Mirror, Indie didn't express her personal opinion but quoted Dr Harley. These exerpts about opposite sex friendships were from dr Harley. It takes very little to reignate the "flame" you once shared with this Lady of yours. I do not go to school reunions, neither does my H, although it is somewhat very common and expected in our society to keep "in touch" with every old bf/gf.

It would be wise to keep yourself off from those situations entirely not just go and wear some sort of bullet-proof jacket and count on that. It is not by far enough to let your spouse know about when and what you talk with this woman. Your statement "that you never over the years" and "my WS only after few months" bothers me much because you are blind about your own vulnerability.

Do you actually have a written list of YOUR own extraordinary precautions? What do YOU personally DO to affair-proof your marriage? I'm not asking about your FWW, I'm asking about you.

Perhaps not. Just because Indie has been in plan B for almost a year does not mean she is ignorant of how to work the MB plan. It does not mean she has failed. All it means is that her spouse didn't come on board. That really was a cheap shot at someone who is trying to help you, MM.

If people here didn't care about your marriage, they wouldn't be posting to you.

CV [/quote]

CV, that was a lot nicer than I would have said it.

MM, that was a real cheap shot. Your Holier than though attitude is very close to that of a wayward. Entitled, arrogant, and making excuses. It's unfortunate that you can't see what others are pointing out to you.

I can understand the statements you are making coming from someone whom has never had the benefit of reading and posting here, but from someone who claims to know about MB, it's just wrong.

Were you and Lady(OW) going to be sleeping in separate rooms? Were you going to sleep in separate beds? Was this weekend getaway in a romantic place?

You probably know your progress better than we do. I don't think anyone is questioning that. I think we'd all agree for the most part that you have done a good job in recovery too.

CV

Scot, read her last few posts, and you will see that she wasn't giving me advice at all, but denegrating my wife and my efforts. Saying that we REALLY weren't serious about R, and the like. The trouble is, I didn't agree with her and she got pissy.

I actually booked two rooms, in case my younger daughter would be coming. Chattanooga, TN isn't exactly Paris, is it? LOL.

This is why people should not make assumptions based on their own issues, and incidently why I apologized to DORO. Posters assumed that my proposed getaway was going to be romantic, or some kind of revenge meeting, with some cheap Sl*t. When the only reason I mentioned it was to illustrate how far towards Divorce I was, and how precarious our relationship had become. I'm no angel, either, because I was doing the same thing to Doro. Making assumptions. I realized that, in my concern for my niece and sympathy for Doro's husband, I was making assumptions about Doro's character that I had no right to make. Very embarrassing.

Sorry bro, but you are wrong on this one. A weekend getaway with another woman is TOTALLY inappropriate. Whether you got another room for either your D or the OW, it is still beyond the bounds of acceptability in marriage. BTW, that wasn't showing how close towards a D you were, it was showing how close to an affair you were.

Seriously, what kind of weekend was it going to be if your daughter didn't go?

CV

I reread them twice. I don't see it at all.

CV

Why do you feel the need to be hurtful to other board members? That was nothing more than twisting the knife that was already in her back.

**edit**

Gives me pause.

This reminds me very greatly of Ignorance and By-Ends in "Pilgrim's Progress" who were so self-assured (or...ignorant) that they had no care for anything else.

Mirror--

Get over yourself. You were close to an affair. You are not a saint. You booked a weekend with a woman, who cares if it was in separate rooms. Would've been easy to keep DD busy and spend time with potential OW.

"meant to illustrate how close I was to divorce"

.......and how was that, exactly? You felt entitled to spend time with other women because you were close to divorce and therefore divorced in your imagination where "close" equals "already done"?

Yup, that was a low blow.

{{{{{indie}}}}} Someone tried to write off my MB advice using this type of tactic and it stung. Just wanted to let you know I think you are a stellar poster

BUT, durmroll please, YOU WERE NOT DIVORCED. YOU WERE STILL MARRIED.

The fact that you are now justifying a friendship with a member of the opposite sex, whom is also an ex, shows how far down the slippery slope you slid. You are NOT immune to an affair. None of us are. The harder you defend it, the more wrong it seems.

During PLan A, a BS needs to work on themselves. Did you do that?

MB isn't about picking and choosing like a menu, it is meant to be used in its entirety. I believe that Indie, as I have read her posts to you, was trying to point that out to you.

Just like we tell many posters, when a poster makes your blood boil, or you feel the need to defend yourself, it may be that they are bang on, so you should heed their words.

Oh, and I haven't recovered my marriage, and have been in Plan B for more than 2 years, do you have any low digs to lob my way?

**edit**

Good luck to you...Tom

**edit**

None whatsoever. And I don't recall "digging", at you before. **edit**

So Karmasrose, I have known this woman for over 25+ years, my relationship with her ended midway through college, and I've never attempted anything since then, but according to you I'm close to an affair with her? I suppose that if we are friends for another 20 years I'll still be "close to an affair ", with her? **edit** You seem to think that if I don't follow the Harley's to the letter, I will lose control of myself and begin affairs, even if there is no evidence of any desire to do so. **edit**

Yes. The fact that you know her makes her MUCH more likely to be an AP than any other woman. You are comfortable with her--too comfortable.

It is not about self-control. You remove temptation to avoid testing limits that will break.

I appreciate your concern, Karmasrose, but I don't see anything like an affair happening with her. We are long past that stage. Now it would be like kissing my sister, Yuuuuuuk. Don't get me wrong, she is a wonderful woman, but that's the issue, I don't see her as a woman at all, anymore.