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I think my husband is cheating . I don't know for sure and I don't want to confront him yet.
What tell tale signs should I be looking for ?
He is always home on time. It's just other things seem different.
RJ
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I think my husband is cheating . I don't know for sure and I don't want to confront him yet.
What tell tale signs should I be looking for ?
He is always home on time. It's just other things seem different.
RJ What are the things that seem different? Sorry you are here, but welcome. How long have you been married? Any kids? CV
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2 grown up boys 21 and 23. He just seems distant. when he is home from work he tends to go out more than he used to, instead of being just an hour he is gone for 3 !
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2 grown up boys 21 and 23. He just seems distant. when he is home from work he tends to go out more than he used to, instead of being just an hour he is gone for 3 ! That's not a lot to go on. Does he tell you where he goes and what he does? Are you able to verify it at all? How is he with his phone? Does he keep it tucked away, or are you able to have access to it any time you want?
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Hi there and welcome, you have come to the right place for some support.....
I think for now you keep this site to yourself and any suspicions you have, and start to snoop to see where he goes when he is out.......
I would install at GPS tracking device or put a something on his phone to track his whereabouts and who he communicates with......
Check out the investigation forum, lots of advice and information, keep this to yourself, when you find out anything, come back here to talk about what your next step will be..........
Read all the info on the site and educate yourself a little, continue to be the best wife you can be.........stay calm as well.......
(hugs) we all know the sense of fear with this kind of thing.........
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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I'm sorry you find yourself here. This is the best place to be for what to do when you suspect your spouse is having an affair.
I found out that anytime I had gut feelings, they were right. So listen to them.
First of all, don't say anything to him...yet. Snoop. There's a lot of information in the "Operation Investigate" forum. The vets here can assist you with how to get info from his phone and from the computer. You need to find out exactly what's he's doing, even if you need to hire a PI.
Meanwhile, be as pleasant and loving as you can be. (The Carrot part of Plan A.) And don't say anything about this website. I recommend clearing your computer history every time you log out.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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Thanks for the replies. YES I do check his phone! he does not seem to be doing anything on there, this is what I don't understand, his computer and phone he always leaves open ! but like I say he is going out for longer periods these days .. where as last year it would only be 1hour now it's 3.. and he also seems different since this time.
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Thanks for the replies. YES I do check his phone! he does not seem to be doing anything on there, this is what I don't understand, his computer and phone he always leaves open ! but like I say he is going out for longer periods these days .. where as last year it would only be 1hour now it's 3.. and he also seems different since this time. Put a keylogger on his computer and GPS on his car. Eblaster is a good keylogger [spectorsoft.com] and zoombak is GPS that you can pick up at Radio Shack. Don't accuse. Just quietly snoop and come back here.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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would only be 1hour now it's 3.. and he also seems different since this time. ritajit. Sorry you are here. Always trust a gut feeling. My own FWH suddenly started to take three hours at the "gym" where it used to take one. Turned out he was sneaking over to OW house. I had a feeling that something wasn't right but didn't want to follow him because I wanted to trust him. I ignored my gut. I didn't want to be one of those jealous wives. That was a mistake. Do what you need to protect your marriage. Be smart and quietly verify what he is up to. Do not confront because if he is up to something then you will just alert him to be smarter in his deception. Verify and come back here if you find something. We can give you a plan to kill the A and recover your M if that is what you find.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Gut feeling, but so scared to find out what he is up to ! why after 20 years would he do this ?
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Stay focused ritaj. Find out what is going on. It's very easy with the tools that Melodaylane suggested.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Gut feeling, but so scared to find out what he is up to ! why after 20 years would he do this ? It may be that he is just exhibiting independent behavior. Either way, you need to do as mel suggested and find out. Not knowing is worse than knowing. CV
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You may want to put a VAR in his vehicle in case he is using a prepaid phone.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Rit, you need to snoop, and do NOT confront him with any evidence that you may find. Come here with anything that looks suspicious, and we'll tell you how to prepare.
As others have said, you should put keyloggers on his computer and spyware on his phone, as well as a GPS and VAR on the car.
Has his behaviour changed? Does he wear different clothes? Is he wearing cologne more often? Is he working out? Losing weight?
Have you read up about Plan A? If you feel him pulling away from you, you may want to start meeting ENs and losing your LBs while you are snooping.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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