Thanks Mark. There's great support here and it helps alot.

I hope I am not interrupting this thread by asking this but can someone direct me to where this "walls and doors" prayer is?

Mark, I am sorry to hear about all that you have been through but also glad to hear you seem to be "keeping your chin up" and making it through each day. Good for you!

Stay strong!!

I totally agree. I am still wearing mine on my ring finger, and my WH's on my thumb. They are a daily reminder to me that I am the strong one, and the one who fights and stands up for what they believe in.

Mark, you sound like you're doing great.

The funny thing is, I don't really feel any different now that the D has been finalized. I still love my wife. I still don't have the slightest desire to pursue another.

I am really enjoying life. I do things for myself and by myself and I'm perfectly okay with it all.

The BEAUTY of a proper Plan B. WEll done.

So WxW seems to continually find a way to circumvent the system and my plan b.

For those who are unfamiliar, after a nonviolent confrontation with ww and om #? back into june, i decided to finally go plan b and go totally dark. She seemed to help matters as well by filing and being granted a PO. There was no violence.in the confrontation. Some words were said but nothing more. No threat. Nothing physical. During PO hearing she told judge she didn't believe I was a physical threat but she just wanted me to leave her alone. That day was the first I'd seen of her in three months. He granted it because he said I disturbed her peace.

Since then, I've only seen her once at our status hearing in September. During that hearing she was harshly reprimanded by the judge when she revealed her repeated attempts to contact me via email, phone calls, and texts. She stated she was bothered because I wouldn't respond. The judge was furious because she filed the (bogus) PO because she didn't want contact and now she's mad because I wouldn't respond. His exact words were, "You are not to contact him by phone, email, text, or SMOKE SIGNAL". I wanted to laugh.

So fast forward. She has continued to try to get through. She sent a note to me in our dd's backpack. She tried to get pastor to facilitate a meeting to give me "closure". Then, yesterday, I received a short letter in the mail from her.

During the d process, I made my lawyer aware of her attempts at contact and asked him to pursue getting the PO dismissed. In turn, they tried to get me to agree to modify the PO so that ww and I could communicate directly through email. I refused. I didn't want the PO dismissed to communicate, but to have it simply removed from my record. My plan b conditions remain in place and I don't have any intention of giving in.

I guess I just ranted about all of this because I'm torn between pursuing getting the PO dismissed on my own. The judge knows nothing of the things I've spoke of and I'm sure he wouldn't be too nice to her if he found out. If I were to do any of that, I'd be in jail. I have never wanted to involved the courts nor do anything that would bring grief to my ww because I still love her. Why do things have to be so difficult? She has no clue how much I've continued to try to shield her because of the way I still feel about her...ugh.

Rant over.

That's crazy that she was granted a PO because you disturbed her peace. You're in a tough spot because you still love her. I would still pursue getting the PO removed.

DITTO.

You should get your IM to resend the Plan B letter. Does your order include your IM?(Maybe that question should have been first).

GJM, yeah, I thought it was crazy, too. Those were his exact words. What was even crazier was that my lawyer was there when the judge reprimanded her. He even spoke to me about the possibility of pursuing getting it dismissed because I had told him before WxW spoke about it. But when the GAL got involved, she told me the same thing about getting it dismissed. Then she got the idea about modifying it in order for us to communicate. Lawyer would no longer pursue the dismissal after that suggestion even after I showed him she continued to make contact after being reprimanded.

The GAL told me I was being unreasonable to not want to communicate with WxW even if she monitored the communication. I was also unreasonable for not wanting MIL to serve as IM. MIL enabled WxW and wouldn't talk to me when I tried to go to her for help. NOW she wants me to communicate with her??? GAL told me I just needed to accept the D, move to on, and do what was best for DD. When I mentioned, parallel parenting, she wouldn't even listen.

Scotland, I thought about resending the Plan B letter again, also. I still have it somewhere and the conditions are still stand, D or no D. I'm still torn with pursuing the dismissal myself. I have proof of her continued attempts and I know she would jump on the opportunity to make me look like a fool. I just keep thinking, just because she would doesn't mean I have to. We all know she is in a different world. I've tried so many things to bring her back to reality and nothing was to any avail. I still care very deeply for her despite all she's done and can't bring myself to be the one to cause her any heartache. It may sound crazy because of all that's happened but I STILL LOVE HER.

Of course you still love her. That's why you're here. As long as you're protecting your DD and your self, that's all that matters. We all know GAL want you to drag things out so they can get paid. MIL as an IM? I don't think so! Being nice doesn't mean being a pushover or doormat. Stand firm and stay confident. The road is long and narrow, but it's right and worth it. Keep fighting.

Just an update in the personal recovery department.

Today was the end of my second week of working out. My goal is to put on about 20-25 lbs. of muscle. I weighed in at 157 last Monday. Today I weighed 164. Up a whole 7 lbs already and its definitely beginning to show. Yeah!!!

The biggest difference has been my diet. I eat a hefty breakfast every morning (I hadn't eaten breakfast in years) and eat tons of protein. I consume about 3000 calories, 350 grams of carbs and 200 grams of protein daily.

I'm on my way....

That's awesome! When I found out about my wife's affair, I was 190 and going to the gym 5 days a week. I got down to 162 after not eating or working out. I haven't started back in the gym yet, but I need to. At least I'm eating better now!
I think I'm about 168-170 right now.

I'm a former college and professional baseball player and my heaviest weight has been 165. Consistently I've been between 155-158. It would be nice to see how I look at 185 and RIPPED. LOL

Keep it up Mark! You'll get there in no time.

WOW is all I can say!

My pastor called me into his office before church and told me WxW had confronted another member of the church about a rumor about her and I having a relationship. He asked me to tell WxW to stop doing that because she is no longer my wife and it shouldn't be her concern it it were true or not (and it isn't).

I told him that 1) I couldn't and 2) I wouldn't. I don't have anything to say to her about my life. It just amazes me, though. She destroys our family with her cheating and adultery and now wants to be bothered because she heard I was dating someone. Go figure....

The skewed mind of a wayward......

Mark, don't worry about it, you seem to be doing great in your personal recovery; keep focused.

Exactly my thoughts, maryse! Its funny because this is the same girl WxW confronted me about before she left our marital church and before I went plan b. Wxw sawto us talking (we were talking about classes since we often passed one another at school). There has never been anything going on with us.

What about asking the pastor to confront your WXW? He may make an impact on her?