I hope you are not using "God has forgiven me!" on your poor wife.

You shouldn't use it on her, or us, or yourself. When was your last indiscretion? (porn, prostitute, "happy ending")

.

Ah - I take it you don't like a light tone. Fair enough I'll come down a notch.




Dont mistake the exclamation points for sarcasm - I am deadly serious.

Choice = preference.

That's reality. It is not 'ideas'

If you start to take your wife seriously instead of dismissing her complaints, you will get futher with her.

Which I wish to see here. In spite of my 'sarcasm' I wasnt kidding when I said I saw 'hope' in you. I dont always. Unfortunately I also see a lot of defensiveness too.

Dudester, I would strongly suggest you get tougher skin if you want help here. Indiegirl is very helpful and very familiar with MB concepts. You don't even want to run her off.

Have you been deManding forgiveness from your wife?

A PA, "about 9" prostitutes and "full enchiladas" at massage parlours. Good grief, how many women have had their hands on your penis since you were married?

MrNiceGuy, I have invited her here, and like you, thnk it would be beneficial.

Markos, I've read every one of those articles. I can't tell you how thankful I am that we stumbled upon this MB website, it's been a lifesaver, and will likely save my marriage.

CWMI, thanks for the skepticism; sometimes you've just got to have faith. It doesn't bother me that you don't have faith in me, I'm not trying to please you or impress you. I'm trying to find a little help over here.

For all, my W hasn't forgiven me... all of this is pretty new, and pretty raw. She may still leave - but for now, she seems to see more promise in our future than you vets.

I do appreciate the criticism, and expected a thrashing, so no one dissappointed me. The whole experience, even before my posting, has been pretty humbling.

What was her response when you asked her to come here?

When was your last indiscretion?

If I told you that I murdered my family, two people down the block, and nine prostitutes, but God had forgiven me, what would you think?

Would you think I assumed much?

ten commandments...killing and adultery both there...

What are you doing about your porn use? Has it stopped completely?

What are you doing to limit your porn viewing opportunities?

She, like me, has been all over this MB site (time permitting). So far, she's only observed other posts, and hasn't chosen to post anything.
We've done most of the excercises, and have felt the benefit of being introduced to the MB principles, but in trying to apply them.
It's tough ground, though... emotions can trigger. I know others on this thread have been there- I don't recommend it to anyone.

I dont understand this phrase, could you explain?

Well, we are disappointed too.

Would you please contact me regarding multiple posting names & contradicting histories?

HHH, the porn viewing has stopped; collection completely gone. Websites blocked.
I really had no idea it was so hurtful to her, as she tended to internalize a lot of her hurts. Some liberal folks have used vids to spice up their lives, which I tried with us. It wasn't a big hit, and I should have gotten the message.

We have learned through experience to be pretty skeptical. People do change, however, when you are dealing with professional liars, it is foolhardy to give them the benefit of the doubt. Your first post set off many red flags for me, ie: blaming your serial che ating on "unmet needs" for example. That means your wife is not safe because there is always going to be times in marriage where your needs are not met. Times like like call for strOng boundaries and there are no boundaries in place, then a repeat performance is likely.

I am hopeful about the fact she has not forgiven you and that she is reading here.

You can not assume that the highest authority has forgiven you. You can hope you are on the right path and will be forgiven.

Try focusing on your staying out of having inappropriate, cruel sexual encounters.

It would help you to focus on the here and now to avoid getting swept back into the nightmare you created.

All viewing of pornography and masturbation MUST STOP.

Even ignoring the effects it has on your wife (which you shouldn't) let's look at effects of porn use on you;

It's not just "an actress" on the screen, it's a buffet of novelty that will desensitize the pleasure centers of your brain completely. Blonde, brunette, Asian, small, big... The lazy-Susan of arousal is DAMAGING. Depending on the depths of use, it's surprising ANY flesh and blood woman arouses you at all, let alone your wife.

Physically; you have desensitized your "little buddy." Very few REAL sexual experiences with match the physical battering you hand your banana while masturbating. Many men no longer enjoy oral sex after becoming chronic porn users, because the pressure and sensations are gentle, as compared to a fisted assault.

Incomplete erection, premature ejaculation, or an inability to climax are also introduced.

Maybe you think your a "stud" cause you could whack 'ol Willy several times a day? That goes back to novelty. Men, especially older men, have an ejaculatory refractory period in stable sexual relationships. The cost of less frequent sex pays the benefit benefit of higher quality orgasm.

And this is just the self-damage you have done... Not even all of it.

Dude, NO MORE PORN OR MASTURBATION!

HHH, I hear you lound and clear. I feel fortunate that I don't seem to suffer from the many negative effects you cited.
We've put in some strong boundaries- MB has been absolutely helpful in figuring this out and giving us some direction.

Multiple posting names?

Explain.

And, another one bites the dust!

THANK YOU JUSTUSS

This is what I love about MB.

You are expected to play by the rules,

Account for yourself

Prove yourself

Be truthful

Be about actions, not words

So many people, when they heard I was taking such drastic advice on my life from a website I had found through google were aghast and said - but how can you TRUST the site?

THIS is why. Because it protects members from untruths. Now everyone close to me who has had a chance to see how this site operates now agree with me that it is rock solid.

Dudester - if you are still reading , this is a safe place. You won't get along very well here while you are unsafe.

Start being a truthful person and see how you go from there.

Why dont you take some time to think things over?

Check out my sig