Send this to the Director of Human Resources at their workplace and cc a key vice president and their supervisors:

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

What Mel said is true. But, rest assured, you won't be waiting too long! Mega-patience isn't required at this stage.

If you do not hear from the OW's husband it might be becuase the OW intercepted your message and deleted it. You should be prepared to drive over there and see her husband if you don't hear from him.

And just expect your husband to be furious and to make all manner of threats when he finds out. Just tell him you were "spreading the good news!" Don't let his threats and rants and raving scare you one bit! It will all blow over.

NB28 you are probably right but I would love to be a fly on the wall right now.

Sadly MelodyLane her parents have both died so I can't inform them, she has two brothers and one already knows but the other one may well be the next to be informed. Although to be honest with the class of family I don't think that they will be too concerned.

I will continue to monitor his phone until I get bored with it, if he makes an attempt to come back to me I'll see how I feel then, yes I still love him hopelessly but I also want to see him suffer at the moment.

I would like to thank you all as this experience tonight has given me so much pleasure, I didn't realise the level of relief I would feel informing the people who matter to her.

I will update on any phone activity as it happens but now I feel I should get some sleep, the vodka has made me quite sleepy.

Have a good rest WWN,

Tomorrow the vets will help you if you want a plan where you set your WH a list of things he must meet and agree too before you take him back.

You also will need to learn about your side of things and what we call PLan A where you show your WH that you can meet his needs should he commit to the marriage.

I am more of a exposure helper than a plan helper so for now take care and make sure you don't rise to any fireworks that may come your way.

Just remember the angrier the WH and OW are the better because it means what you did has thrown a spanner in their affair fantasy world.

It's called Intermittent Reinforcement. Almost a definition of adultery.

Operant Conditioning studies have for years documented Intermittent Reinforcement will addict someone to something, or to someone, or to feelings in general faster and more thoroughly than any other approach.

It�s a reason a good Plan A then dark Plan B so often helps break the affair bubble � make the adulterers rely on each other for all ENs all the time. Takes away both the intermittent and the reinforcement aspects as well as induces conflict between the adulterers. Dr H appears to have discovered early on morons are quite susceptible to operant conditioning.

OK so now everyone who doesn't have the privacy settings on in her facebook contacts is now aware of what has gone on.

There were several soppy text messages from him to her last night, apparently she's everything he does and everything he is. It's funny that he's started that up again when I've not contacted him for a few days and during the last contact I mentioned the divorce. He's desperately trying to cling to some life raft.

Oh and there were at least 7 work colleagues in the list

Well done you! What a warrior. Have your script ready for when WH tries to manipulate you with rage..

'I did it to save our marriage' 'I will not condone adultery' He will try everything to get you off script and into a fight, but dont let him.

look good, be calm etc...

Well still no word on any front. It looks like my messages from facebook may not have all been sent. I think I may have her home phone number so that will be my next option.

WH hasn't contacted her since last night, I feel that the conversation that they had may well have been her telling him to stop texting and ringing but only time will tell, I know she must love having him pine for her which is why she'll be texting him in a friendly manner, just to see what she can provoke from him.

I almost feel sorry for the pathetic man.

Keep up the good work, WWN, and don't stop until you have spoken to her husband! Even if you have to drive to her house and knock on her door. Do you have a good friend, relative you can take with you?

Also, you might have answered this before but have you told your children about their father's affair? They should be told before this all blows up. And encouraged to ask their father why he is risking their family for some ho.

Both children are fully aware of the affair but not the other, possibly untrue, matter of the pregnancy. My son won't get involved, he still feels that his father will return and doesn't want to rock the boat by asking him anything. He tells him he's fine when he speaks to his dad but the reality is he's not, he misses his dad terribly.

My daughter is at the other end of the scale, she despises her father at the moment, she thinks I'm better off without him. I know she's hurting because he rang our son last week but not her.

When we split up the first time around our daughter went all out to speak with the OW and told her what she thought of her, she then started asking her father questions about who she was, where she lived etc. This infuriated my WH and he threatened to disappear from our lives. This in turn devastated my daughter and she is yet to forgive him.

When WH came home the relationship between the two of them was very strained whereas our son just slotted back into the routine no questions asked.

This time around my daughter got abusive in a text to her father (she is almost 21) because he hadn't rang her but had her brother. WH's response was 'good luck and goodbye' this went on to further devastate her. Their personalities are very similar, she's always been a daddys girl but won't admit it.

Throughout the childrens lives I have been the one who has dealt with everything for them as WH worked away from home a great deal, it's funny thinking about it but there was never an issue of infidelity when he worked away but then two months into a job 4 miles up the road from home and wham, our lives are turned upside down.

I've just discovered that he's been injured at work today, he's been to the hospital (1 mile from home) and not bothered to come to see his children.

Adultery makes for lousy parenting.
No one drunk with lust & adultery makes a good parent.

That is so true. He gave our son �15 in a card for his birthday, I scrimped to buy him some clothes and a game for his xbox and then paid for him to go the cinema. It means I have to go without for a couple of weeks but isn't that what being a parent is all about?

He's like a falling down drunk.
Selfish and mean.

The following link is to a letter I quoted from a non-Harley book.

Maybe reading it to your kids will help them?
I know this letter is a little juvenile, but it's up to you if you think it may help.

*** LINK *** to a Notable Post

I often wonder how much money he spent on his OW for Valentines day even though it was his sons birthday.

The letter is so sad, why do people in affairs switch off their feelings for the people that have loved them for so long, I have loved him for over half my lifetime and it's not getting any easier for me as the days go on. Our son is in denial with occassional outbursts of anger, usually aimed at me, and our daughter is always angry toward him.

The car crash in the letter is a metaphor. Actually, it is allegorical .... an extended metaphor.
Adultery is like a car crash.
Injuries.
Damage.
Repairs.
And, sometimes, litigation.

Your son trusts you to love him after his angry outburst towards you.
Your son has seen that his wayward father cannot be trusted with honest feelings (see his sister).

Have you seen the George Clooney movie "The Descendants" ?
It features angry child/wayward parent dynamics.
Very truthful.

I had guessed that as that is currently how I feel.

I'm currently not knowing what to do as I believe the OW no longer wants my husband, she was texting him last night and dangles carrots but when it comes to making the decision to leave her own husband, I don't think she's prepared to do it. How is my WH ever going to get her out of his system if this continues?

I can't take him back knowing that I'd always be his second choice. My children are too old now to have any influence over him as he thinks they're now old enough to cope without him.

I'm not feeling as strong as I was last night or even first thing this morning. I think it could be because I know he's been hurt and my caring side wants to run to comfort him (the physical injury from work not the emotional hurt of her not wanting him)

I'm getting so tired of this rollercoaster ride, my feelings are all over the place.

Remember, an important part of Plan A is self care.
It is imperative you not ignore self care.

Your "TAKER" is royally pissed off.
Your "GIVER" is getting exhausted.
So, in order to quiet down your TAKER, you do great things for yourself.

You should read up on other situations, more 'hopeless' than yours .... that turned around.

I'll look up someone special.

Be right back with a link.

LINK to RidicSit's first thread

Her first thread was "Need a spine".... then, she found her spine!

The OW 'dumped' her WH after exposure.
Her WH slumped around, severely depressed, love sick, needed hospitalization !!!!!!

All of this while RidicSit had to parent 4 young very banged up children .... Her WH (after being dumped) was insufferable. Talk about a roller coaster ride !!!!

Her most recent post is *** here ***