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These people may take your case:
Van Wagner & Wood, S.C., Wisconsin Criminal Defense Lawyers
Attorney Chris Van Wagner & Attorney Tracey Wood



Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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Originally Posted by comedytragedy
Under Wisconsin law, if a married person has sexual intercourse with a person who is not his spouse, both parties commit the crime of adultery. Under Wisconsin law (WI Statute 944.16), adultery is a Class I felony.

The penalty for a Class I Felony is a fine of up to $10,000, or imprisonment of up to 3-1/2 years, or both; however, for a repeat offender, the term of imprisonment may increase up to 2 years with prior misdemeanor convictions, and up to 6 years with a prior felony conviction.

I'm in Wisconsin and while this is true, from what I understand, no one prosecutes for this because it is rarely successful. The courts would be flooded with these cases, if the judges ever acknowledged it.

I mentioned this to my lawyer and he said it would never stick. Maybe threatening with it would scare the OM, but for it to actually go to court would have a snowball's chance. I also think that good, seasoned lawyers will not touch this because they know the judges will poo-poo it and then the lawyer will look like an idiot in front of his peers.

My lawyer is about 90% family practice and 10% criminal. He did make a comment that pressing charges for adultery is a criminal charge, and there was serious implications to that. I'm sorry, but I don't recall his rational for saying this wouldn't work or hasn't historically worked. It did make sense to me when he said as I recall. I think it had something to do with needing undeniable proof that is was indeed adultery.

Personally, I think a letter to the OM threatening to press charges for adultery (felony) would scare the sh*t out of him.

Last edited by stillwaiting1963; 03/07/12 01:03 PM. Reason: added content

Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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just checking in now since last night.
Glad to see all the good response.
Wow great ideas everyone I like it! I just skimmed it all but I will be looking at all this up close.
I want to finish this thing off is right.
More states should still have adultery illegal. I will look into getting this to him.
Lets see, he has a affair with my wife and then I'm the bad guy here. And I should stop making him look bad. Wait a minute you made yourself look bad buddy. It had nothing to do with me. All I did was tell the truth, does the truth bother you that much?

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Actually, I'd copy his note, insert it into another note to the world, and RE-EXPOSE under the intention of pointing out how POSOM is so terrified of being held accountable for his actions, he's making wild threats, and you're increasingly worried about his stability.

Mommy and Daddy (if still alive) would be so proud! As would POSOM's religious leader.

But then, NG does occasionally yield to his more negative impulses!

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You could just send him an email with the text of statute and a link to the source, with no personal comment at all, too.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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I know this is a completely different thing, but I once had a problem with my builder, and he refused to rectify it by saying that he was no longer in business and did not have to, so I simply sent him a certified letter containing my estimates, a copy of his current business license, and a copy of the hidden defects statue, and he mailed me a check, no more discussion involved. Sometimes less conversation is better.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Originally Posted by CWMI
You could just send him an email with the text of statute and a link to the source, with no personal comment at all, too.

Now there's an idea!


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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keep them coming! I appreciate all ideas and help. I want nothing more than to have my story be a success story on here and be able to help others

I am in and out , on and off site today.
so far I like what I'm seeing for ideas and will implement something later.

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Originally Posted by rtschida
keep them coming! I appreciate all ideas and help. I want nothing more than to have my story be a success story on here and be able to help others

rt. the only advice I can give to you ... stay true to your own integrity and character. Don't engage in a senseless pissing match with a POS.

Fight your battles with dignity, strategy, and strength.

ETA: Don't believe for one minute that POSOM is fooling anyone other than himself. I would be willing to bet that the people around him are well aware of his true character.

Last edited by pokerface; 03/07/12 05:36 PM.

ME: BW
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Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

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poker

Very true, I dont want to engage in pissing match about dumb stuff with him as he seems to want to bait me in. I have continued to try to take the high road with my wife especially, and now that he is looking for me to give him gaurentees I wont bug or expose him anymore. Simple thing I emailed to him was I would leave him alone as long as I never hear from him talking to my wife again. if i did I would not promise anything.
And I emotionally damaged him! ya and im sitting here great? no emotional damage right? My kids are doing great, this hasnt affected them?
I will gladly forget about him when he leaves my family alone, he has done enough damage! Now I know my wife has plenty to take in the blame department. Now thats another subject that I have to deal with if that time comes.

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rt, are they still working together?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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rt. I got into several back and forths with the OW in my own situation. I finally realized that I would never get any satisfaction from it... just more intense anger as OW was an arrogant, self righteous idiot.

Try to focus on the things that will help your fight and do it effectively and wisely.



ME: BW
HIM: FWH
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DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
rt, are they still working together?

yes


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I really dont know what the people around him think. I know what they should think but that is my opinion.
I am big on forgiveness, In this situation If he or she was truely sorry and showed it! Holding a grudge does nothing, If I hold a grudge and he never cares it will do nothing when he is sleeping sound at night and I'm up mad.

I prefer to be smart.

So what do you guys still say. How long do I wait for my wife to talk to me. At this point I still have not heard from her even after I sent her out the olive branch email last night letting her know I care and still think we are special and not worth throwing everything away. I would like to have a Romantic and better relationship than we ever had.

I heard from a mutual friend he called this afternoon that she txt him telling him sorry I didnt talk to you when I saw you over a month ago and let him know she is doing ok and that she has rented a small house.
All stuff he knew because I talk to him now and then but she may not have thought of that since she stopped talking to all friends in December.

Any thoughts MB experts

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Quote
Any thoughts MB experts
Yes, I have a thought: if they're working together, you've got a problem. What he's said to you means squat. They won't be able to stay apart if they're still working together.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by rtschida
So what do you guys still say. How long do I wait for my wife to talk to me. At this point I still have not heard from her even after I sent her out the olive branch email last night letting her know I care and still think we are special and not worth throwing everything away. I would like to have a Romantic and better relationship than we ever had.


I would get visitation with the kids and then she will have to speak to you. When you do see her, just be as pleasant as possible. In the meantime, just be patient! This will take longer than usual because she still works with him.

When do you get to see the kids?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Yes om is self righteous idiot also.
Poor him he feels obviously. Not what did I do but. What are you doing to me.

I am only interested in fixing myself so I dont let this ruin the rest of my life, business, self esteem. The ultimate goal is to save my marriage. I'm doing everything I think I can to do that, At some point it has to come from her right. I have shown her I Love her and want her happy. After that what else can I do?

I will keep the exposure thing alive but I am getting worn down honestly. fights with this pos is getting dumb, you cant fix a guy who refuses to help himself.
Wife, I just dont know what to do I sent her the email I guys just let it sit for a day or two?

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Originally Posted by rtschida
Wife, I just dont know what to do I sent her the email I guys just let it sit for a day or two?

It will take longer than that. I think you are expecting way too much, too soon. Give the affair a chance to crumble and then you will have a chance. Get your visitation set up, tell the kids all about the affair, and this will keep you in touch with her on a regular basis.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by rtschida
I heard from a mutual friend he called this afternoon that she txt him telling him sorry I didnt talk to you when I saw you over a month ago and let him know she is doing ok and that she has rented a small house.
All stuff he knew because I talk to him now and then but she may not have thought of that since she stopped talking to all friends in December.

Any thoughts MB experts

Did your mutual friend put any pressure on her? Like why are you throwing away a good man for a POS who will sleep with a married woman? Ok maybe not those exact words.


ME: BW
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Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

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How about her reaching out to a mutual friend for the first time in months? Kinda weird. She has talked with no one. He made sure to call me right away. Not sure why today out of the blue she reached out to someone.

Working on the kids thing.
Attorney told me the quickest fastest way is for her to just agree nicely.
Next is send her a legal letter with some teeth.
Next is full blown court but courts advised attorney they dont handle any of this quickly and would prefer to see this in divorce docs. because otherwise people waste there time getting this done and never divorce!! If it goes in divorce doc it would not be settled until divorced or get mediator involved. Judge said if it comes across her desk and she has not changed judge will not look favorable on this at all.
So i'm working on option 1 or 2 at this point.

I miss the kids, I leave them Voice mails and text but she has instructed them not to reply to me or any family members at this point.

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