I recommend from the following workplace exposure letter from Notable Posts on the MB forum, developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney:

"To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,
_________________________

A smart and concerned workplace will be more interested in how their affair is affecting the workplace, so I would leave out any affair details or personal information such as how long you have been married. Point out the parts that highlight how the company resources are being misused.

On the personal letters, I would only state the current ongoing affair and leave out the part about sleeping with other women. Unless, of course, you have proof that you can disclose, if asked.

The part "Please support our marriage" is great. This helps people understand they aren't taking sides; rather, they are standing for marriage.

Then don't. A half-assed Plan B is worse than none at all. Get your ducks lined up before you push the button.

Exposure is not part of Plan B. I'm not sure where you read that. It is part of Plan A's stick. Exposure is just one of the many consequences of having an affair.

You first need to plan your exposure with surgical precision. Write down your exposure targets, starting with parents (on both sides) and closest family members, then work your way down through any friends who can support you and encourage your WH to do the right thing and leave his skank. Their employer may be the most beneficial target for exposure. Is either one of them a supervisor or in authority over the other?

Plan to expose the A in one fell swoop. Don't trickle it out a little at a time. Write down what you intend to tell them and bring the rough draft here first, so we can read it and help make any revisions.

Be ready for him to hit the roof and be furious with you for exposing his seamy little activities to the bright light of day. It is perfectly normal. At this point you DEMAND that he end the affair. Let him know that you will not remain in a marriage with three people. Tell him his affair needs to end TODAY, or you will divorce him.

If these attempts to get him to end the affair don't work, you need to be ready for Plan B. So be learning about Plan B now, to be ready to implement it.

Hi 3,
I thought I would chime in and give you the perspective of a FWS. Please listen to melodylane and the other veterans. They know what they're talking about.

You must expose and then deal with the outcome. Do not be afraid of your WH's reactions. He WILL hit the roof but it's the only thing that will kill his affair and wake him up.

You can't repair until he stops seeing the POSOW. Let him leave. Trust me when I tell you that HE is scared to death. He says he wants to leave but It's the chemicals talking. If he insists, then let him go. He will soon come to realize what a mistake it was to leave you.

Then when he comes crying back to you, insist he write a NC letter and work the MB program.

The best thing my husband could have done was offer to drive me over to my POSOM's apartment so that I could see what it was like to live with him. This scared me to death because I knew deep down that it wasn't what I wanted. I was on affair drugs. It's a powerful addiction.

Don't let fear stop you from exposing. It's the only thing that will smack him in the face with reality. Affairs are not real.
Read my story. I go back and I read it and it's all foggy garbage. I sit there and think "was that me?" It's surreal.
Hope this helps. Be strong and EXPOSE now and do it all at one time. Don't give your WH any chance to stop anything.
CT

Thanks everyone. I was using templates so I think it sounds good. Sending them off now.

Its always great to see a BS stand up for the truth.

Godspeed on this. You are doing good!

Be strong, 3634! You can expect him to be furious when he finds out and to even try to stop you. Don't let his anger deter you from your mission. If he calls while you are exposing, don't answer his calls. When you speak to him later let him know you felt everyone should know about his affair and were just spreading the good news. Don't fight, don't laugh and don't get upset.

Just tell him he has to end his affair or he needs to move out. And he will have to continue to pay the bills if he moves out. If he tries to cut you off financially, you will want to file for divorce to get legal protection. You might want to move your money to a safe place.

Have you spoken to his parents yet? And do you have the OWs parents contact info?

Are you reading the exposure tips in my exposure thread? For example, you must space out the fb letters 60 seconds apart r they will shut you down for flooding.

Alright sent off to as many people as I could think it would be useful. However I've not slept much... I need to wake up to deal with the consequences. I had the "sleep with other women" part bc he keeps talking about it. I took it out wherever I remembered, but I may have left it in some individual messages. I would message her contacts but I've blocked her on FB.

I'm worried that I've mentioned MB to him way in the past and that he won't take any of this seriously and say I'm just too dumb and need a website to tell me what to do. Hmm but I shouldn't care about what he thinks in his crazy state....

Hey MelodyLane & indiegirl, thank you. I couldn't think of so many people to send my letter to that I needed to space it out 60 seconds. They all went through, it seems. I tried to send a letter to an address that goes to his entire former company but it bounced, so I just sent it to as many emails of his company's that I have, including the CEO & HR. I hope that's enough.

Did you call his parents? And what about her parents? These are some of the most influential people in their lives. What about the OWs Facebook friends?

I've blocked the OW so I can't see her or her friends. Her parents are overseas. I FB messaged and emailed his parents. His mom and family has been supporting him along the way so now they have a message from me. I'm shaking with nervousness. But I'm happy.

Good job 3634days, I am proud of your strength, this is a tough thing to do but the most effective way you can approach this........
Your husband will be furious, so what he will get over it eventually, try not to laugh, just stay calm and keep saying over and over again that you will do whatever you have to so you can save your marriage, MelodyLane and Indie have given you great advice............
Sit back and watch the affair twist in the wind.........Stay calm when you speak and stay strong don't let his anger stop you or change your resolve.......
It will take a few days but he will get over it the madder he is the more effect it had on the affair couple, they are probably fighting as I type this to you, exactly what you want.........
This whole process takes a bit of time, exposure, the waywards finding their logic thinking again and admitting the error of their ways and deciding on a recovery plan......so don't expect anything today or even this month.......patience is key right now and sticking to your plan.............come here as often as you like for support and to stifen up the backbone. It is hard but we have all been there and know what strength it takes to fight for what is yours.........

36, go unblock her and send out messages to her parents and family members. Exposing to her parents is way too important to bypass!! You need the support of h parents too.

I just got a response from a WASP friend who gets embarrassed by everything, who didn't understand the point and questioned the whole thing. WASPs keep everything repressed though. I've gotten support from 3 other friends and my aunt.

But, I will not be ashamed! This is not my shame! How could he this to another human being, this is extremely painful. people cannot get away with this kind of destructive insensitive behavior.
Carrot AND STICK. people need to know what I'm going through.

He is drowning himself in sex and running away from his problems.

Expect him to be furious.

React to it as if you knew it was coming.

Believe me, the greatest moment of doubt a BS has is right after exposure, when the WS reacts to it.

But don't let him know you regret anything. Simply state, "These are the consequences of your action and your affair. I will do what I need to to save this marriage."

Say it ad nauseum. Don't defend. Don't argue back. Simply state the above over and over again.

Expect him to lose it completely and say some truly idiotic things.

Yes - you get it!

Because you have stopped being afraid. If every BS could get a taste of this feeling before they do exposure - no one would hesitate.

Very good point!