Well, let's say that landlines are for parents who are old enough to have adult children....

I don't know OMW's mothers info- I know OM mothers info, I directed BH to it on his FB, if he doesn't hear back. From what I've heard, OM's mother makes satan himself cry, so I don't think she would be the type to cover something up. I also got the home address and emailed that to BH.

More painful to read all the people telling him to cut and run...

...but with many more urging him to approach the issue rationally.

1) How's the leg?
2) How's your "vision" of the future?

Yes, thank you for being the rational. Leg is feeling better. Hoping to not have to take any more pain killers- I think I'm closing my eyes for 10 minutes, and then 2 hours later, I wake up with drool on my face- hard to get anything accomplished in that state. Vision for the future is still in my head, but when I haven't been sleeping, I've been thinking about it a lot.

DoroM, it's a process. No one here is going to try to convince your BH which path he should take, but they are going to lay it all out for him. You already knew that we would do this. It would do HIM a great disservice if people didn't tell him the things they have been.

Even if he decides to "cut and run" you will still need to fix what you did and who you became. Becoming a wayward changes you to the core, and to get out of that, you need to learn and grow. You can't run from this, it is a part of you now. Earn that "F."

I certainly hope you aren't including me in your mental checklist of people who told him to "cut and run."

While such was mentioned in my post, it was not my advice nor analysis - even though I've ran you like Buford Pusser.

If ya think that's what I told him, reread the post.

I don't want to run from this- and it's something that I've become more and more accepting of as time goes on. By accepting, I mean accepting whatever path I end up on (w/BH or not). Regardless of the path I'm on, I'm still going to be a different person on said path. As I told BH today, I feel more peace about whatever he decides. And I believe that to be true (I did concede that there was always a small chance that was just the narcotics talking, but I'm still going to go ahead and assume it's peace from God, considering I have been spending a bit of time praying and it's been at least 16 hours since any pain killers)
Certainly not! I mentally apologized to you for all the things I was thinking about you previously when I was so frustrated.... I had to just google Buford Pusser, btw.

I'd be more of a Joe Don Baker representation than Dwayne Johnson...

Also; fell you on the painkillers. I can't take them... but, I know after some procedures, it's either be a little dopey, or be in unbearable pain. I've only ever once in my life been through unbearable pain, and at that time I appreciated the pain killers.

Half tabs, maybe?

No- think I'm done (gonna sell the rest on ebay...KIDDING!). I've been transitioning to Ibuprofen and Tylenol and it feels okay. Hoping to have a productive day tomorrow (at least as productive as one can be with one leg). Plenty of time to come up with some more EP's (my BH told me today that I needed to add like another 100, and then he said if he decided this was gonna work, he was going to add another 300)

Why not schedule a joint phone conference for you and BH with the Harleys.

Well, last time we talked to Steve, (separately), he had told us to make appts again in 1-2 weeks (separately). So I'm not sure he wants us to have joint conference? Not sure BH wants to have joint conference. I don't know.

Not sure BH wants to have joint conference. I don't know.

Recovery Rule #1, (and 2, 3, 4,.....):
ESPECIALLY AT THE FRONT-END, THE BS SETS THE AGENDA AND THE SCHEDULE!!

Your intuition is good on this Ma'am, in spite (because?) of all the drugs you're consuming.

There is a remarkable piece of good news in your recent posts, which you might not have realized. Heal quickly, we have work for you to do.

So does this mean that you and BH are going to do another session? Have your's and BH's next sessions booked?

Has BH talked much about his MB forum experience?

What did BH think about Steve H?

Yes, we are planning to do more sessions (separately), probably in about a week or so. As far as I know, BH hasn't called to book his yet. BH hasn't really said that much about the MB forum experience to me, I think he thinks it's good to get opinions/advice from people who have been in this situation before.

As far as I know, BH liked Steve H, thinks he truly wants to help you heal and be healthy, whether you choose divorce or reconciliation.

Doro... the one thing I would advise, is that if you are going to do ongoing phone coaching with the Harley's follow their advice.

There are some very experienced members here who give great advice, but it may at times conflict with what the paid coach will tell you.

Not that it isn't MB advice, it's just different MB advice than from what you are getting from Steve.

Make sense?

The best thing to do is take notes from your phone sessions, and if you have questions, bring them here so those experienced members can clarify Steve's advice if you need it.

Yep, makes sense. I know that I'm following all of Steve's advice, and while I don't know everything Steve told BH, I think he is also. I know that Steve told BH to call me occasionally to say hi (I'm out of state for another week and half), and BH has been calling, even though he says he hasn't really wanted to.

At least he's listening to Steve and doing what he told him to do. The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.

That's a GIANT leap for your BH. Good on him.

Now, what have YOU been doing to ensure your side of the fence is all cleared up?

I've been working on stuff Harley told me to work on (Figuring out how to protect my top EN from someone else). I've emailed that to BH and Harley.

I've created more EPs (below). I'm in contact with the pastor of my church at home, regarding women to mentor/etc. Been praying a lot.

The additional EPs (yes, I borrowed some I've read here)
1. I will protect you and your feelings above all else.
2. I will not discuss my personal marriage issues with anyone of the opposite sex.
3. I will be open and honest with you at all times about the past and present.
4. I will provide you with a daily schedule of all appointments and contact information.
5. If I need to make an adjustment to my schedule, I will notify you of the change immediately.
6. I will make your phone calls my highest priority by answering them or returning them immediately.
7. You can have my phone anytime you ask, no questions asked
8. I will commit to at least 15 hours of undivided attention with you to meet each others ENs every week.
9. I will install a internet tracker thingee on my computer, so you have access to everything I do
10. I will get a GPS program on my phone (not sure if I can with 3G, or if I need new iphone) so you can see where I am at all times
11. Anytime I have the thought, �I don�t want my spouse to know about �___�, I will tell you immediately
12. Will talk to a lawyer to have some sort of post-nuptial agreement drawn up, giving you whatever you want if we divorce for reason related to me.
13. Anything else that you want as a boundary.

Question regarding the post-nup. I didn't include it in my original EP list, as I thought it may offend BH b/c he doesn't care about $ that much. He brought it up a few days ago (and said yes, he probably would've been offended if I had put it in originally), and thought maybe it would be a good idea- but he also pointed out that it would give me a bigger reason to lie to him if anything were to happen again. I'm not sure what to say/do about that- b/c obviously, me saying "it's never going to happen again." does not really mean much. thoughts?

If your BH did not ask for a post nup then take it off the table with a big smile and yes dear no more talk about post nup.

I see his point that a post nup could stop you from being honest in BH mind. BH needs to feel that you will be honest, that he needs to regain trust.

Repair post affair can start right away after dday. Though it's completion will take years.