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There was an excellent show on 2-6-12 about lingering resentment after an affair. Harley makes the case that recovery has not been complete if resentment lingers. Go to 9:00 into radio clip continued here..... edited to add: if you are too silly to hear these radio clips go to the archives and pull up the clips for 2-6 and you can hear the clips!
Last edited by MelodyLane; 02/07/12 06:58 PM.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Link did not work for me.
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Worked for me.
Very good points, all around.
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There was an excellent show on 2-6-12 about lingering resentment after an affair. - MelodyLane
Link did not work for me. - TheRoad
Worked for me. - SunnyDinTX Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious!
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Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious!  Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6?? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious! Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6?? Isn't that why we have women?
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Isn't that why we have women?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious! Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6?? I've never had any problem with it! Personally, I'm surprised the women know how to get around it. I did not assume you were talking about men when you said "silly," that's all I'm saying...
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Isn't that why we have women? I know I know ... You can lead me to water...
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There was an excellent show on 2-6-12 about lingering resentment after an affair. Harley makes the case that recovery has not been complete if resentment lingers. Go to 9:00 into radio clip continued here..... edited to add: if you are too silly to hear these radio clips go to the archives and pull up the clips for 2-6 and you can hear the clips! It was a good clip. I specially love the kudos to the moderators. I also love that he says anyone can do it, but you have to make the choice to.
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Isn't that why we have women? I don't know why she goes around lettin out all the big I'm getting tired sighs.  MelodyLane acts like how hard she works around here. 
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I don't know why she goes around lettin out all the big I'm getting tired sighs. MelodyLane acts like how hard she works around here.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I find Windows 7 has a hard time with the links. I use my Windows server to listen to everything. Works wonders!
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Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6??
It will just have to remain a mystery, like how to iron a shirt, or why "Oprah" wasn't cancelled after one show!
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Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious! Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6?? HEE HEE!!!!!  I don't have time to comment properly on the rest of this - headed out the door. Alls I will say is this: when you men can drive, put on makeup, and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time, THEN I'll believe you're as talented as we are!!! LOLOLOL
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This is a very interesting clip. I have a small problem understanding it though. In yesterdays's, Feb 7, radio show, Dr. Harley addresses a husband's independent behavior with gaming without his pregnant wife's enthusiastic agreement. Dr. Harley comments that if the husband continues the independent behavior, the wife will have a level of resentment that lasts for years.
Isn't a secret second life and an affair the mega-example of independent behavior? So, why wouldn't there be an expectation that there could still be resentment in the future?
AM
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Alls I will say is this: when you men can drive, put on makeup, and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time, THEN I'll believe you're as talented as we are!!! I can drive, operate my MP3 player, text my wife, and take notes on what I'm listening to all at the same time. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Alls I will say is this: when you men can drive, put on makeup, and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time, THEN I'll believe you're as talented as we are!!! I can drive, operate my MP3 player, text my wife, and take notes on what I'm listening to all at the same time. Whatevah.. ... ArmyMama, can you go ask him on the weekendmforum? That's right, SunnyD!!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Actually, this is a very serious subject. My W discovered my A and other dalliances recently. Besides a long-term interest in porn (mostly on a computer), I had a short PA w someone that I worked closely with, over 10 yrs ago. She pretty much discovered my cheating ways with this person, within weeks after it ended. Since then, over the years, I've felt the need to see several prostitutes (about 9 times) and visited a few massage parlors for the full treatment. The first A, I really have no excuses for, the opportunity was there, and I did it. There was no love, maybe infatuation, but that person is long gone, and NC since. These more recent "events" I just felt a lack of SF from my W, and wandered out. Tried talking to her, but it didn't help much.
Now we've got a big mess on our hands. I've come clean on all of it, but she's pretty hurt. She has a long memory, and I'm at a loss as to how I'm going to fix this-I'm afraid she's going to hold a long grudge - she seems to be good at that. Any ideas?
Me- FWH 50s
W - 50ish
2 DD
DDay Oct 2011
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TheDudester, please start your own thread on the Surviving an Affair forum in the Infidelity section - you'll get a lot of help there.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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