Personally, I am appalled at the Moderation on this forum. In no way would I allow some of the "shock and awe" that goes on in this forum on any of my forums. Period.

See NG, someone is urging the mods to be more censorious!
Great! That'll reduce each of his posts to "***edit*** ***edit*** ***edit***" Hey, on second thought, that IS an improvement!

"Posom/Posow" is too kind. The acronym serves as a tremendous time-saver for the string of derogatory ajectives we'd like to put together to describe the destructive nature of these selfish, cowardly individuals (note: I'm a former cheater and I deserve all the descriptors, for sure). I would invite any of them to come here and defend their actions. If they don't want to be called pieces of [censored], then they shouldn't act like pieces of [censored]. And if you don't think destroying families and ruining innocent children's lives is a reprehensible act, then maybe this site is not for you.

As porn relates to Relationships (the point of this site, afterall is how to build stronger relationships), pornography is detrimental to the integrity of a marriage. I didn't think so either until I gave it up (inspired by Dr. Harley's writing). I would recommend the porn-free life to anyone, it's hard to describe, but something changes in you. You're explanations are too erudite for me, I only speak from experience and I do wish you the best NMUN.

~optimism

(T/J)Mods we love you! You work so hard to protect us from trolls and have even helped women in abusive situations seek help safely)

NMUN: I find it fascinating that you have aligned yourself with affair partners in this 'poor me' party you are throwing. No one called you a PoS, nor would we! cut the drama queen act.

I could write pages as to why my former best friend, who caused trouble in my marriage, then mugged me of it, is a POSOW. But I'm not going to, because you're clearly employing a technique to get us off the subject of your situation, oh master of distraction.

We merely told you porn was bad for marriage.

But if porn is too important to you to give up, that's your call.

Why not give up porn for a year, just to see if it makes a difference? If it's truly not that big a deal to you, then that shouldn't be difficult to do.

Have you POJA your pornography use with your wife? What does she say?
What is Sexual Addiction by Dr. Harley

What do you think about the "contrast effect"?
POJA

They have POJAd it, BrainHurts - his wife likes porn too.

That way they can both have contrast effect.

Yes!

**edit**

If you have an issue with the way the board is moderated, then email the moderators or the administrator. If you have an issue with the way others post, notify the moderators and let us decide on a course of action, if any. But don't disrupt this board anymore with complaints about other posters or moderators.

This is a good question, NmUN but watching a married couple on tape still would still not be exclusive. It fails to fill each others lovebanks.

If you get aroused by your wife,it fills 'admiration' coins in her lovebank.

And vice versa.

If you get aroused by porn actress/the married woman on screen the coins are not paid to your wife - they get squandered.

If your wife dresses up in something sexy for you, she puts PA coins in your lovebank.

If you instead choose an actress on screen who is wearing something you like, the coins go unspent.

Of course the same applies to your wife when she admires/finds attractive porn actors. She is wasting the opportunity to bond with you each time.

PLEASE understand this has nothing to do with her decision to have an affair. That was her bad choice and you had nothing to do with it.

We are just making you aware that the porn would have to go in recovery.

It takes 20 hours plus undivided attention time to rebuild love following an affair.

There's no time to waste squandering coins on images of strangers.

I cannot participate in a community where there is so many problems and double standards.

Thank you all to those who have helped me.

I hope I have given everyone here cause to pause and think about some things here.


Goodbye.

I should have asked the question better. I was asking if you POJA'd the porn, because both he and his wife don't mind viewing porn, but why aren't you doing it together? Then it sounds like IB behavior because they aren't doing it together. He said he didn't mind that he and his wife view porn, but was bothered when he found she was viewing "cuckold porn". So that is what I was trying to ask NMUN.

Which Notmyusername, did say that he and his wife experience IB and would have to change that if they go into recovery.

I guess none of this matters now because he said he is done with the forum.

I hope he chooses to use the MB principles or contact the coaching center to recover from his WW's affair and to have a wonderful marriage.

Watching it togethr is still not MB because it involves getting aroused to others and telling your partner they are not enough.

Well, gosh darn it. Another poster with all the answers who had a perfect opportunity to explain to us why we're wretched humans in need of edumacation. I guess we're just not capable of learning and we've tried his patience to the breaking point. When ever will we learn?? ...sigh...

Actually maritalbiss I did find this thread very educational.


But perhaps not in the way he means!

Just find addiction so fascinating

Yeah, I don't think he meant it that way.