At this time tomorrow morning, I will be getting ready to leave for our final default hearing. By this time on Thursday, I will no longer be married to my H. It seems so odd that in a matter of minutes, one can go from being a wife to being nothing, except the mother of this man's children. I am scared. I am nervous and I am sad. Will I feel differently afterwards? Will it all "hit me" as I sit there in court and answer those questions? Will I simply fall apart when it is done or will I walk out, with no emotion, no tears, no nothing? Just needing some support today. Thanks.<P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<P>

Rachel - God, I feel for you. I wish I had a crystal ball so I could tell you how you will feel and you could prepare for it. But, in truth, even if you knew, is there any preparation that would be sufficient?<P>I guess the only advice I can offer is to keep looking at the future and thinking of how things will get better once you have been through this. I would imagine you will go thru a grieving process. Your marriage has been terminally ill for some time, but even so, it's death will be a shock.<P>I kinda compare this in some small way to the death of my youngest son. He was terminally ill for 14 months, and I knew at various points he would die, but his passing was as hard as if it had been sudden. The loss is the same.<P>I have a 99.9% probability of being in your shoes sometime right before Christmas. Please continue to talk about your feelings. I will try to help in any way I can. You are fortunate in a way that there are others on this board much better than I in providing support. Stay with us so we can help.<P>Hugs, hugs and more hugs.....

Cam - I'm here. I don't know what to say. I'm dreading that day myself. But I am here for you and caring about you.<P>Be strong. <P>Lot of hugs,<P>Lori

Rachel,<BR> you are somebody, dont ever think of yourself as nothing.I feel so bad for you,I know it has to be awful,I know you are scared.I wish I had some helpful words,but I havent been in that situation.Just try and be strong ,you can make it. Believe in yourself. My thoughts are with you.

Cam,<P>I am so very sorry to hear that it has gone this route for you. I remember reading last week about the court date. This sucks worse than life itself. I will be experiencing the same mid January.<P>I could tell you the standard "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" "Your'e better off with out him" kind of crap. That doesn't help you. I have two kids with the first XW, know where your'e coming from. "They" will always be in our lives. I don't mind thou, XW and I are friends and even chat about my current problems. Wierd HUH? I wish we could have gotten along this well when we were married.<P>I tend to believe that this has been a learning experience for me and you. I have grown so much as a person. Now I know what I have to do to be a good partner. Whoever "gets" me next will have a great H.<P>Sorry to have rambled. Just wanted you to know you have another friend pulling for you. Someone who shares your pain.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

Lots of hugs thoughts and prayers for you. Take someone with you don't do this alone. I went with my sister when she went through this. You need someone to be there to give you a hug afterwards. Again Hugs, thoughts and prayers will be with you.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

I'm here too. wishing that things could be different and thinking of you.<P>please relax as much as you can today, and do something nice to yourself.<P>Big Hug<P>Kat