So I have a question for anybody who might know how difficult or if it is worthwhile investigating if my ex-wifes supposed fiancee is living with her. The terms of our divorce decree state that if she has a significant other living with her that I do not need to pay maintenance. She has been living with her boyfriend/fiancee for over at least a year but will not admit it. I just recently found out she is not engaged as well. I have about 14 months left on my maintenance but if it is worth pursuing I would rather not have to pay $3500 a month. If I hire a PI to look into this what things will prove that the fiancee is living there? THat he gets his mail there? That a bill is in his name for electricity or water? And then once that is done is it difficult to terminate the decree based on this information or am I opening up a whole new can of worms?

I'd say it's more than worth it to get a PI...but it depends on how good a lawyer you have to change the decree and how much you would be paying him/her.

The vets will know more than I, but I'd say it could be worth it.

The definition of co-habitation varies from state to state. You only need to know the rule for your own state. In mine it is 30 days of continuous living together, in others it is the co-mingling of finances. I don't think being engaged is ever relevant.

This is not going to cost you much money. Why should you support your exW's new boyfriend? Find out the correct definition from a lawyer, get a good PI and take it back to the court where your divorce happened.

All wonderful questions you need to ask your attorney. Also, reread your divorce decree and see if she is under any obligation to inform you when she has a paramour move into the home...if so, you might be able to do something about having paid maintenance for a year while he was living there already. But your attorney will be able to analyze your situation properly based on your actual divorce order and the laws of your state.

Got to say I would love to know how this turns out for you....... If my exww can do the same it could make a huge difference for me !!

At least in my state it's not only living together but also a commingling of funds for utilities and living expenses..... Best of luck with it,you'd think the judge would see it for what it is and rule your way

SC

Yes I have read my decree as I have had it for 5 years and always look at it but it is pretty clear. It says the following:
In the event of the death, remarriage, or cohabitation (defined as an intimate, romantic live-in relationship with a male individual) of the Wife during the period of contractual spousal maintenance, the Husband's obligation to continue spousal maintenance payments shall terminate.

My fear is that she could claim that with his income and her income they still will not be able to support her life style and the children. I have no problem paying my child support as that is the way it should be until the are 19. But I don't want the chance of the divorce decree being restructured because some judge believes her sob story. I have one more year left but I surely could use the break of not having to pay a year early if anybody can give some feedback if they have done it and if it was pretty straight forward. Of course I will ask my lawyers advice as well. Just trying to gather as much info as possible before I make a decision.

One thing you will have to have is strong admissible evidence that this is going on. I liked the PI suggestion but it should be documented over a period of time. My concern is that once you set a hearing for this (and give her notice of the hearing) all she has to do is change her living arrangements so she can answer truthfully that no one is living with her. It's hard to get a support ruling changed without good reason. I agree with the others too -- this is a matter to be discussed with your attorney.

One more thing, if she's just engaged and not living with him I don't think you can do anything about it.

To tell you the truth no one cares, lawyers, relatives or friends. My hubby is moving out of state to be with his new woman.

Hi. The engagement was more of a trigger event in my mind to pursue this. I was just thinking to myself that if I asked somebody to marry me I would want to be able to support them on my own or work together as a team to support each other and not have to depend on somebody else. I think it is just ironic that she portrays herself as being an independent person to the children yet she depends on me and is not willing to marry this person I am sure until late next year when her maintenance is up.