I think they can feel that something is going on. No, they are NOT asking any questions at all. I started to tell both of them actually..I said, Mommy did something really bad to you both of you and Dad and that we love you so much and that it's not your fault. I don't know how to say it that they can understand. But my husband said, No.
Last edited by verydeceptivegir; 01/29/12 11:54 AM.
ME: WW
BRICKS: BH
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Call them first thing tomorrow. My goal is to make sure you follow through on this. I will.
ME: WW
BRICKS: BH
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What do your children think is going on? Have they asked why there is tension/problems in the house? What are they being told? I think they can feel that something is going on. No, they are NOT asking any questions at all. I started to tell both of them actually..I said, Mommy did something really bad to you both of you and Dad and that we love you so much and that it's not your fault. I don't know how to say it that they can understand. But my husband said, No. How very sad. Kids blame themselves for marital tension problems and think the worst. What a mess.
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Hopefully when your h feels better you can both expose to them in a loving, age appropriate way. He prob needs to wrap his head around everything.
While you are waiting on the poly dg, you could write the NC letter. I will find you an example so you can write it and give it to Bricks, ok?
Though you write it, he mails it so he can be sure NC was done.
Of course he may not care about NC if he is divorcing you, but you owe him the choice of sending it by writing it out for him ASAP.
I hope your motivation is still storng today. Stay with it.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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While you are waiting on the poly dg, you could write the NC letter. I will find you an example so you can write it and give it to Bricks, ok? I did the NC letter few days ago and my husband mailed it already.
ME: WW
BRICKS: BH
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While you are waiting on the poly dg, you could write the NC letter. I will find you an example so you can write it and give it to Bricks, ok? I did the NC letter few days ago and my husband mailed it already. Oh good. When the poly is ready you will have two actions to your credit. Some great journeys began with just two steps. There are more to come. How is Bricks holding up today?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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How is Bricks holding up today? He is okay, this is what he says when I ask. He's sad. We just had lunch with the kids.
ME: WW
BRICKS: BH
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I said, Mommy did something really bad to you both of you and Dad and that we love you so much and that it's not your fault. I don't know how to say it that they can understand. But my husband said, No. Oh, dear. How scary that must have sounded for them.  I think the two of you need to explain this better to your children.
D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Certainly tell them what the bad thing was so they don't think up even worse stuff...
say "I was dating a man though I am married to Daddy. Married women should not date anyone but their husband. To do it, I had to keep secrets and lie to you all. That is wrong."
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Think about it this way. "Your father gave me something secret and precious, and I was careless with it and I broke it".
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Think about it this way. "Your father gave me something secret and precious, and I was careless with it and I broke it". No. I appreciate your thoughts, but I have to strongly disagree with this. This is saying nothing and will add to their confusion. I agree with Reading. Kids are very black and white. They won't understand this gauzy version of what has happened to them.
Last edited by maritalbliss; 01/29/12 07:37 PM. Reason: Crediting wrong poster, sorry Reading!
D-Day 2-10-2009
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Certainly tell them what the bad thing was so they don't think up even worse stuff...
say "I was dating a man though I am married to Daddy. Married women should not date anyone but their husband. To do it, I had to keep secrets and lie to you all. That is wrong." Thank you. I will let BRICKS know this. It's up to him at this point.
ME: WW
BRICKS: BH
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Think about it this way. "Your father gave me something secret and precious, and I was careless with it and I broke it". I will tell him this as well. Thank you.
ME: WW
BRICKS: BH
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This is saying nothing and will add to their confusion. I agree with Reading. Kids are very black and white. They won't understand this gauzy version of what has happened to them. I agree about this. They might ask me what that secret was. I was just going to tell them that I slept with another man but I feel like it's too much to handle. I emailed Harley to set up a telephone counseling this week. Is this too early? If BRICKS is still up for this, I want to do this.
ME: WW
BRICKS: BH
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I emailed Harley to set up a telephone counseling this week. Is this too early? If BRICKS is still up for this, I want to do this. Good move. NOW you're starting to mean business. Let us know when you're scheduled with Steve.
Last edited by maritalbliss; 01/29/12 08:39 PM.
D-Day 2-10-2009
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Good move. NOW you're starting to mean business. Let us know when you're scheduled with Steve. Thank you. I will let all of you know as soon as BRICKS decides and when I hear from Steve.
ME: WW
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Thank you. I will let all of you know as soon as BRICKS decides and when I hear from Steve. Schedule the appointment with Steve. Let us know when it is.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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