here are my EPs, which i had drawn up BEFORE the drama last nght!i'm sure i'm LBing in a couple places; please help me refine them. feel free to 2x4 - i'm so angry, and i'm allowing anger to get in the way of progress i think.
i should probably add that i've been hanging around MB for several months now, though i didn't join until more recently. i've been trying toimplement the concepts, but was a little reticent, to my detriment. i've been foolish; now i want to be smart.
In order to create a sense of stability and security for my wife and my marriage, I will:
1. Delete all females from my facebook page except for relatives
2. Not real-time chat with any females I am not related to
3. Contact MM models only via MM, for which I have given my wife my password
4. Contact models not on MM via email, for which my wife has the password
5. When contacting models, only talk �business� - no personal conversations
6. Not accept any �old friend� contacts without my wife�s express agreement, and also give her my password for this site
7. Always think of my wife�s feelings, and consider that she is sensitive to any possible inappropriate talk due to my own actions, so I promise to consider her feelings first and always
8. Not engage in any texting conversations of a personal manner with any females. Business-related texts only.
9. I will not delete any texts sent or received on any phone or internet account without my wife�s express agreement
10. I will tell my wife immediately if any female attempts to �add� me to any account
11. I will tell my wife immediately if any female attempts to engage me in personal conversation, as well as tell my wife what I did to avoid the situation
12. I will not put anything before my wife as more important: not work, hobbies, photography, cars, etc. My marriage is the most important part of my life and it comes first.
As well as �not� do things, I also promise to:
1. I will learn about Marriage Builders and actively work the programme
2. I will read �extraordinary precautions� down at the bottom of the response to the letter in the link so I understand that this agreement is not about punishment, but about building a strong marital relationship that will create trust between my wife and I http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5065_qa.html
3. I will fill in the MB worksheets, particularly the Love Busters questionnaire so my wife knows what behaviours make withdrawals from my Love Bank, and can be avoided.
4. I will fill in the MB worksheets, and consider revising my Top 5 Emotional Needs to reflect what was missing earlier in our relationship.
5. I will complete #3-4 so my wife understands where she let me down previously, so she can make sure she meets my Emotional Needs and doesn�t inadvertently cause Love Busters
6. I will actively engage in making deposits into my wife�s Love Bank
7. I will consciously avoid making Love Busters due to �not knowing� what they are.
8. I understand that my behaviour is a direct result of my own decisions. I will not make excuses; instead, I will be 100% responsible for my choices and its outcomes.
9. I will read the 10 steps (scroll down after opening the link and look for the 1 - 10) for showing affection and do them each day so my wife feels the love I have for her http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5010_qa.html
10. I will make every attempt to understand the Policy of Joint Agreement, and follow the steps for making discussion of issues calm and rational
11. I will avoid being away from home overnight, and if it can�t be avoided, I will skype my wife while I am away.
12. I will make every effort to spend at least 15 hours a week in Undivided Attention time with my wife. I understand that this also means I receive 15 hours of her attention! UA time will be planned in advance, and I will actively engage in deciding what to do together.
13. I will discuss and begin a jointly enjoyable recreation activity so that we can have fun together doing something we BOTH enjoy
14. I will keep in mind that my wife does not consider chore time together time. Chores are in addition to Undivided Attention time.
15. I will accept that my wife loves me and allow her to show me she loves me without pushing her away.
This list may be added to and subtracted from at any time after POJA.
6 March 2012
*Amendments to stay in marriage/marital home:
1. I will submit to a polygraph test
2. I will attend joint MC with Dr Harley
3. I will sign a post-nuptial agreement drafted by our attorney
4. I will immediately learn about MB concepts and agree to actively work the programme starting immediately.