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I found this site on cc fraud and shipments to your house. Thought it might be of interest to you. hereWhen do you decide the questions to ask at the poly? Great work.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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I think it is a mistake to destroy evidence when you are in such early stages of recovery.
I don't understand why he wants these answers to be destroyed.
Seems that he wants to forget and to be forgiven right after his confessions.
Keep the evidence, you cannot trust him yet.
Me (FWH) 44
Mrs_Recon6mo (FWW) 42
Married 22 years
2 Children 20 and 22 years
Last D-Day for me: May 2009
Last D-Day for her: October 2008
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Put that on the back burner and don't argue about it now - focus on getting him to the poly but I agree with MrsR, DO NOT destroy that evidence.
Give it to your sister or a close friend or something for safekeeping.
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I will keep copies in a sealed envelope at my mom's house until a later date once I feel some security. Everything is in his writing, so I assume it will be okay to keep the copies?
Last edited by starfish75; 03/21/12 02:55 PM.
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lol... just realized that WH sent this email to me about 1/2 hour before he called me to tell me he would take the poly.
BW,
I love you and I'm willing to reconsider it, I still think we need a few days to get rest and get our minds clear.��I feel in a fog, and I'm sure your fog is�thicker than mine.
�
Love
me
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When do you decide the questions to ask at the poly?
I talked to the polygraph tester on Monday and we came up with the following:
Other than what you have admitted, have you had any sexual contact with anyone other than your wife?
The guy told me that we would sit down with him beforehand and discuss the question(s), so that we are all in agreeance and then he will take WH to perform the test.
If anybody would like to share the details of your polygraph experience, please do!
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OMG!!!! WH just called me and told me that he would do the polygraph!!!! He said he would do it today or as early as possible!!! He said he loves me, can't be without me, hates not seeing my face everyday and can't stand not being at the hose. He said he is SO, SO SORRY for what he has and is putting me through. He asked me that he one request by going through with the poly and that would be for me to return all of the truths that he has revealed so far, because he doesn't want those to be our lives ever again or a reminder. I agreed that this was possible after the results if he passes. My mom said that we should burn them together. The earliest appt the polygraph tester has is tomorrow. Make a copy of it for safekeeping and do not ever tell him about it. You don't want them to be a reminder either, but if you find out he is still in the affair in 6 weeks, you will need that intel. Do not ever give up your evidence. It is your protection. Congratulations!! And you very much need to address and resolve this traveling issue because it is a MAJOR problem in your marriage. I would also find a qualified marriage counselor, such as the Harleys or go through the online program so you get assigned a coach and have access to Dr Harley.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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When do you decide the questions to ask at the poly?
I talked to the polygraph tester on Monday and we came up with the following:
Other than what you have admitted, have you had any sexual contact with anyone other than your wife?
The guy told me that we would sit down with him beforehand and discuss the question(s), so that we are all in agreeance and then he will take WH to perform the test.
If anybody would like to share the details of your polygraph experience, please do! chicka wrote about the Qs that were asked of her H, basically designed to make sure nothing else was being concealed. Polygraph Testing Questions Are you deliberately concealing information about any other relationship you have had with anyone. Are you intentionally withholding any other information about any other relationships you had with anyone Are you purposely withholding information about any other relationships you have had with anyone.
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OMG!!!! WH just called me and told me that he would do the polygraph!!!! This is entirely down to YOUR nerve. Keep on keeping on!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I'm so pissed right now... I just tracked WH on Gps and he is having dinner at a Sports Bar with a guy friend! Seriously? You can even eat right now? Sorry, I'm just not happy about this... I know we all need to eat, but the place that was chosen just ticks me off!
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Trying not to LB right now....
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I'm so pissed right now... I just tracked WH on Gps and he is having dinner at a Sports Bar with a guy friend! Seriously? You can even eat right now? Sorry, I'm just not happy about this... I know we all need to eat, but the place that was chosen just ticks me off! Star, exactly what are you mad at?
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The only reason I'm asking is that it seemed from your post that you were more pissed about his ability to eat (I understand this), rather than his choice of eatery.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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No, I'm upset about the place he chose. No... he didn't meet OW#2 at the same bar.
Last edited by starfish75; 03/21/12 06:47 PM.
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More than fair enough, but I wouldn't bring this up to him right now. The bar scene is going to be a trigger for a long time for you, but don't let him know right now that you know where he was. There will be a time for that later, and you can lay out for him the reasons when the time is right. Don't divulge your intel sources.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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agree, unfortunatley.
you have an appointment tomorrow at 4pm. i know you are outta you skin right now, his buddy may have taken him out to cheer him up, bad choice but he doesnt know that those places will no longer be ok nor does your H. you are one step ahead remember.
did you ask him to give you everything, you dont want him to fail.... when the polygrapher discusses the meanings you may want to take a few minutes before the test for him to come clean. they are very detailed, and he may need a few minutes to understand. call your poly guy and tell him you think you have it all but not sure,and you want him to pass. before the actual test could he give him a min or two to come clean. my guy was so sympathetic.
you have a big day tomorrow. get some sleep.
after tomorrow we can talk about other stuff.
do not let him know about any intel or MB.
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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