I can see what you are saying about having crazy things to say or do. I think it is in some ways she doesnt know what she wants. One day she was nice next day mean. She was gettin her needs met by 2 people even though she will say she was not or did not want that. Heck she had a heck of a time acknowledging that I knew it was going on and it was true. Even in the face of proof. the more she is in denial i suppose the more she denies, right?
So would you suggest I write her a nice email telling her I accept her faults and still am interested in working through them? or something like that? for plan A
Letting her know there is help out there for us.

That's the problem with telling lies about wanting this or that, the liar can't remember what lie was told to whom (who?).

This is fog. Pardon my French, but when a wayward is this foggy they can't find their own @$* with both hands.

The reason her fury is staying at high alert is because she is still in the fog. The reason she is still in the fog is because she sees ratboy at work every day. Hopefully one of them will leave the job soon. It will take longer for the affair to die this way, so you really need to be PATIENT and look for every opportunity to kill this affair. Don't you DARE pass up any opportunies, because the more you hit the affair, the faster it will die.

When will you be seeing the kids?

Well, you had better NOT accept her faults. Which faults were you planning on accepting? A letter is nice, but it needs to be one telling her that you love her and because of that, you would be willing to give her an opporunity under certain conditions. Let her know that you know you made several mistakes in your marriage, too, and would be willing to leave the past in the past under certain conditions. Tell her that you want a romantic, passionate marriage with her more than anything. You would be willing to explore this if she ended her affair and cut off all contact with OM.

melody
what you said is right. I did not mean the affair. I meant the fact we both have done things wrong in our relationship. I dont think I had a clue how to maintain and keep a marriage strong until this happened. I dont think she probably knows half of what I have learned from mb. We had a good relationship but looking back we could have done so much better if we knew how to solve issues like I do now.
i am thinking of a nice email stating alot of what you said above melody.
would this be a good plan do you think?
I am thinking of doing this tonight

i will keep the pressure on to kill the affair when I can
I still have not heard back from the pos guy after I sent him his reply telling him I will not do as he asks under his conditions. But I do expect it to end as he said it would and if it doesnt I would expose what a liar he is again for the second time and find new people to expose it to.

I think it would be a great idea, but I want to caution you about one thing. While it is good to extend and olive branch and show her a path out of the forest, you want to be very careful about seeming APOLOGETIC about your exposure. If you do that, you will be handing her a bullet with which to shoot you. You will be validating her FOGGED out resentment at getting exposure. See what I mean? It is vitally important that you don't ever apologize or act apologetic for that action. You don't want to fuel her fog!

As her affair crumbles, her fog will lift and she will have that letter from you offering her a path back.

Please post the letter here and let us give you feedback, ok?

sounds good let me wrap it up

Well update just got this reply from POS
Take a look feedback

Perhaps I have been unclear at some point throughout the last correspondence.� I am done with all non-professional correspondence with your wife and all correspondence with you (after this email.)� That is all you need to know, and apparently all you stated you are after.� Since you are still making demands given my declared position, clearly there is no way to completely satisfy you.� I’m not sure what else I can tell you ?� All I needed to know is that you are done contacting my family for good.� Check up on your wife if you feel the need to – that is an issue between you and her.� “Checking up” on me is in no way acceptable in any fashion.� The manner in which you leave yourself open to contact my family, employer, friends, or the lady down the street if you feel in any way that you are not getting what you desire is in no way an acceptable compromise.� I am not willing to sell my family’s safety on the premise that you may wake up tomorrow and feel your “terms” are not being met.�

�

As far as the castle doctrine, you are absolutely correct in your interpretation.� If you follow me in the manner that you did before – which is reasonably considered to be both intimidating and threatening (per witness accounts as well), then you being on my property will constitute the very situation the castle doctrine defines.� I’m glad that you understand that.

�

As of now, consider yourself formally notified that my family wishes for you to cease all communications whether written, oral, or electronic.� Whether you feel the need to “expose the truth” or not is of no consequence.� They have expressed their wish – in a documented fashion, and you will comply.�

�

Yes, it is true that right now we are after the same goal – not to have contact with family.� You, however, really need to understand the following:

�

My family does not wish to have any contact from you.� This has been stated and articulated to you in this email.� This makes contact from you illegal from this point forward (stalking – with the purpose of disseminating information.)� I don’t care what your justification is from this point on.� Below are some Wisconsin statutes in regard to this statement. � Consider that in Wisconsin, intimidation does not rely on the statement of intent, simply the implication.� Clearly my mother feels threatened and in fear of her safety.� I’m telling you that so you understand you are to stop contacting my family.� �

�

Again, I reiterate that no matter what you are saying in your letters, I feel your overt conduct is intimidating and threating to my personal safety.� You have established a course of conduct that is not conducive to a healthy interaction and has caused considerable distress to me.� My family has voiced the same concerns and you have caused my mother emotional distress.� She and my father have asked that I formally notify you of their wish never to hear from you again.�

�

If you are unclear on these matters, I suggest you check with your DA or your PD Sgt.� Whatever you need to do is fine.� Below are the statutes previously mentioned.� I have highlighted what you should show your District Attorney friend for confirmation.� I am asking you to please stop committing the actions specifically outlined in the below statutes.�

�

I am done contacting your wife and I can do nothing besides tell you that at this point.� I am pleading with you to please stop contacting me and my family.� If you acknowledge that you will never again contact me or my family, the matter is settled here and now.� After this, I will not correspond with you.� This is not about a legal threat, this is about my request to you to leave me and my family alone prior to taking legal action to ensure that.� I refuse to live under the fear that you may, at any time, attempt to destroy my reputation at my place of employment or cause me or my family any further emotional distress.� If you wish to respond with “OK,”� I would find that to be perfectly acceptable.� � If it is, please let me know so I can stop watching in my rearview mirror waiting to be run off the road.�

�

Respectfully,

I am so getting a kick out of wussy boy sweating over you exposing him! Where does he get off demanding that you "acknowledge" you will never contact his family again? He does not have the authority to speak on their behalf and has no legal standing to stop you from exposing him again.

I would completely IGNORE HIM. He can take that "acknowledgement" and put it where the sun don't shine!

Nice score on the exposure, rt! Whatta hoot!

POSOM can only tell you not to contact HIM and/or his minor children. He can't issue a blanket statement that you are not to contact his "family" again. Just so you know.

And don't let him try to unnerve you about the Castle Doctrine. The way he describes it, he's allowed to shoot the mailman if he tries to deliver mail. He's trying to threaten you. When YOU'VE done nothing wrong! Sheesh! Ignore that.

The only thing I don't like is the way he worded this: That's not a promise of NC.

Does this entitled little boy seriously think he can commit adultery, refuse to stop contact and yet keep his reputation intact?



What a drama queen! Watching a cornered wayward sputter, blame shift, overreact and attempt to blame the messenger always reminds me of a spider on its back waving its legs.

Sounds like you did a great job scaring him off, I hope you didn't laugh so hard you got an injury when you read his ramblings.

I have just one question?

RT, you are in Wisconsin?

Isn't adultery ILLEGAL in Wisconsin?

Slap arrogant boy with a letter from your lawyer saying you will press felony charges if he doesn't leave YOU and YOUR WIFE alone!

What a sense of entitlement this pig has!

Don't let him rattle you, RT. You did nothing wrong and he knows it. He has no ground to stand on!
CT

Have your lawyer send this letter.

And have your lawyer get the DA to also press charges against him threatening you and have him charged with commiting a felony for threatening your life and another for felony of adultery. When OM has to apply for work and he has to put down were you ever chraged with any crime, karma.

Citing the castle law is his way of saying that he can and will use deadly force to kill you.

You have not threatened to harm him, you have not said you are going to phyiscally harm him, OM has no reason to threaten you with murder for telling the truth.

That him citing this law he is the one threatening harm for you have never threatened him.

Get your lawyer on this. Also re expose at work that OM your WW AP and co worker is now threatening to kill you.

If this doesn't get OM fired I don't know what will.

I agree.

Do not let pansy boy get away with anything!

How dare he talk down to you like you had an affair with HIS wife. Scumbag needs to be put in his place.

Do not let fear stop you, RT!

He ruined your life not the other way around.

Besides, this wimp sent your wife down the river without a raft without blinking. Your wife will come to realize this, RT.

I think part of her anger is knowing he threw her under the bus when she was ready to give up everything for him.

Wow is that true? I wanna live in Wisconsin!

Road that's incredible. I just love the wealth of information on here. MB rocks.

Under Wisconsin law, if a married person has sexual intercourse with a person who is not his spouse, both parties commit the crime of adultery. Under Wisconsin law (WI Statute 944.16), adultery is a Class I felony.

The penalty for a Class I Felony is a fine of up to $10,000, or imprisonment of up to 3-1/2 years, or both; however, for a repeat offender, the term of imprisonment may increase up to 2 years with prior misdemeanor convictions, and up to 6 years with a prior felony conviction.

Thats because she has never been in an addictive affair before. An addiction changes everything and I can tell she is VERY addicted to this OM. The complication here is that they still work together. The affair will have to go DEEP underground because if they come out in the open everyone will know it was true. Hopefully it crumbles soon.

Yippee ki-yay mutha' ........

OM is writhing on the ground .... "Finish him".

From what I've googled, the last time someone was on trial for adultery in Wisconsin was 1990.

Go for it, RT!

Where are you? We are anxious to hear from you.