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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 299
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 299 |
I am interested in hearing from all of you about "what" brought you to this board.
There are "symptoms" when something is truly amiss in one's marriage.
Sometimes the "symptoms" are obvious, such as when I walked into the room and saw my H using online porn.
I'm not a rocket scientist, BUT I ain't stupid either!
That is how I found Marriage Builders.
Thanks to MB, my "Women's Intuition" is much more acute today than it was before finding H using online porn!
Now, I would like to hear about the obvious & not-so-obvious "symptoms" that brought you to MB...
What behavior did your spouse exhibit that caused you to realize that "something's amiss"?
Were there any tell-tale signs that, looking back in hindsight, you now realize were red flags?
Was it something as overt as actually finding your spouse in the act of committing a horrendous act?
Was it something covert that you couldn't put your finger on ~ You just knew something was wrong?
I hope this is a topic that you are interested in...
Last edited by LoveIsaChoice4Me; 01/31/12 07:11 AM.
"Now is the time for all good MB Veterans to come to the aid of their MB Rookies!"
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 46
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 46 |
Neglect in my M made me miss many things, even though I worked almost side-by-side with FWW. As a result, she had a 10 yr A, which never would have been detected had not a spurned ex lover of OM not chimed in.
Some symptoms:
1) Dramatic cooling off of SF, with excuses to go with it.
2) Opportunity for long lunches by herself (Not)
3) No scrutiny of phone bills- she paid them all
4) Lack of passionate kissing, which we used to be good at.
5) Unwillingness to ride-share, even though we went the same way/same day. Said she needed "some alone time", but this gave opportunity for those lunch dates.
6) When challenged about A possibility, FWW lied to my face. I should have acted on my gut, and checked.
Me: BH 53
FWW 49
Married 29 yrs
DDay Mid Nov11
In recovery - thank you, MB!
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820 |
you want to believe so you miss the signs.......we trust to much......she was good at what she did............
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 299
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 299 |
Neglect in my M made me miss many things, even though I worked almost side-by-side with FWW. As a result, she had a 10 yr A, which never would have been detected had not a spurned ex lover of OM not chimed in.
Some symptoms:
1) Dramatic cooling off of SF, with excuses to go with it.
2) Opportunity for long lunches by herself (Not)
3) No scrutiny of phone bills- she paid them all
4) Lack of passionate kissing, which we used to be good at.
5) Unwillingness to ride-share, even though we went the same way/same day. Said she needed "some alone time", but this gave opportunity for those lunch dates.
6) When challenged about A possibility, FWW lied to my face. I should have acted on my gut, and checked.
There are several "symptoms" I recognize in hindsight...
1) Anger
2) Lethargy
3) Defensiveness
4) Ambivalence
5) Apathy
These are but a few of the symptoms I look back at and wonder why I didn't "get it"!
I have a hard time NOT feeling guilty for being so clueless in my own thinking!
"Now is the time for all good MB Veterans to come to the aid of their MB Rookies!"
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