But in your venting, don't pass over the suggestions offered. Write them down as a todo list, and go through them.

Starfish --

You have every right to make that call -- that your husband is too damaged, and everything is built on lies.

However, you're in a highly emotional state, and its not the best time to make a final decision. Wait until you have all of the facts.

So be methodical. What details do you want from OW2?
Can you be sure that your husband isn't contacting her on the side to line up the stories?

And I suspect (like the others here) that OW1 is still the big threat. I think your husband is muddying the waters with the OW2 story to throw you off the trail. I think his affair with OW1 was more long-term, in-depth, and there is a lot more there that you do not know.

Stick to your plan.

Add some more questions to your list.

Let your husband know that he needs to start writing letters to BOTH OW that he will never again have contact with them for life - and that his love and loyalty are with you.

i agree with Lexy and the vets gave me the same advice over a year ago. you are in a hyper senstive state right now.

i remember being so out of my mind, all i wanted to do was calm down and i couldnt- unfortunately that lasted many months for me bc it took so long to get all of the information out of H. I finally did and then i was able to make a decision, i thing the vets even told me "to not make a decesion is a decision" so i stuck with that for a bit.

you have alot of information to sort thru.

hopefully you will get all the rest of it tonite- BUT DO NOT CANCEL THE APPOINTMENT. you will be able to put your mind at ease that at lease you can make an informed decision of what you want to do, after the appointment.

did OW2 respond on FB?

did you call OW1?

Hey starfish, just sTay your course.

You need the information anyway, so just take one day at a time.

Most BSs are told not to make a decision for six months, I thought that was a long time but it isn't.

You are on an emotional rollercoater, one day up, one day down.

The plans are your seatbelt. Cling to them. No matter what your decision, the plans keep all your options open.

He IS very sick. He is a wayward. Which is beyond frustrating and makes many women want to head for the hills.

But...

By forcing him to become radically honest, we are hoping he will defog and you will start to see a different man...and most likely regain hope for your M.

SO? Stick to the PLAN and hold off on making any decisions...for now because your feelings could change. Trust us.

{{{{{starfish}}}}}}}

I talked to the polygraph tester today and he helped me to come up with the following question:

Other than what you have already admitted, have you had any sexual contact (sexual contact will be defined) with anyone other than your wife?

One specific issue, but the issue will be asked in a couple different ways so there is no confusion. 94-95% accuracy with one specific issue. We will be there approx. 2 hrs. and the results will be delivered to me by email before noon the next day.

WH hasn't tried getting out of it again yet. I think he knows he is stuck. I contacted the wife of the friend he traveled with when he cheated and let her know what was going on. Within 2 hours of emailing her, WH's travel companion deleted the two women from fb and blocked my WH. How did he find out? Makes me wonder if someone already has a key logger or if her husband checked her messages on fb. She told me she hadn't even talked to her H yet when all of the deleting took place. She said of course she was going to talk to me first, but said he was very perceptive. He changed his phone number 3 times in the past year... hmmmmm...

this was my experience:

tester will go over the meaning of key words many times with subject before the official recorded test is taken. In case of my H, romantic/sexual was defined/asked many times. My H knew this meant internet, in person, on phone, by smoke signal, whatever. And sexual/romantic was any thoughts words, deeds, touches, hugs held too long-

they define all the possible meanings so there is no gray area

Questions

Are you deliberately concealing information about any other relationship you have had with anyone.

Are you intentionally withholding any other information about any other relationships you had with anyone

Are you purposely withholding information about any other relationships you have had with anyone.

I left the room and waited 3 hours. then we discussed the results.

Affairs are addictions. He is sick, but can get better. Follow the plan and advice and hang in there!

He won't take the poly!!!! He said I need to have faith in him!

I told him it is not an option. I had faith that he was going to prove himself and start building back my trust. I told him that he would need to find another place to stay and he made his decision.

I have no words...

He is still hiding things, starfish. I am sorry. He is hoping you will back off. Just stand firm!

Tell him that "faith" is based on evidence and so far you have no evidence that what he says is true.

He is testing to see how serious you are.

Like ML said, he is testing you to see how serious you are.

You must continue to demand the poly as you have been. Thumbs up to you for standing your ground.

You are one courageous woman. Do not let the fear sink in and stay firm with your demands, these are absolutely valid and necessary to proceed with possible recovery. Without poly you would risk false recovery.

He somehow changed the password on fb back!!! How did this happen? He couldn't have known the password that I used! I called the cops and had him leave tonight. Now, he is telling me that he needs a good night sleep and doesn't know what he wants! Seriously????

Another vote to stand your ground. Your WH is trying to weasle out of the poly. You are doing so well in fighting the good fight!!!

He has removed the safe from our house and changed every password to everything!!!!!

Should I change the locks?

Yes, absolutely. Do you have any access to any money? If you've been locked out of everything the judges won't like that...