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Indie, I'm not all that surprised that you are feeling this way. I also won't be surprised if some sort of down feeling comes along tomorrow, for a bit, but you'll get through it. SO, McD's all dressed up? That should be FUN. Make sure you take some pics, act a little silly. It'll be good on ya.  I find myself not all that saddened about tomorrow either, weird that. I'm not going to work though, I'm having a root canal(or at least the start of one since my tooth is still infected). AS my dad often reminds me, "Could be worse." Happy Birthday lil sis(I still refuse to be mama bear to you and Car, so too bad :P )
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Happy 33rd Birthday and Valentine's day indie! Hope you have a GREAT day!!!
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Indie! Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day, and if you need a big boost, just remember how many people you've been supporting and advising here, myself included, of course! Thanks!
BS (me) 46
STBX WH 53
Married 2000
DS, 11; DS, 10
1st A: LT D-Day - 02/14/06
2nd A: D-Day - 12/21/11
Plan B since 1/17/12
Divorcing
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Happy Birthday, Indie! I don't know if we ever crossed our path on this forum, but I read many of your posts and appreciate your insights and wisdom.
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Many happy returns Indie. Keep on doing what you're doing, and grow stronger every day!
Me, BS, 35
J, WS, 33
12 years together, married 2.
No kids, just cats
D-day 06/30/11
In Plan B
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
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I've had a lovely day! So nice to read all the best wishes from my MB family too! Love you guys xx
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Happy Birthday Indie 
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What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Happy Belated Birthday!
Luvs me some Indie!
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I've had a lovely day! So nice to read all the best wishes from my MB family too! Love you guys xx Glad to hear you had a great b'day! Bet you had some fun with the Happy McD's glam fest. And some curious looks!
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Its not belated, Surfer. I am taking the whole week as my birthday. I deserve it.
Caracel we had a great time! Then we went to see the Woman in Black which was unintentionally funny, but made us jump out of our skins!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Then we went to see the Woman in Black which was unintentionally funny, but made us jump out of our skins! Agh! That's almost a plot spoiler, I'm gonna see him not be Harry Potter tonight with my mates
Me, BS, 35
J, WS, 33
12 years together, married 2.
No kids, just cats
D-day 06/30/11
In Plan B
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
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I want to confess, everyone as I totally broke Plan B.
My mother told me she had been asked by my brother in law (an old friend of both mine and softlad) whether it was ok for him to ask me something.
I remember thinking 'I am feeling so much better, why not just hear this?' and I sorta groaned and said: 'What is it?'
She told me Softlad wanted a flask that his friend, the OWs late husband, had given him on our wedding day as his best man.
The total irony, eh? He wants a symbol of that friendship, after boinking the poor man's widow and dancing on his grave. Given to him on the day he made vows he has completley spat on.
I was about to say 'Oh just tell him he can have it' When it filtered into my brain how I was breaing Plan B. I really had been about to respond! WHAT was I thinking?
I told my mother to respond that I had not let her give me the message and that I would not receive any message other than through the right channels of my IM.
I mentioned it to my sister and she was asked to pass the message on by him first - but told him no. She did not look impressed.
I need to get a message to SL through my IM to stop using our friends as go betweens - it is not fair to anyone.
I spent a good ten minutes afterwards thinking about his lousy attitude. Ten minutes which could have been spent painting my toenails.
I am so sorry everyone. Particularly to the newer Plan Bers I am supposed to be setting an example to.
Trust me though, it is not worth allowing any breaks of light. You think you feel ok. You think you can handle it. You think the info might inform you.
But it is without exception a load of garbage that you can do without hearing. If it were not it would be able to go through the IM.
Last edited by indiegirl; 02/19/12 01:13 PM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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That isn't breaking it.
You are fine and don't send any message to SL about it.
Nothing.
Move on and beware of what causes you pain and learn from it and deal with hiccups when they come.
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That isn't breaking it.
You are fine and don't send any message to SL about it.
Nothing.
Move on and beware of what causes you pain and learn from it and deal with hiccups when they come. Yup, you are learning
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It's not the first time he has tried this though. The last time I decided to let it go, but I cant keep letting him try different go betweens.
Yes I should have said no to the message, but even saying no is not enough - it shouldnt have been there in the first place.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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argh, indie, why would your mother even ask to tell you that?  no damage done. if anything, you learned something, and that's a lesson to others. dark means dark! (and yes, he's a total tool for asking for that particular item! i expect him to try to break plan b though.) hang in there; you're still doing great!
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Indie:
Your resolve has always been a beacon to me. I slip up, too. We are human. But we both know the costs of straying from our plans: needless pain.
Keep being strong. It's who you are!
Cheers,
SP
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Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a testament to how well you have been doing that you believe that this was a break in Plan B. You can feel the difference this little bit of grey has been for you.
I agree with Reading. He didn't send the message through the proper channels so......NOTHING. I am quite certain that had he sent it through your IM, you would have considered giving him the flask. WHat a silly wayward Softlad is.
Stay strong.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Uh - been sick with crazy flu for the past two weeks.
Today is the first day I feel halfway normal. At least I hope so, as I have a maths exam tomorrow that I've been too sick to revise for. Plus I also missed my interview for my university place! Luckily I was able to rearrange one - but it will only get me on a resrve list.
I had amazing weekend plans for this weekend and last - which I couldn't do. And my Plan B has scraped the bottom of the rollercoaster more than once this past fortnight because I felt more abandoned than ever.
A few tips for plan Bers - prepare for bad weeks as well as good weekends.
Get your medicine cabinet stocked up - you will be irrationally angry that there is no one to go the pharmacy for you elsewise.
Find a takeout that does great chicken noodle soup and put the number with your flu kit.
Get some paper plates, cups and plastic cutlery. If its proper flu you will be hard pushed to pour cough medicine - you will not be equal to doing the dishes.
Find a buddy or relative that will come and help out, if you need it. Make the pact to do the same for them. If you have an angel for a mother as I do, you won't need this step.
Its funny but after this week, I feel like it is more than ever too late for softlad. He could be forthright and fearless in facing his demons, at this stage I feel past it.
Up until the point I am divorced, I would hear him out and I would encourage him to get help, most likely here.
I don't think I care enough though. That's sad but also sort of a landmark. After all Plan B is first and foremost for my personal recovery
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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