Ok, what do you mean by the last sentence?
"I don't see you doing that"...? Should I add this part to him?

Tell him "your pursuit of a counselor at a time when our marriage is in crisis tells me you are not serious about doing what it takes to recover our marriage. If you are serious, then you will take the polygraph and do what is necessary to save your marriage. I don't see you doing that."

I tried getting back online to check our credit card and now I'm not able to view our statement!

I googled Appalachian Traveller and got this site that sells cast iron cookware, country ham, and folk art & crafts of the Smoky Mountains. Link Here

Googling "Healthcheck Systems" I got a site that sells baby equipment and supplies. Link here

Could these be legit purchases? If you don't think so, could they be gifts for someone?

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What that means is that he is not taking the polygraph and if he wants to save his marriage he needs to do that. I see how you interpreted it so change that sentence so it can't read the way you took it.

"your pursuit of a counselor at a time when our marriage is in crisis tells me you are not serious about doing what it takes to recover our marriage. If you are serious, then you will take the polygraph and do what is necessary to save your marriage. I don't see you doing that. I need you to take the polygraph so we can move forward and start working on our marriage."

I contacted the credit card company and they are crediting our account for the purchases as they appear to be fraudulent.

Thank you ML, I just emailed it to him!

I haven't been keeping in touch with my in-laws. I'll try to call my FIL today. I'm just not sure what to say... Should I talk to him about the polygraph?

Sure! Just let him know that you knew your H was lying and that has proved true. In order to move forward and restore trust you need him to take the polygpraph. Just explain your reasoning to your FIL and ask for his support.

If he says something like "you just need to trust him," tell him that is what you want too. And that is the purpose of the polygraph. That will be a good start on restoring trust. Your H's resistence to the polygraph tells you he is still lying though. An honest person would be happy to take the test and prove his honesty.

Just lay it out and sell it your FIL. And make sure he understands you want to save your marriage. But you know it can only be done on the basis of complete and radical honesty.

Does your FIL know about affair #2?

Starfish. Think about this...call credit card co and tell them you are having trouble getting in. There appears to be fraudulent activity on your account and you would like to check the statements.

These are the type of things I had to do in my own situation to get the truth. I got the truth. FWH had to face it.

I also called the merchant and said that I don't remember making these charges and needed more info on the purchase. I told them that I would rather clear it up with them directly than have to dispute it with the credit card co.

Chargebacks from credit card co are a real pain for merchants and they were happy to help me.

These merchants do not know that you already disputed it.

Yes, my FIL know about affair #2

I called the first merchant and it was for a stroller and the ship to address was for our address. They also gave our home phone number but a strange email address (aol). The order was placed Monday evening at 10:44pm. I checked our IP address on our laptop and it doesn't match up.

ok now i may be taking this too far-- can you create a fake email account with something like the store name. and send the "strange" aol account an email confirming shipping address.

and see who answers....

was your H home on monday at 10:44?

were the charges right after each other?

i have fraudlent charges before and they come in batches.

then back to calling your FIL, and tell him what ML told you.

Ok, just got off of the phone with my FIL. He said he understands my point of view, but also understands his son's point of view and wondering why I'm needing this when he has confided in me and told me everything, which was incredibly difficult for his son to do. I told him that he lost my faith and trust by his selfish actions and the new truth came to surface after 7 wks. Is there going to be more in 3 wks/3 months/3 years from now? I can't handle anymore of this. If what he is telling me is true then this is what I need to heal, build a clean slate so I know the truth once and for all! I cannot be in a marriage where there is no trust and I'm giving his son an opportunity to build back some trust. He asked me what kind of ?'s the polygraph tester would be asking, etc. I gave him a general idea and told him that I was not trying to torture his son with 50 questions, instead it would be a few questions based in one specific issue. I told him that I have never done anything to intentionally or unintentionally hurt his son ever and he agreed. I also said that sometimes people need to put aside their self pride after they have done something very selfish and do what needs to be done to help the person that they hurt to heal. He agreed. He told me that his son is thinking about it... he doesn't know if he is for sure going to do it or not, but knows that he is seriously thinking about it. I told him that I love his son very much and giving Bryan the opportunity to start earning back some trust, which is what any relationship is based on. I want to rebuild our marriage and realize that we have a long road ahead of us, but I think with time and hard work we can have a beautiful, loving, long-term marriage. Pretty much left it at that...

My STBX tried stalling on the poly once I told him it was being scheduled, and I had to give him a deadline. You may have to do the same. Maybe you could make it the end of the weekend or some day next week...and in the meantime do some Plan A'ing, ie, invite him over for dinner, avoid M talk, look nice, etc. If M talk comes up, remember your script regarding the poly and just be a broken record.

also
Don't forget that part of Plan A is preparing your Plan B.

I'm still trying to figure out why someone would steal your credit card number and then have the purchase sent to your home address.

OMG!!!! WH just called me and told me that he would do the polygraph!!!! He said he would do it today or as early as possible!!! He said he loves me, can't be without me, hates not seeing my face everyday and can't stand not being at the hose. He said he is SO, SO SORRY for what he has and is putting me through. He asked me that he one request by going through with the poly and that would be for me to return all of the truths that he has revealed so far, because he doesn't want those to be our lives ever again or a reminder. I agreed that this was possible after the results if he passes. My mom said that we should burn them together. The earliest appt the polygraph tester has is tomorrow.

Thank God!!! He is finally caving in!!! Thank you so very much for all of the step by step advice from all of you!! Because of your support and guidance I'm finally getting closer to the truth and healing!!!

that is fantastic! book it for tomorrow!

i would tell him that you really want him to pass this test and if there is anything else he need to tell you he should before the test as you would like to be on a clean slate once he passes and you would like to move forward. (i still think you need some claification on OW1- and what ever else may come out)- sorry. My H wrote a list out and our friend told him "you better put everything i mean every on that list for her".

i am sorry I dont understand this

"He asked me that he one request by going through with the poly and that would be for me to return all of the truths that he has revealed so far, because he doesn't want those to be our lives ever again or a reminder"

i also agree with pokerface its very strange....

Sorry, I meant everything he had written to me with his answers to all of my questions about OW#1/2. This is what he wants destroyed.

Polygraph scheduled for tomorrow @ 4:00pm.