I know some WS get caught while affair is still on going.

For some BS their dday happened many years after the affair ended. Up to 10, 20 years. Did your WS forget the OP's name? Do you believe them?

And some WS that trickled truth for 10, 20 years past the ending of the affair now claim they can't remember the OP's name. Well I assume if your still on MB you are not stonewalling your BS. Do I assume wrong and you can't recall the OP name?

Whether WS or BS, for those that knew the OP's identity is their name forgotten?

Thing is can a WS truely forget the OP's name?

I don't think so.

WS and BS how much of the affair can you remember?

For the WS and BS such a black time makes one not want to recall what happened during the affair and block it out. If the WS and BS tried to how much can one recall?

Would MB members, both WS and BS share their experience on forgetting the OP's name.

Well, since OM has a name that sounds like an 8-year-old making an exclamation about a passing Mustang, I won't forget it.

Really? Was his mother a 12-year-old NASCAR fan or something?

Not likely either of us will forget ow name. It is one syllable shorter than my name and the nickname my brother still calls me.

re; details. I remember WAY too many. H, not so much, I think. And he certainly does not try to remember things. It makes him feel awful.


AM

After over twenty years my W had forgotten the OM last name until I stupidly brought it up. I would probably forget mine before I will ever forget his.

After over twenty years my W had forgotten the OM last name until I stupidly brought it up. I would probably forget mine before I will ever forget his.

Theroad,

My W said she never ever cheated on me a few years back, I asked what about OM2, just she said OH THAT. So not only do people claim to forget names, but entire affairs.

In my experience with people confessing affairs to me, most seem to have a very clear recollection of what happened and I would have a hard time believing that they forgot their last name. Having to conceal a fact appears to cement it in memory.

God Bless
Gamma

Thank you for responding. And I ask this not to get you to try and remember the affair. Do you get triggered and then you are forced to recall something for a momemnt any more.

Does your BH ever trigger? How far out from dday are you and BH and how long ago was the last time BH asked about the A?

As time for dday marched on when BH asked about the A has there been things that you could not answer because you no longer remember?

Your W worked with the OM. Now I've worked over 30 years since I have been an adult. I can't remember many names of the people I worled with but I remember their faces, remember them as the person that they are, remember some of the ways that we interacted.

Now these were co workers not friends or lovers. So I remember so much about them how could a WS not remember much about the OP?

Not calling any WS a liar though based on what I can remember with people that I had no outside work contact, but the connection with an AP is stronger then a co worker so this makes me think a WS should be able to remember more.

You know your WW. Not suggesting she was lying about forgetting OM2. You saw her body language as she answered you and she spoke: oh yeah, I forgot about that OM.

I have had those oh yeah moments as well.

You have to wonder how much "I forgot, I don't remember" is to do damage control or truely not remember.

I know I have forgotten the names of some of my best friends over the years. two of them I went to war with. It stinks. I have to try hard to remember the names. Not sure if that's the same.

My W after 10 years has not forgotten the name of OM1. I know I will never forget.

CV

Theroad,

Not suggesting she was lying about forgetting OM2. You saw her body language as she answered you and she spoke: oh yeah, I forgot about that OM.

To clarify, she was acting like she had forgotten the whole affair but not OM2, since we both knew OM2 there was no claiming she had forgotten OM2. We had also done things with OM2, going out to eat, having him over the house as a friend etc, all done in pain sight with the help of my blindness.

We also ran into OM2 about 5 years ago his protective body language around his child really solidified my realization.

I have had those oh yeah moments as well.You have to wonder how much "I forgot, I don't remember" is to do damage control or truely not remember.

In my Ws case she finds it very very difficult to admit to fault of any kind, and feels that the statue of limitations has expired. However W continues to leak information on an irregular basis. W has a deep seated concern about her reputation so I believe a great deal of her damage control is an attempt to keep third parties from being harmed.

She has expressed that I would never forgive her on a number of occasions and that combined with her current state of happiness in the marriage creates a high barrier to self exposure. I think if I get her extremely angry at me she might spill, but anger has been rare since I implemented MB, somewhat an odd side effect.

God Bless
Gamma

TheRoad, My wife had forgot his last name but remembered his first name. They did work together for a short period but OM quit less than a month after the affair ended. I can now see that if they continued to work at the same place the affair could have restarted at any time.

OB (other boy) has the same name as our daughter...just spelled different. Kinda hard to forget that name when we hear it and say it everyday.