|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 520
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 520 |
Thanks for all the support along the way. I wish you all well. I'm outta here. Peace.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
Yeah, give him a call. The great thing about exposure is for the BSs being able to get info from both sides. He may even have her take the poly.
The thing about that boat story is its clearly nonsense.
He went to the trouble of taking a boat out and dropping anchor to be alone with a woman he clearly had feelings for.
Why? To talk? You can do that at Starbucks.
Oh yeah, it was to give her undivided attention and reassure her, wasn't it? Except he didn't, he fished apparently, which would defeat the object of giving her his time, so that's clearly cobblers.
When a story has so many gaping holes in it, it is because it isn't true.
If her husband is a police sergeant, and hasn't been too badly gaslighted, he'll see its nonsense straight off.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709 |
If her husband is a police sergeant, and hasn't been too badly gaslighted, he'll see its nonsense straight off. As a police sergeant, he will understand the poly results and the level of deception. I bet he is pro poly himself. It would be great if he would require one from OW himself. Believe only what you can personally verify. That is the rule. Always.
Last edited by pokerface; 03/23/12 03:57 PM.
ME: BW HIM: FWH Married 18 yrs DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803 |
They are in the process of going to court. Their marriage isn't looking so good and he agreed that their responses seemed verbatim. He is in denial though and said that they could both be telling the truth, but the poly results don't look good.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
They are in the process of going to court. Their marriage isn't looking so good and he agreed that their responses seemed verbatim. He is in denial though and said that they could both be telling the truth, but the poly results don't look good. That sounds alright to me. A bit foggy but I like the 'verbatim' bit. Good liar she may be but he is clearly experienced with liars. You've given him what he needs that's the main thing. Its up to him to act on it. Are they getting divorced? Why?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803 |
I tracked him by gps and he is at our after work party that we have there once a month. He stayed for a little over an hour. Now he is heading back to his friend's house.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803 |
His ex-wife was causing problems and his wife has her own issues keeping in touch with other men in the marriage.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803 |
My MIL just texted me and said that she heard things didn't go well today and that she is thinking of us. WTF? How should I respond to this?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
My MIL just texted me and said that she heard things didn't go well today and that she is thinking of us. WTF? How should I respond to this? Tell her the truth. Say 'yeah the results were super bad, he's still lying. I hope he finds the courage to be honest soon' Have you told your FIL the results? Wasn't he q sensible? No hurry if you're not ready to handle the circus tonight.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
His ex-wife was causing problems and his wife has her own issues keeping in touch with other men in the marriage. Well OW clearly has no boundaries but what's this about his ex wife? Did he, OWH, tell you that? What problems?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803 |
She was having lunches, emailing ex-boyfriends/co-workers. Had drinks with the guys after work.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
That's what OW do,yet more reasons to disbelieve the boat story. I was more concerned with her BH being in touch with his XW. He shouldn't be in close contact with an ex though the trouble she's causing may be out of his control. I was fishing for info because if the BH is wayward too, he won't be much help.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803 |
Here is my MIL's response to my text back to her:
I think he has been honest or he would have never agreed 2 the test. I have 2 believe that he would not lie 2 his dad and I.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Don't respond to it. She isn't going to believe that her son did something so horrible. Don't worry about it.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
She was having lunches, emailing ex-boyfriends/co-workers. Had drinks with the guys after work. Married man with no boundaries + married woman with no boundaries = AFFAIR Their story makes no sense.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 803 |
So, I shouldn't respond to her? I AM PISSED!!!!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
I have 2 believe that he would not lie 2 his dad and I. But lying to you as he has all along is fine? She said 'has to believe' instead of 'I know' which tells you all you need to know about her. She knows she's in la la land, but she likes it much better than that scary reality place so she 'has to' live in denial. Sounds like WH grew up in the kind of household where if you kept your mouth shut or bluffed hard enough, the bad stuff wasn't classed as true. If you go Plan B, you'll prob have to plan B relatives like this who can't see the woods for the trees. I have WHs cousin next door. She honestly wants us to reconcile and can't understand why I won't speak to him. There is the little matter of his ongoing 'friendship' with OW but she insists he loves me, cause he tells her so! So she is Plan B'd too.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
So, I shouldn't respond to her? I AM PISSED!!!! And that's why you shouldn't. Not right now at least. Let some of the anger subside and some of the esteemed vets figure out a response, if there is one.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
To MIL? no
Unfortunately, this is how families shake out. They take sides.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
So, I shouldn't respond to her? I AM PISSED!!!! And that's why you shouldn't. Not right now at least. Let some of the anger subside and some of the esteemed vets figure out a response, if there is one. You said your peace, she said hers. What is there to respond to? Are you gonna convince her she's nuts? Why? Silence is potent. Learn to use its power with grace and elan. Your WHs whole family, nuts or not, are scared of losing you - so let her sweat. And no more anger missy! Keep that taker in check. However understandably provoked.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
127
guests, and
48
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,615
Posts2,323,460
Members71,895
|
Most Online3,185 Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|